The Horror Part II

I forgot to mention in Part I that they also gave me a couple of injections in the abdomen, just for fun. I also forgot to mention the joy of not being able to wash/clean/shave/shampoo very well if at all while you have an IV stuck in your wrist or the inside of your elbow.

Before you have time to get over "Angiogram Day", it's "Angioplasty Day". I've never been in an ambulance, but I imagine the ride is much smoother than the transport vehicle used to shuttle me to and from the hospital specializing in performing angioplasty procedures. It didn't bother me very much on the way there, but coming back was a pain in the...back. I'll explain in a bit.

An angioplasty is a procedure to repair damage that shows up on an angiogram. It is done in two possible ways:

a) A balloon is inflated (and subsequently deflated) at a site where an artery is restricted in order to allow better blood flow.

b) A stent (tube/sleeve) is positioned at a restricted site to prevent it from future blockage.

I had one of each. You may be awake (as I was) during the procedure and the pain in the chest is very similar to a heart attack. I felt it for about the next 24 hours.

As soon as they finished, a nurse came by and said "Oops" and proceeded to describe the egg-sized balloon in my groin that had formed because of some problem with removal of the catheter. She managed to resolve this not uncommon occurrence by pressing on it with all her weight for about the next twenty minutes. Do I need to mention that it wasn't pleasant? Ouch.

Now, began the four hours of lying perfectly still on your back. As they rolled me out to the transport vehicle, my back was already starting to hurt. The bumpy ride back to the original hospital through rush hour traffic wasn't pleasant or scenic as all I could see in my position were light standards. As we neared (I asked) our destination, I was silently praying that the pain in my back that was now slowly gathering at my kidney just like the day before, did not reach Level 10 before they got me to my room.

I was in bed with only minutes to spare before I had to ask for a shot of morphine for the pain. Two more days of misery were endured before I was discharged.

You do not want to go through such an experience. It doesn't help, either that I now must take five different medications daily at a cost of about $450 per month for the rest of my life.

While going between hospitals, I spoke to the attendants about the falling average age of heart attack victims. They confirmed that large numbers of people in their thirties and even some in their twenties are falling victim to coronary disease and heart attacks. Obesity is one contributing factor. Today's sedentary lifestyles that keep people glued to TV and or a PC instead of getting out and exercising is another.

Heed my advice. You don't need to make a wholesale change today. Take small steps. Reduce your fat intake. Take more frequent walks. Eat more fruit and veggies. If you think it'll put a crimp in your lifestyle, you might want to consider that a heart attack will put a much bigger crimp in it...if you're lucky.

I just realized that I left out one of the best parts of my ordeal. The morning I was to check out, for no apparent reason, my nose started bleeding. I may have blown it--not sure, but there certainly was no picking involved. Anyway, I used a few kleenex, tried the old plug up the nose trick, but to no avail. I finally call the nurse and she gives me more and more kleenex, and then a cloth with cold water, advised me to tilt my head back, etc. Still, it won't stop. They wheel me down to emerg, a doctor comes in and proceeds to shove some kind of thick wadding so deep inside my nasal cavity that it feels like it's half way down my throat. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. I couldn't breath well, speak well, swallow well--it almost felt like I was choking. I didn't even bother to tell you how it hurt when he unexpectedly shoved it in in one fell swoop. I imagine it to be comparable to having a large penis shoved all at once into a virgin. Unfortunately, for me, I didn't get an orgasm out of the deal. Hell, I didn't get dinner or a movie.

 

I ask how long I must endure this misery and he thinks for a second and then says "Come back Monday". It was Friday. That was the longest long weekend I ever spent. It was driving me crazy. Imagine having a partial birth and then going home for three days before coming back to deliver the thing stuck between your legs.

 

Monday finally comes and I'm in the hospital waiting to have the demon exorcised from my face. How was I to know that the evil lodged in my head would hurt five times more exiting than it did entering? Yowsa! I guess the batting had secured itself in there to the blood and the walls of my nasal cavity and as the wicked snake was slowly pulled out, it did not want to let go. The relief I felt when it was finally out was similar to that spent feeling after a rigorous lovemaking session. But again, without the pleasure.

