Seriously Funny Quotes

From Family Guy:

Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.

A very attractive girl

...in the TV commercial for an insurance company says "Call me for a free quote."

What, exactly, is a free quote? Are some insurance companies charging for a quote? Imagine this concept applied to other businesses...

You walk into a candy store, browse around for a minute and then ask:

"How much per pound are these?"

The crotchety, old man says "$8.99".

You say "Thanks" and look around a bit more. You don't see anything that interests you, so you walk toward the door.

"Ahem...that'll be 45 cents, please!"

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You're in the dentist's chair and you mention you've been thinking about getting veneers. He reaches into a drawer and shows you photos of clients who got the work done and gives you a ball park figure. He adds $35 to your invoice.

Next, I'm going to research how much companies who do not give "a free gift" charge for their gifts.