My Recipe: Lasagna

Vinny's Lasagna

Ingredients:
1 package (approximately 400 grams) of fresh lasagna or cannelloni/manicotti sheets
1 tub fresh ricotta
1 mozzarella ball
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
2 eggs
2 tbsp. oil
Italian parsley
salt

Note: Also requires meat sauce as per my pasta sauce recipe.

Directions:
1. Prepare pasta sauce using ground beef as directed in my pasta recipe.
2. Slice pasta with sharp knife or pizza cutter into about 2 inch wide strips.
3. Hard boil the eggs (about 5 minutes after boiling starts). While waiting for the eggs…
4. Pour oil into very deep baking dish or a large roasting pot. Using a paper towel, grease bottom 5. and sides of baking dish.
6. Put a little of the meat sauce into the baking dish and spread.
7. Shell, chop (not too small) and salt the hard boiled eggs.
8. Place ricotta into a dish, work in about 2 tbsp of water and some chopped parsley and salt to taste.
9. Shred the mozzarella and set aside.
10. Mostly fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil--reduce to allow a gentle boil.
11. Add 2-3 tsp. of salt (depending on size of pot) to water.
12. Place 2 or 3 pasta strips into pot, boil for several minutes (until it softens and expands)
13. Very, very carefully (try to avoid tearing) lift out each pasta strip and set aside until you are 14. able to handle it without burning your fingers, but not so long that it sticks onto itself.
15. Keep repeating steps 11-12. When you have enough to double layer the bottom of the baking dish…
16. Place two rows of pasta covering the bottom of the pan, alternating the direction, each row perpendicular to the previous, making a weave pattern. Be sure to overlap the edges of the strips so that it stays together when serving.
17. Spread a little mozzarella, then ricotta, then a little sauce, then some egg, and finally a little more mozzarella.
18. Place a single layer of pasta (again, in the opposite direction of the previous layer)
19. Repeat steps 17-18 until you are out of ingredients.
20. Place a little sauce on top of lasagna, sprinkle the parmesan on top and shake/sprinkle some parsley on it.
21. Cover with lid or tightly wrap with foil. Bake for about 30 mins in preheated oven at 350 degrees.

My Recipe: Pasta Sauce

Vinny's Pasta Sauce

Ingredients:
A few meatballs or a few pork ribs/and or a few ounces of stewing beef or a few skinless chicken thighs or substitute approximately 400 grams of lean ground beef instead of any other meat.
One 23 fl. oz. jar strained tomatoes
1/3 of a 5.5 oz. can tomato paste
1 small onion (or half of a large one)
One or two cloves garlic, depending on size and taste (not your size, the size of the clove(s) and not the taste of the garlic--your taste) ;)
3 tbsp. oil, preferably olive oil
1 tsp. chopped oregano, fresh preferably
1 tsp. chopped Italian parsley, fresh preferably
1 tsp. chopped basil, fresh preferably
1 tsp salt (or to taste)
3-4 shakes ground pepper (or to taste)

Directions:
1. If using ground beef, brown as usual, seasoning with salt and pepper to taste and set aside.
2. Finely dice onion and garlic and set aside.
3. Pour oil into medium-sized saucepan and set burner to medium heat.
4. Unless using ground beef, place meat in saucepan, salt lightly and stir frequently until well braised on outside.
5. Throw onion into saucepan and continuing stirring until it is about to change colour (about 2 minutes).
6. Throw in garlic and continue stirring until onion and or garlic start to caramelize.
7. Pour strained tomatoes into saucepan--save lid. Pour about 1/3 cup water into the strained tomato jar, secure lid and swish water around. Pour contents into saucepan and stir.
8. Set burner on simmer.
9. Scoop out tomato paste and stir into sauce.
10. Put all seasonings into saucepan and stir.
11. If using ground beef, place previously browned meat into saucepan and stir.
12. Simmer for at least two hours, if possible, stirring occasionally.
13. Check for saltiness/seasoning after about an hour and make appropriate adjustments.

Notes:
1. Depending on the amount of fat content in the meat, you may end up with excess oil sitting on top of the sauce. If so, slip a teaspoon in and scoop out excess.

2. Depending on how long you cook the sauce, it may become too thick due to evaporation. If so, add a little water and stir.

I think they're trying to wear me down

I just got a phone call from Rogers Cable giving me a spiel on how they can save me a large amount of money by combining my current Rogers cable TV service with their phone service. I replied "There's no way you can beat the deal I have now." The girl says "How do you know that without doing a cost comparison?" To which I respond "Because you've been sending me three fricken pieces of mail and or flyers telling me about it every single week for the last five years!"

"Sorry to bother you, sir. Have a nice day." Click.

Actually, I didn't say "fricken" or raise my voice...damn it!

Please, never leave matches or lighters laying around

House fire causes $100,000 in damage

July 27, 2008 Elisabeth Johns
The Hamilton Spectator
Firefighters battled a blaze that caused $100,000 in damage to a Brantford home Saturday afternoon.

The fire broke out in a bedroom of a two-storey family home on Dorchester Avenue around 3:30 p.m.

When firefighters arrived on the scene, flames could be seen coming out the window of the room at the back of the house.

Firefighters were able to contain the fire to the bedroom and extinguish the blaze within eight minutes.

There were no injuries since no one was home at the time. A cat was found in the residence.

Q & A's from around the web

I have finally decided to let go of my lover and go back to my husband. Have i done the right thing in giving my lover up and staying in a marriage for the kids' sakes?

Um i dont think it is fair to your kids that you stay in it for them because you could be causing it to be miserable and there could be tention in the home and later on your kids dont know how to love because you didnt know how and you should have thought about your kids before you started cheating on your husband I cant believe that you even wrote about this you are being dishonest to your family and to me you arent helping anyone out except for yourself and you are going to keep this lie up of everything is ok and you were cheating on your husband now you have brought the possiblities of diseases to your marriage because who knows who your "lover" has been sleeping with besides you and who there partners been with and now you want to pretend that you guys are happy for the kids who is this really helping you or the kids?

Editor's note: I nominate this for "Longest Sentence of the Year Award".