The horror...the horror

First, I want to apologize for sporadic postings. And further apologies for the lack of lighthearted material. There's not too much humour in serious medical problems. Well, maybe if you dislike the victim. And if that's the case, here, I'm glad to have provided a few grins.

A lot of people totally disregard the information about healthy living generally and heart health specifically. I was one of them--even if I was doing well in recent years. As boring as this subject may be, I beseech you to read on. I won't tell you how painful a heart attack is. There's nothing new there. What I want to explain is that the aftermath, at least in my case, was far, far worse than the symptoms that took me to the emergency room in the first place.

You may be tough enough to withstand a mild or medium heart attack standing on your head. In fact, I endured mine for a second day before heading to the hospital, as I wasn't sure the pain was heart related at first. But everything that comes after arriving at the hospital is enough to make a grown man cry.

So, I'm having chest pains that keep coming in waves, going from discomfort to fairly substantial pain. Soon after arriving at the hospital, they take my vitals (BP and ECG), and my BP was very high (186 over 120) but I guess the ECG did not show conclusive evidence of a coronary problem. That would explain why they made me wait three full hours before I saw a doctor. Another round of vitals and a blood test shows that my BP was now a ridiculous 205 over 141. If you're unfamiliar with the scale, normal readings are about 120 over 80.

I won't go into the ugly details of the hellish week that followed, but I do want to give you a small taste:

Every 8 hours they poked me to take blood, anywhere from 2 to 6 vials each time. Sometimes, it took as many as 3 tries to get a good insertion. 3 or 4 times they moved the IV lead to a different vein. For the first 2-3 days, I was on an IV drip. They maintained an IV lead until minutes before I was discharged "just in case".

I was on a heart monitor the entire time. For a couple of days, I had to pee into a urinal on my bed. The rest of the time I had to get disconnected before I could drag my tired ass to the bathroom.

Sleeping was almost impossible.

Constipation was yet another discomfort.

Honestly, on about the second day, I was ready to die and came close to signing myself out. Of course, a doctor heard of my request and came by to tell me that he has the power to hold me if he had reason to believe I would do harm to myself. I guess leaving the hospital without treatment for a heart attack is tantamount to doing yourself harm.

The food wasn't of great quality to begin with, but when my appetite returned, the coronary care unit menu was enough to starve you. Breakfast alternated between a single piece of whole wheat toast and a muffin.

Now, we're getting to the fun part. I was shaved in the groin area by a nurse. If that's not your idea of fun, maybe having a catheter stuck into an artery in your groin and pushed all the way up to your heart and spraying basically a poison dye so that they can take x-rays of your major heart arteries is. They give you some vile-tasting stuff that I feel is the worst tasting crud I have ever had the displeasure to swallow, that is supposed to protect your kidneys from the dye. The best part is yet to come.

You need to lay flat on your back without making the slightest movement, especially to the leg they used for the angiogram, for a full four hours. That would be difficult enough under the best conditions, but the pain in my lower back slowly increased and then went to my kidney. I asked the nurse for some pain reliever which she brought and I took, but the pain increased faster than the pills could take effect and about 2-3 minutes later, I literally whimpered that I couldn't stand the pain. She came and administered morphine into my IV drip. While there was a slight improvement almost immediately, the full pain did not subside until about 15 minutes later at which time, gratefully, precious sleep came.

I didn't mean for this post to be so long. I'll give a few more highlights probably tomorrow and then explain the reason for posting all this.

How much?

How much would the following cost?

2 emergency room visits
30 blood pressure tests
20 blood extractions
60 blood tests
20 electro-cardio grams
2 angioplasty procedures--one stent implant
1 nasal packing procedure, subsequent removal
24/7 nursing care for 1 week
7 days and nights in hospital
1 nasal swab analysis
1 rectal swab analysis
10 consultations with various doctors, including cardiologists
30 pills of various sorts (one of which is $10 a pop)
transportation back and forth between two hospitals
3 visits with a psychiatrist
follow-up visit with family doctor
follow-up visit with cardiologist

I probably missed something, but the above is enough to make my point.

Answer:
It depends on where you live.

For the 75 million Americans who have little or no health insurance, the above costs associated with an "average" heart attack might run over $100,000. I have to estimate the cost because as a card-holding communist of Canada, the hospital did not present me with an invoice. My comrades paid a few cents apiece to cover the entire cost just as I have been doing through my taxes for anyone else who has been unfortunate enough to have experienced a heart attack. The thing is, I never missed whatever part of my taxes went to paying for other people's medical costs. I wouldn't want anyone to be saddled with costs like this. It's enough to give you a heart attack.

To my American friends: I hope you all have insurance and I wish you all good health.

By the way, my son (living in Dallas) told me this evening that Obama has levied a huge tax on tobacco. It was enough for my son to vow to quit smoking as soon as his current supply runs out. Yes, we can!

Apologies

to all my reader.

I hope you understand and forgive my extended absence considering that it was a heart attack that kept me away. I arrived hjome just 30 minutes ago after driving myself to the hospital a week ago. I have a lot to catch up on in the coming days--getting meds, paying bills, seeing docs, etc., so I'm not sure how much time I'll have for writing here. But the blog will go on...whether you like it or not.

Good health to you all.

Take this job and shove it!

This is not the time to make such a rash statement. You may not get another one for some time. So, for those of you lucky enough to still be employed, here are some helpful hints on how to hold onto your job. They are presented in a light-hearted manner, but they are sound advice, just the same. Unfortunately, you'll have to watch an ad first.

Q & A's from around the web

Witch rrr the TOP 10 MOST USEFUL English words to use?

Can I get more chips and beer? Where is the bathroom?

Editor's note: Uhh...forget it.

Customer service adventure

Thank you for visiting our Member Services Area.
A customer service representative will be with you soon.
Welcome to live help, my name's Bob, how may I help you?

Bob: Hello
Bob: how can I help you?
Vince: hi
Vince: I got an e-mail from TigerGaming about the account switch...
Vince: It said that as a former PokerInCanada member, I would be given a $15 bonus as soon as I made my first deposit...
Vince: It never came.
Bob: have you already made your deposit?
Vince: yes
Bob: May I have your sign in name and email address please?
Vince: I entered it before the chat started.
Bob: if you want me to assist you, I need your info
Bob: May I have your sign in name and email address please?
Vince: xxx
Vince: xxx@xxx
Bob: when did you make the deposit?
Vince: About 20 mins ago.
Bob: one moment please while I check your account
Vince: Why ask for the info twice? If you want to be snarky, you can say good-bye to the business that I've been giving you for years.
Bob: sir some people put in wrong information. we need to verify it.
Bob: do you still want me to assist you?
Vince: I should think so. You owe me some money.
You must make a lot of people angry.: You should get your chat software fixed. It seems to have switched my name with the last sentence I typed.
You must make a lot of people angry.: Here's a suggestion...
You must make a lot of people angry.: Check the original information the user enters and if it's wrong, ask again.
Bob: the money has been added to your account
You must make a lot of people angry.: Thank-you.
You must make a lot of people angry.: Have a nice day.

There's something in the air

There must be toxicity building in the air above Canada. Canadians seem to have developed a tolerance for it since there have been no accounts of us acting strange or demented. I mean no more than usual. But clearly something is affecting visitors to this country causing them to act in bizarre ways.

How else can one explain last Wednesday's Britney Spears debacle in Vancouver where she walked off the stage without explanation fifteen minutes into her performance? Ten minutes after her unceremonious departure, it was announced that the excessive smoke in the venue was the reason cited for the booze-drinking, drug-taking, party-girl's exit. She didn't return for almost a half hour before continuing the show, but it later became clear that the highly toxic Canadian air was still affecting her mind. At the end of the show, the lovely Ms. Spears implored her audience to "Drive safe. Don't smoke weed! Rock out with your cocks out!"

On the same day, 2,000 miles away another visitor to Canada was even more severely affected by the mysterious "devil air" that has permeated the whole country. Billy Bob Thornton was doing a radio interview in Toronto for CBC. He became incensed that...what the hey, watch it and judge for yourself whether he was acting under the influence of some horrible unseen force.



