Sister Mary Ann

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said,

'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'

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Listen to yo mama

As a card-carrying purebred Italian, I have always made my own pasta sauce from scratch. Last week, I either suffered a stroke or someone put a spell on me or something and I did a very uncharacteristic thing: I bought a jar of prepared sauce. My mom might disown me if she finds out. The relatives might stone me or shun me--ok, I'm alright with being shunned.

Let me explain. I had decided to try to reduce my grocery bill, so I started buying things that are on sale. Most of the items are things that I buy anyway--it's just that I have always bought them regardless of whether they were on sale or not. For the most part, it's been working out extremely well. Then I saw that I could pick up a jar of Ragu pasta sauce for $1, a fraction of what it costs me to make sauce from scratch--and without the work!

Long story short...it was little better than pouring ketchup on my spaghetti--yeccchhhh. Ragu puts the rag in Ragu. Even covering my bowl with a generous helping of Parmesan cheese wasn't enough to redeem the dish. Unfortunately, I am also Catholic and live by the rule that wasting food is a sin, so I had to suffer through three separate times eating the vile sauce. Mama mia!...was right again.