Poor people are lazy

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What's wrong with people?

For about the last 7 years, I had been going to a particular gas station regularly. On most occasions, I only put in $20 worth of gas. Unless I'm planning a long trip, this is my modus operandi. When pumping gas, I tend to stop the pump a cent or two before the amount I want, just to make sure I don't go over. Recently, for the first time in at least fifteen years, I wasn't paying close attention and I stopped the pump at $20.04.

I went in to pay, pulled out a stack of 20's, having just gone to the bank, handed the clerk, which I knew to be a partner in the business, $20 and asked him if he wanted the four cents. To my surprise, he said "Yes, please". He did not say, "If you have the change", or "Pay me next time" or any other reasonable thing one might expect from a clerk speaking to a long-time customer. Taken aback, I was left dumbfounded. I knew I didn't have any change, so I peeled off a $20 bill and handed it to him. He willingly gave me $19.96 change rather than opt for any other arrangement.

That was several months ago. Since then, I have avoided going to that particular gas station. The man's actions cost him one of his best customers--over four cents. An amount that I had over my many purchases given him far more than. He has lost my business forever.

Returning from the edge of the abys...and obese

I've been a fan of hers for over 35 years ever since I watched her at the age of fifteen (her age, not mine) on the hit TV series "One Day at a Time". Her sweet looks and the apparent lack of scandal that often follows child stars, kept her close to my heart over the years. It didn't hurt that she had an Italian surname as I do.

I was delighted to "see her again" after being out of the spotlight for, gulp, decades, when she started doing Jenny Craig commercials. Of course, I had no idea that the petite girl had let herself get "very large", and I think I'm being kind when I use that term, but I was pleased as all-get-out to see that she had whooped her disorder and was much slimmer at the time of the commercials.

I have a thing about over-weight people--not a good thing. I can't seem to get past it. It's a personality flaw (mine, not theirs). Sooo, I felt that Bertinelli was still kind of chubby. There's a word I like to use for attractive women who are a bit overweight--"thick". Every time I saw one of her commercials, as much as I squinted, I just couldn't quite shoe-horn her into the "thick" category.

Maybe it was the image that I carried around so long that made the "new" Valerie look to me to be bigger than she really was. Regardless, I got a very pleasant surprise today. I happened on an ad for a People Magazine story about Bertinelli getting into a bikini to celebrate her 49th birthday.

I have another quirk, and again, not a good thing--I keep forgetting how old I am (and look) and catch myself being too critical of others about my age and sometimes even much younger than I. But, I have to admit that this fine lady looks as good in a bikini today as anyone at any age does. She has completely returned from obesity. To have come back around to "thick" would have been terrific, but she has come all the way back to a slim, beautiful, vivacious "girl".

Congratulations, Valerie! Your adoring fans would love to see you on the screen again, big or small (the screen, not your size)!

I sure hope they didn't photoshop her image. A guy with even my poor skills can produce results like this...

Q & A's from around the web

What does it mean if a hotel sales manager position is asking for S.M.E.R.F. sales experience?

They want to know if you have ever sold anything to tiny, little blue people.