One day after the interview, the band was playing a date at Toronto's Massey Hall and BBT was strangely compelled to make a reference to said interview, only to be jeered by the crowd. Days later, it was announced that BBT's band cancelled the remaining Canadian tour dates. I'll keep an eye out for any other odd behaviour by visitors to Canada and keep you apprised.

Usury by any other name...

The Muslims are laughing at us. Not all Muslims--I'm sure some are just feeling vindicated. What amuses them so? The fact that we've gotten ourselves into this tremendous economic problem. Of course, it all stems from the credit markets. And I don't need to explain to you how large corporations have fallen while others are teetering and already millions of people have lost either or both their house and their job.

What has this to do with Muslims? In Islam, it is a sin to charge interest or pay interest. If you've ever wondered why so many Muslims live two or three families in a house, now you know. Unlike the rest of the world, they can't borrow the money they need to purchase a home. They have, however, come up with various ways to get themselves into expensive propositions like home ownership without using credit.

I'm writing about this because I just heard that some lending institutions are using predatory interest rates as a way of boosting their bottom line. What do I mean when I say "predatory"? Would you believe 30% per annum!?

Do I have any grasp at all on how big finance works? First, they gave money to people who didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of repaying them. Smart move. Then, when those people actually defaulted on their loans and mortgages, the banks almost stopped lending altogether. How did they expect to make money without lending? Now, we hear about exorbitant rates being charged. I'd like to know how many people who can actually afford to pay such high rates are willing to take on more debt considering their job is subject to being lost at any time?

I don't know why, but I keep getting surprised by the moves that the supposedly brightest minds, individually and as a group, keep screwing up the world royally. I should be used to it by now. From CEO's of auto companies to the titans of the financial sector, to presidents of powerful countries, we see ineptitude that dwarfs anything even that of an average person. But I digress...

Before "retiring", I had many friends and colleagues who were Muslim, and one in particular was a very good friend and was also one of the less "westernized" among them. On many aspects of Islam which we discussed at great lengths, I somewhat agreed, if not whole-heartedly, were good practises. The taking and paying of interest I hadn't been sure of, but given the mess that all the brainiacs in the credit markets have put the whole world in, there's now no doubt in my mind that it is a decidedly bad thing. The frenzy of unabated consumption driven by virtually unlimited credit has caused many ills to individuals, society and the environment long before the credit crunch occurred. The true brilliant minds have been warning about it's unsustainability for some time...and as usual, few were listening.

How I feel about bankers.

Happy Easter!

I wish you all good health, happiness, peace and prosperity.

Q & A's from around the web

If my girlfriend is talking a lot of sh** and being disrespectful, is it wrong if I pop her one in the mouth?

Editor's note: I'm sure the above question was meant in jest, but some of the (serious) answers are frightening.

Not at all. Women need to be put in their place from time to time. They try to act like they can do whatever they want at times. A good punch in face with make her respect you, and also be more horny for you.

Why dont you say "honey please be respectful". That should work.

Only rappers can do that. You'll have to re-phrase your question in a rhyming format where every other word has to be censored.

um yes if someone is being mean,disrespectful u cant just pop them what u should do is dump her and go out with sum one who can respect u...like me.

Editor's note: Fascinating. The above girl wants to get involved with someone who would consider punching her in the mouth if he gets annoyed. The following guys are actually giving the would-be abuser tips.

I'd advise you to do like the cops and put a phonebook to her face before beating her to avoid leaving marks.

maybe just once... they won't put you away for life for somethin like that. but on a serious tip, don't. espscially if she's ghetto because she might just show you a thing or two

Communication 101

The fight against obesity is alive and well. They're taking it to youngsters in school so that it can be controlled or prevented before it takes a firm grip on people. From an article in Canadian newspaper The Globe and Mail:

Schools and chain restaurants should be required to post caloric information beside menu items to arm consumers with the knowledge needed to make healthier choices as part of the growing battle against obesity, the Ontario Medical Association proposed yesterday.

