Ripped from the headlines

Amazing research!

I had  no idea that monkeys were capable of conducting such complex research. We need for these monkeys to replace the ones we have in pubic office.


Note: Yeah, that was a typo. It should have read "pubic orifice". I ran out of White-out.

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The future is here

If you're at all squeamish, you might not want to view this video.




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I love Calderon, but I couldn't resist

Click on image to enlarge.






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Q & A's from around the web

What tv show character are you most like?

Tarzan. I keep spanking my monkey.



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Spank the monkey!

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"

Q & A's from around the web

If you were to stage a monkey knife fight what would be the name of your champion chimp?

Furious George

Chimp Norris

Monkeys reward friends and relatives

WASHINGTON – For capuchin monkeys, it seems, it's better to both give and receive, than just to receive. At least, that's what researchers at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center at Emory University in Atlanta have found.

Monkeys were given a choice of receiving a food reward, or receiving a food reward and also having another monkey receive food.

When paired with relative or "friend" the monkeys primarily went for the double reward, known as the "prosocial" choice, researchers led by Frans de Waal report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"The fact the capuchins predominantly selected the prosocial option must mean seeing another monkey receive food is satisfying or rewarding for them," said de Waal.

But the monkeys weren't so generous with strangers, choosing the so-called "selfish" option instead.

"We believe prosocial behavior is empathy based. Empathy increases in both humans and animals with social closeness, and in our study, closer partners made more prosocial choices. They seem to care for the welfare of those they know," de Waal said in a statement.

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What I find interesting about this study is that my ex- would often get herself a snack and not offer anything to her mate or even her children. Of course, she wasn't a capuchin monkey...she was a baboon.