Be sure to stay inside the lines, kiddies

There is a gentle curve in a road near me. Every single time I drive that stretch, one or more drivers cannot manage to stay between the lines. They probably coloured outside the lines as children. Perhaps the Department of Motor Vehicles should be notified of such kids' names and save us all the trouble.



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Lois gets the better of Superman

Toronto-born original Superman artist, Joe Shuster, was supposedly meek and mild mannered like Clark Kent. But he, too, it seems, had a secret identity. Some accounts say that Joe and his co-creator, Jerry Siegel, sold the rights to their ultimate super hero to DC Comics for a mere $130.

To make ends meet, Joe Shuster took to drawing scenes of S&M porn in the same style as characters Clark Kent, Lois Lane, etc. The 16-volume series was titled "Nights of Horror. Now, author Craig Yoe has published an illustrated hardcover covering the story, called Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster (Manda, $27.50). The story surrounding the artist's descent into sadomasochistic pornography is bizarre even as a comic-book tale.

Here's a sample of Joe Shuster's dalliance. Maybe this is the kind of scene Joe had always envisioned Superman and Lois Lane in.

Life in the fast lane

I glanced over at the magazine rack at the supermarket, yesterday, and on the cover of the latest issue of Cosmo, is the following:

Sex that brings you closer:
These moves will light a bonfire in his pants...and in his heart.

And:

What guys want after sex.

My reaction to the first storyline is that I'm getting a sense of why young people seem more confused than at any time in history about the difference between love and sex. I am by no stretch of the imagination a prude--never have been, but in my humble opinion, sex, no matter how great, can never have the lasting and cementing effect that love can on two souls. In fact, I would go so far as to say that spectacular sex early in a relationship seems to have the opposite effect. I'm not sure why--I've never thought to analyze it, but my personal and friends' experiences seem to bear this out.

You've probably heard someone say "All we have in common is great sex." It's doubtful you've ever heard anyone complain "All we have in common is a tremendous love for one another."

This is not to say that you can't have both, but great sex more often follows falling in love than the other way around. Just to clarify, if someone is after no-strings great sex, that's their business. What I'm saying is that I believe magazines like Cosmo are leading naive people into believing that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his pants. I think following such advice will only lead to eventual heartache and pain...even if there are a few mind-blowing orgasms along the way.

As far as the second storyline goes, I thought it was pretty clear to just about everyone over 16 what guys want after sex: to get away from the girl as quickly and as far as possible. Of course, I didn't open the magazine to read the article, but if it contradicts this in any way, it's B.S. There is one caveat to this rule, however. Girls, if you offer to make him a sandwich, he might stay a while. Especially if you tell him he can eat it off your ass.

They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster--the lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind.