If you've been tracking the Jodi Arias murder trial...

Click here to go to most recent posts.

What do you call them?

I know that most people have experienced the situations I am about to describe and that many couples have already discussed them, but I wonder how many have arrived at the conclusions my partner and I have. What I'm talking about are the funny things that happen to a person during and after sex. We have come up with terms for them, even if it took us a while, the main reason being #4 in the list. You'll see what I mean...

1. If you're making love and are in the throes of passion and suddenly realize you need to get a towel down to avoid creating a wet spot, you may find yourself doing what we decided to call "the sex shuffle". This is the synchronous squirming required to move that extra foot or so closer to the night stand so that the towel can be reached. A more tense version occurs if you don't notice until it's "too late". This brings me to the second term, already alluded to here in #1.

2.Trying to slide the towel underneath...whoever...is...underneath is the "sex squirm".

3. The next phrase I will describe is also chronologically next. More often than not, when one has completed a vigorous session of lovemaking, there are things one needs to do or feels like doing such as cleaning/grooming, getting a snack or getting a drink. Have you ever noticed that if you get off the bed immediately, you tend to be unsteady on your feet? Sometimes, your legs almost give out on you. Other times, you will walk into something, stub your toe, or trip. This is known as "the sex stagger". I recommend that you turn the lights on (What? They're on?!) before attempting to make a mad dash to the refrigerator.

4. The last effect is the fog your brain seems to be in immediately following sex. This can last anywhere from a couple of minutes (probably partially responsible for the sex stagger) to the time you fall asleep. Meaningful conversation should not be attempted and for God's sake, do not make any plans, promises or resolutions during this period we call "the sex stupor". It is, however, a very good time to be silly and catch up on the laughs you may not have had enough of lately.

There you have them. Please feel free to comment/share your own experiences or terms/descriptions you've discussed with your partner.




Click here to go to most recent posts.

Israeli commandos cleared of wrongdoing

An Israeli military investigation into the raid on a flotilla of Gaza-bound aid ships, has concluded that "the use of live fire" that killed nine activists "was justified".

The investigation, conducted by an army committee, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the officers involved in the May 31 raid.

The team determined that the Navy Commando soldiers operated properly, with professionalism, bravery and resourcefulness and that the commanders exhibited correct decision making," the Israeli army said in a statement on Monday.

Full Story.

In other news, the AIG probe into the company's massive losses caused by the creation of worthless mortgage-based assets which required huge infusions of taxpayer money to bail out the company, has found that the executives' actions were justified.

The study, undertaken by the AIG board of directors, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the principles involved in the scheme.

The board determined that the executives operated properly, with professionalism, creativity and resourcefulness and that they exhibited "correct decision making".

The Vatican announced today that after examining the evidence regarding twenty-three priests accused of sexually molesting 179 young boys, it was clear the clerics had carried out their duties with honour and selflessness and have all been invited to Rome for "a major shindig" which the Pontiff himself said would "rock this town".


Click here to go to most recent posts.

Born that way

Even very young children exhibit innate characteristics of their sex. Here are a couple of examples of such behaviours.




Click here to go to most recent posts.

Romance is in the air

I was perusing vacation deals and came across the following review for a hotel in Cuba:

The hotel location is not good. There is lot of noise of cocks and cars. But with this price, I think that is good enough.

Now, I know that some women can be loud during moments of intimacy, but for a man to make "lot of noise" with his er, um, equipment, one can only assume that it must be heavy equipment. Perhaps it's fitted to give off that warning sound each time he backs up. I can see how that might be a bit disconcerting. You could be fearful a truck is backing up right into your room.

The review.

Click here to go to most recent posts.

Q ands A's from around the web

Is sex is important in a relationship....For pre-marital sex????affirmative side...?

It's not as important as being able to communicate your thoughts clearly. WTF are you blabbering about?

Ripped from the headlines

From an Edmonton, Canada news story...

An Edmonton woman caught on video sexually abusing her baby and performing sex acts on a poodle was locked up yesterday after failing to show up for sentencing.

The 30-year-old, who cannot be named to protect her daughter's identity, also got a tongue-lashing from a judge.

A rather bad choice of words, wouldn't you say?

The story continues...

In another video, she is seen performing sex acts on a pet poodle. The dog kept running away.

How scuzzy looking do you need to be for a dog to reject you???

Story.

Lois gets the better of Superman

Toronto-born original Superman artist, Joe Shuster, was supposedly meek and mild mannered like Clark Kent. But he, too, it seems, had a secret identity. Some accounts say that Joe and his co-creator, Jerry Siegel, sold the rights to their ultimate super hero to DC Comics for a mere $130.

To make ends meet, Joe Shuster took to drawing scenes of S&M porn in the same style as characters Clark Kent, Lois Lane, etc. The 16-volume series was titled "Nights of Horror. Now, author Craig Yoe has published an illustrated hardcover covering the story, called Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster (Manda, $27.50). The story surrounding the artist's descent into sadomasochistic pornography is bizarre even as a comic-book tale.

Here's a sample of Joe Shuster's dalliance. Maybe this is the kind of scene Joe had always envisioned Superman and Lois Lane in.

Life in the fast lane

I glanced over at the magazine rack at the supermarket, yesterday, and on the cover of the latest issue of Cosmo, is the following:

Sex that brings you closer:
These moves will light a bonfire in his pants...and in his heart.

And:

What guys want after sex.

My reaction to the first storyline is that I'm getting a sense of why young people seem more confused than at any time in history about the difference between love and sex. I am by no stretch of the imagination a prude--never have been, but in my humble opinion, sex, no matter how great, can never have the lasting and cementing effect that love can on two souls. In fact, I would go so far as to say that spectacular sex early in a relationship seems to have the opposite effect. I'm not sure why--I've never thought to analyze it, but my personal and friends' experiences seem to bear this out.

You've probably heard someone say "All we have in common is great sex." It's doubtful you've ever heard anyone complain "All we have in common is a tremendous love for one another."

This is not to say that you can't have both, but great sex more often follows falling in love than the other way around. Just to clarify, if someone is after no-strings great sex, that's their business. What I'm saying is that I believe magazines like Cosmo are leading naive people into believing that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his pants. I think following such advice will only lead to eventual heartache and pain...even if there are a few mind-blowing orgasms along the way.

As far as the second storyline goes, I thought it was pretty clear to just about everyone over 16 what guys want after sex: to get away from the girl as quickly and as far as possible. Of course, I didn't open the magazine to read the article, but if it contradicts this in any way, it's B.S. There is one caveat to this rule, however. Girls, if you offer to make him a sandwich, he might stay a while. Especially if you tell him he can eat it off your ass.

They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster--the lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind.

Q & A's from around the web

I hooked up with this girl from a party last week, and we started to sleep on the same bed. Since we don't know each other very well, we haven't had real "sex" yet. But we had hours of deep intense kissing, and body rubbing with underwears on. Is this a safe way to pleasure?

If you want to be 100% sure it is safe, viedotape a session and send it to me for careful analysis.

Encounters

No, it's not what you think. I just realized I'm late with the rest of this post from a couple of days ago.

My idea is this: Rather than place an ankle bracelet that allows police to track sexual predators on parole, etc., why not equip children with a simple device that signals them when a known paedophile is in the vicinity? Also or alternatively, the same signal can be received by a parent or anyone carrying a cell phone. The man's privacy is upheld since only his wherabouts is indicated and children are kept safe. It's a win/win situation. Carriers, politicians and police services, are you listening?

A Page out of the history books

I've never been a fan of Bettie Page. Hell, I hardly knew who she was--just heard her name bandied about. If you've never heard of her, she was what used to be referred to as a pin-up girl. That was back when newspapers didn't display women's breasts in all their glory and you had to buy (or sneak a peek at) what used to be called a smut magazine. Hell, in "the olden days", there were smut magazines that didn't even show nipples! It was a much different world from today. Miss Bettie Page was also one of the early girls appearing in Playboy.

Just yesterday, I inadvertently learnt she died in 2008 and being the inquisitive type, I decided to do some research. This intensive work consisted of doing a Google image search of her name. I didn't find her to be overly attractive, but then, who was in the 50's? As I pored over dozens of Bettie's pix, one of them stopped me in my tracks.

Although she is featured in provocative poses and in various stages of undress, only in this one particular photo did she have the slightest effect on my er, um prurient interest. She bears an uncanny resemblance to a girl I've had a crush on since I was a child. In fact, the apple of my eye is every bit as attractive today as she was way back then. See if you don't agree...

Veronica Lodge then and now:




Bettie Page then:




Side by side:

Is there not a striking resemblance? Further coincidence is that "Betty" (different spelling) is Veronica's best friend's name. As it turns out, the creator of the Archie comic book characters, Bob Montana, fashioned Archie's girlfriend around Veronica Lake, a popular actress back in the 40's. I wonder if Lake had a lodge...

The Archies

Q & A's from around the web

How long should I let them go at it for? I put my male hamster with the female over an hour ago and they are still having sex. How much longer should I let them go for?

It depends. How much money did he put on her dresser?

Q & A's from around the web

What can I use to discipline my wife that won't leave any scars or bruises?

Your tongue.

Q & A's from around the web

How is todays schooling different from 50 years ago ?

nothing different

Jews are considered humans now... anyone that notices them thieving is considered a racist.

They used to like, teach ya stuff, man.

they didn't go around killling each other and raping and having sex in school.

Q & A's from around the web

What is the difference between a pre-op and post-op transexual?

About six inches.

Britney Spears caught nude by hidden camera

An amateur photographer has made public explicit photos of...

Sorry, guys...this is just an experiment to see if scandalous keywords increase hits.

Q & A's from around the web

If you're in your car stopped in traffic, and look over and find a girl staring at you, and then when you look at her, she smiles, does that mean she wants you?

Yeah, she does. And $80.

How much more dirty can politics get?

The following ad has been playing on TV more times than I can count the last few weeks.



It seems to me that if politicians put half as much effort into serving the people as they put into digging up dirt and defaming their opposition, things would be a lot better for all of us. I've never understood why they get away with the slanderous messages they bombard us with. They never seem to get sued. I'm sure that at least some of these messages are true but either way, they are scumbags for libelling someone so viciously or else they are scumbags for having done what they're accused of. I can't wait until one of them is "exposed" as a paedophile or necrophiliac.

Q & A's from around the web

can you get pregnant while having sex in a hot tub?

It depends. Were your eggs hard-boiled at the time? Were his?