The doctors' group wants school pupils to be able to see the number of calories in a slice of pizza, a basket of French fries or a ham-and-cheese sandwich listed beside the price of the item.

It's critical to educate young people about their bodies' energy requirements and the nutritional content of food, particularly as childhood obesity reaches epidemic proportions in Canada and many other developed nations, the OMA said.

I'm afraid I don't think that would work. I just don't see kids paying much attention to a seemingly meaningless number on a food item. I have a better idea. Why not indicate the relative calories in products using visual aids? I suggest something like the following scheme posted on packaging, menus or walls (click to enlarge):




Now, that's language students can easily understand and appreciate!

You may be already be a winner!

Okay, there's nothing to win here, but read on and you might save a few hundred bucks...

I switched to a new car insurance company a few years ago after my then current company raised my rate to a level that seemed to me unreasonable. I switched to CAA since I was a member (I believe it is the same as AAA in the U.S.), and got an unbelievably lower rate. If memory serves, it was in the order of $450 per year less.

It's up for renewal next month and although the new rate isn't unreasonable, I was thinking of maybe checking out Grey Power whose ads (in this area) can be seen everywhere. It is for safe drivers over 50 and promises savings of $300 or more. I mentioned this to my daughter as we were driving one day and she told me about (How about that--a "Grey Power" commercial has just come on TV at this very moment.) a website that will do the insurance comparison shopping for you.

As soon as I got home, I went to the Kanetix website, entered my information in about two minutes and immediately got quotes from about seven insurance companies. There was only one quote that was lower than the one from CAA, and get this--they provided one from CAA, also, and it was right on to the dollar as the one on my renewal form. The sole lower quote was only about $13 less--not enough for me to go to the trouble of changing. Just so you know, the Grey Power quote was exactly $299 more than what my insurance company is asking.

There are two sister websites--one for Canada and one for the United States. You just enter your Zip/Postal code and off you go.

Click here if you are a resident of Canada.

Click here if you are a resident of the U.S.

I hope it saves you some money. Let us know how it goes.

Corner Gas

The Canadian comedy series, "Corner Gas", is airing it's final episode next Monday, April 13th after a very successful six-year run. How successful has it been? The producers managed to get Kiefer Sutherland, son of Canadian acting icon Donald Sutherland, and star of the drama series "24", to do a cameo on the show...



But the show had even bigger fish to fry. The current Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, took the opportunity to soften his "starchy" image...



We Canadians take our comedy very seriously. Yesterday, the Premier of Saskatchewan, where the show is filmed, proclaimed April 13th "Corner Gas Day". The show, set in the fictional town of Dog River, was shot in Regina and the village of Rouleau, 70 kilometres southwest of the city.

The producers had a "Pump out a poster" contest for a chance to win some neat stuff, including a signed script from the show, by designing a commemorative poster. I submitted an entry, but unfortunately, I guess they didn't like the subject matter. Here's my submission (click to enlarge):




And here's a few "show-related" items you may be interested in purchasing (to help my cause):

Item 1

Item 2

Item 3

Q & A's from around the web

If someone has their period on hotel sheets or there are other nasty things that may have been on those sheets, do they throw them out or do they bleach them like crazy?

They use industrial strength washers along with plenty of bleach and or detergent and wash in water as close to boiling as you can get followed by drying at super high temps. If there's something on them that still ain't dead by then, they shoot it.

Death week

Time was that when a person was shot during the commission of a crime, it was seen as a tragedy and a reflection of a failure of society that anyone would feel the need to stoop so low no matter what the reason. These days, shootings are so commonplace, that more often than not, we pay less attention to them than the other parts of the news. In effect, they have all but stopped being interesting to us.

Furthermore, we're seeing a huge increase in the number of shootings that stem not from the commission of a crime, but for the sole reason of emotional upset, be it rage, depression, mental illness or any number of other maladies that seem to be much more pervasive in society today than decades ago. And much of the time, they are mass killings.

THE WEEK OF SHOOTINGS

Sat 4 April: Gunman kills three policemen in Pittsburgh before being wounded and captured.

