World title slips from my grasp

Yesterday, I lost my bid to break a world record. After more than six months of a daily grind, it was all for naught.

Around last February, it was brought to my attention that a very long hair was growing out of my arm. It was as shocking to me as it was to my girlfriend. I kind of forgot about it/ignored it, but once in a while, I've checked to see if it's still there. It could easily fall out as I scrub my arms with a washcoth every day in the shower. Somehow, the hair as thin as a, um hair has managed to weather the (shower) storm.

Yesterday, I decided to check what the Guinness record is for an arm hair. Much to my surprise, it was just a tad longer than mine...assuming a "tad" is equal to about three inches. So, how long is my "Olympic-sized" lil feller? It's about 2 3/4 inches. Yes, that's right, Virginia--the world record is 5 3/4 inches.

But I'm not throwing in the (bath) towel yet. I'm going to do some research and see if there isn't some diet and or exercise I can do to help my hairy arm get into the record books. This may be my last shot at greatness, but I won't stoop so low as to start doping to give my fur an unhair unfair advantage.

Wish me luck!

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Q & A's from around the web

I have finally decided to let go of my lover and go back to my husband. Have i done the right thing in giving my lover up and staying in a marriage for the kids' sakes?

Um i dont think it is fair to your kids that you stay in it for them because you could be causing it to be miserable and there could be tention in the home and later on your kids dont know how to love because you didnt know how and you should have thought about your kids before you started cheating on your husband I cant believe that you even wrote about this you are being dishonest to your family and to me you arent helping anyone out except for yourself and you are going to keep this lie up of everything is ok and you were cheating on your husband now you have brought the possiblities of diseases to your marriage because who knows who your "lover" has been sleeping with besides you and who there partners been with and now you want to pretend that you guys are happy for the kids who is this really helping you or the kids?

Editor's note: I nominate this for "Longest Sentence of the Year Award".