Portrait of an alleged terrorist training camp

Not only does Canada produce more comics per capita than any other country, apparently, even alleged Canadian terrorists are a funny bunch.

A less nefarious picture of an alleged terrorist training camp emerged Thursday, when a Brampton court heard attendees were forced to sleep in a van because of sub-zero temperatures, participated in military marches to avoid hypothermia and squealed when a field mouse ran into a tent.

The portrait of an “utterly disorganized” camp, surfaced as defence lawyer Michael Moon cross-examined police agent Mubin Shaikh, who infiltrated the alleged homegrown terror cell in late 2005.

Court was told that when members of the group attended a December 2005 camp in Washago, Ont., some were terrified a fictional pack of wolves was stalking them, two men cut themselves chopping wood and one nearly lit himself ablaze while pouring fuel onto the campfire.

“These guys were lucky to get out of Washago alive,” Moon suggested to Shaikh, who is testifying at the trial of Fahim Ahmad, Steven Chand and Asad Ansari, members of the so-called Toronto 18, which was busted up by police on June 2, 2006.

Shaikh, the only one who had the foresight to bring a winter tent, said he never believed the campers were at risk of death because they could sleep in their vehicles. But, he testified, “there was a real risk of hypothermia.”

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Lois gets the better of Superman

Toronto-born original Superman artist, Joe Shuster, was supposedly meek and mild mannered like Clark Kent. But he, too, it seems, had a secret identity. Some accounts say that Joe and his co-creator, Jerry Siegel, sold the rights to their ultimate super hero to DC Comics for a mere $130.

To make ends meet, Joe Shuster took to drawing scenes of S&M porn in the same style as characters Clark Kent, Lois Lane, etc. The 16-volume series was titled "Nights of Horror. Now, author Craig Yoe has published an illustrated hardcover covering the story, called Secret Identity: The Fetish Art of Superman's Co-creator Joe Shuster (Manda, $27.50). The story surrounding the artist's descent into sadomasochistic pornography is bizarre even as a comic-book tale.

Here's a sample of Joe Shuster's dalliance. Maybe this is the kind of scene Joe had always envisioned Superman and Lois Lane in.

I see unfunny people

They don't know they're unfunny. They just walk around like regular people.

I recently watched a TV show that purported to list the "top ten most amazing comedy teams". When they reached number seven in the count-down and failed to mention even one of the true best comedy teams, I wondered if a) they were only listing people who were still alive, and or b) were saving the best for the top honours. But then they mentioned Jack Lemon and Walter Mathau (both deceased). I squirmed uneasily and continued watching.

They mentioned two or three people whom I had never heard of as one half of several teams and when they chose Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi as the number one team, I almost had a heart attack. I wish I had had one before they assaulted my senses with their ridiculous list.

With all due respect to some of their choices, how can anyone who has a modicum of understanding and exposure to comedy exclude ALL of the following comedy teams?

Abbot and Costello
Laurel and Hardy
The Three Stooges
The Marx Brothers
The Smothers Brothers
Martin and Lewis

The kicker to this sick story is that in describing one of the teams, the narrator compared them to "a modern-day Laurel and Hardy". If such a comparison is so flattering, how do you justify not having Laurel and Hardy in the list??? Do you realize how many people are involved in putting together a TV show? Hundreds. And this is the best all those comedy geniuses could come up with? Puhlease.

If you haven't seen this, there's still time to win the "grand" prize. Submit your guess, today!

A Page out of the history books

I've never been a fan of Bettie Page. Hell, I hardly knew who she was--just heard her name bandied about. If you've never heard of her, she was what used to be referred to as a pin-up girl. That was back when newspapers didn't display women's breasts in all their glory and you had to buy (or sneak a peek at) what used to be called a smut magazine. Hell, in "the olden days", there were smut magazines that didn't even show nipples! It was a much different world from today. Miss Bettie Page was also one of the early girls appearing in Playboy.

Just yesterday, I inadvertently learnt she died in 2008 and being the inquisitive type, I decided to do some research. This intensive work consisted of doing a Google image search of her name. I didn't find her to be overly attractive, but then, who was in the 50's? As I pored over dozens of Bettie's pix, one of them stopped me in my tracks.

Although she is featured in provocative poses and in various stages of undress, only in this one particular photo did she have the slightest effect on my er, um prurient interest. She bears an uncanny resemblance to a girl I've had a crush on since I was a child. In fact, the apple of my eye is every bit as attractive today as she was way back then. See if you don't agree...

Veronica Lodge then and now:




Bettie Page then:




Side by side:

Is there not a striking resemblance? Further coincidence is that "Betty" (different spelling) is Veronica's best friend's name. As it turns out, the creator of the Archie comic book characters, Bob Montana, fashioned Archie's girlfriend around Veronica Lake, a popular actress back in the 40's. I wonder if Lake had a lodge...

The Archies

We lost a good one

I have just learned of the passing of Bernie Mac. What a shock. The man was only 50 years old--younger than I, when he succumbed to pneumonia in hospital this past Saturday. Many people are funny, as Bernie most definitely was, but Bernie was a genuinely nice guy, born into poverty in Chicago, did well for himself, chose not to go to Hollywood and was married for 30 years. RIP, Bernie