Fri 3 April: Gunman kills 13 people at an immigration centre in Binghamton, New York state, then apparently shoots himself.

Sun 29 March: Gunman kills seven elderly residents and a nurse at a nursing home in Carthage, North Carolina, then is shot and wounded himself.

Sun 29 March: Man kills five relatives and himself in Santa Clara, California.

Just this past week in the U.S., 30 people from four mass shootings are dead. What do you think? As a society, are we not doing enough to help people who may be susceptible to dangerous, emotional outbursts? The latest incident supposedly happened because the perpetrator had recently lost his job. Should we be expecting more such incidents as increasing numbers of people face tremendous financial hardships from the current economic downturn? Is this trend (mass shootings) a manifestation of the breakdown of the traditional family? Are too many people feeling isolated and like they have no one to go to for understanding and support? I would really like to hear from people. It gets tiring doing all the talking around here. I know you're out there--let me know what you think.

Times have changed

I was thinking of my late father today and was reminded of something that would probably be seen by most people today as a bit bizarre. Actually, if memory serves, my friends thought it was strange even back then in the 60' and 70's.

My dad worked as a labourer in construction most of his life and many times he would come home late and always exhausted. That's not the bizarre part. When dad came home, he was (obviously) kinda dirty. Oftentimes, he would plunk himself on a chair in the basement (we had a finished basement with a walkout) and call out to us.

It was an understood signal that one of us, us being the two younger siblings, or mom if she wasn't too busy, was being summoned to go and wash my father's feet. At the best of times my dad would have had a hard time washing his own feet since he was short and stocky. Bending over after working hard all day was an effort he didn't need. We even used to unlace and pull his construction boots off much of the time.

It didn't seem an extraordinary thing to us. Even then, I knew that the washing of someone's feet was performed in Biblical times as a show of respect, and our whole family having come from the "Old World" and being Catholic, we were steeped in tradition and the old ways. If Jesus could wash a friend's feet, who were we to refuse to wash our father's feet?

I also remember how funny I thought it was that when one of us kids showed reluctance to perform a small task he tried to assign, he would sometimes say "It's not like I'm asking you to wash my feet and drink the water." It was amusing then, but even more so now, because of the discontinued custom--as if simply washing someone's feet isn't a big enough imposition to make the point, drinking the water had to be tacked on.

These days, I imagine kids whine if they're asked to wash the car...even their own.

Q & A's from around the web

What to do after accidentally swallowing multiple chainsaws?

Whatever you do, make sure nobody yanks on your arm!

Here come da judge...

I hate to admit it, but I am a big fan of the Fox Network court TV shows. Judge Mathis, in particular, is one very cool dude. If he hadn't decided to go into law, he could have made a pretty good living as a comic. But this post is not about him.

If any of you watch/have watched any of these shows, I think you'll identify with this. I am sooo tired of muting or switching channels just before it's time for another set of commercials. They have this annoying habit of playing excerpts from the segment that will follow the upcoming commercials. It would be bad enough if they just played 5-10 seconds of it, as it is usually the most interesting/unexpected/outrageous part, but they play as much as 30 seconds or more. Talk about spoiling the story.

If you forget/neglect to mute/switch channels, you may as well get up and clean the bathroom for the next five minutes because the only thing you'll be missing is commercials followed by a few minutes of crap that was too boring to put in the "preview".

If I were a (potential) sponsor, there's no way I'd advertise during those programs. Instead of giving the viewer incentive to stay glued to the TV, I believe it has the opposite effect. If one watches the preview, (s)he is likely to think "I'll run and (insert household chore here) and if I'm not back by the time the commercials are over, I probably won't miss much."

Tomorrow, I'll post about the banal subject of world hunger. Or not.

Celebrities' secret identities

Today's secret celebrity identity is one I've known about for some years. As I searched for photos that would best demonstrate the similarity of the (apparent) two identities, I came across a video, rendering the photo comparison a second rate demonstration. Without further ado, I give you Michael Keaton posing as Tim Hudak, an MPP (Member of Provincial Parliament) of Ontario, Canada: