Devil's Food

They caught me on a day when my sweet tooth was acting up, and they made me an offer I couldn't refuse, and so I bought a large jar of Nutella for a very good price. I hadn't bought one since my kids had grown.

I usually have something or other sweet in the fridge or cupboard, so I rarely get caught with my fingers in the Nutella jar. Time passed, and I started to worry that it would spoil before I finished it.

A few minutes, ago, I figured I could use a snack, and in one of those rare moments, I had nothing appropriate. So, I opened the "old stand-by", and peered inside. By golly, it still looked like the day I bought it, save for the parts around the rim, and even that looked like it was just a bit dry. I spread some on some toast, and it did the trick.

Let me let you in on a little secret--this stuff is a miracle food. I bought this product well over a year ago; probably 18 months ago! And I followed the directions: "Do not refrigerate". I just checked the ingredients to see WTH chemical(s) is/are maintaining the moisture, colour, taste, and texture of this unGodly stuff. There's barely any chemicals in it!

Thank God, it's almost finished. I should be done eating the last of it in about six months or so. I just had a vision of my body on a coroner's table, and someone saying "He ate two year old Nutella--did him in".

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