Batshit crazy

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Batshit crazy

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Kook hits 300 kph/200 mph on motorcycle

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It's official

I've gone completely around the bend.

Today, when I got near my kitchen garbage container and smelled that awful smell, the first thing I thought was "How nice--tens of millions of microbes are feasting on my refuse". There may still be some hope for me, though, as my second thought was "I wish their farts didn't smell so bad".


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What's wrong with people?

For about the last 7 years, I had been going to a particular gas station regularly. On most occasions, I only put in $20 worth of gas. Unless I'm planning a long trip, this is my modus operandi. When pumping gas, I tend to stop the pump a cent or two before the amount I want, just to make sure I don't go over. Recently, for the first time in at least fifteen years, I wasn't paying close attention and I stopped the pump at $20.04.

I went in to pay, pulled out a stack of 20's, having just gone to the bank, handed the clerk, which I knew to be a partner in the business, $20 and asked him if he wanted the four cents. To my surprise, he said "Yes, please". He did not say, "If you have the change", or "Pay me next time" or any other reasonable thing one might expect from a clerk speaking to a long-time customer. Taken aback, I was left dumbfounded. I knew I didn't have any change, so I peeled off a $20 bill and handed it to him. He willingly gave me $19.96 change rather than opt for any other arrangement.

That was several months ago. Since then, I have avoided going to that particular gas station. The man's actions cost him one of his best customers--over four cents. An amount that I had over my many purchases given him far more than. He has lost my business forever.

Woman faces charge after dishwashing dispute

FORT WORTH, Texas – Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

The woman was arrested Thursday afternoon at the couple's apartment, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported on its Web site.

The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean. Police Lt. Paul Henderson said the woman told the man to leave the apartment, but he refused.

Henderson said the woman then tried to physically remove the man. During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man's right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts, Henderson said.

The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed, police said.

The woman was released from a Mansfield jail after posting a $10,000 bond, jail officials said.

Henderson said the man and woman had lived together for four months.

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I wondered as I read the above:

1. Were the subjects wistfully gazing into each other's eyes, professing their undying love mere weeks before this incident? Days?

2. Shortly after they met had they confided in each other that they believed they had found their soul mate?

3. Did their hearts pound in unison when they decided to move in together?

4. Did they last week tell everyone they knew that they had just got engaged?

5. Would they be getting back together like the incident was nothing at all to be concerned about and say they still love each other?

6. Will the police arrive next time to a body?

7. If they don't resume their relationship, will someone new fall madly in love with the psycho bitch?

8. What does she do if the laundry isn't done?