Home of the brave

As I sat in DFW waiting for my boarding call from American Airlines, I noticed a young man--kid, really, nearby dressed in full army uniform (sandy-coloured, camouflage wear). It's not something I often see in Canada. Moments later, the P.A. announced "We invite our first-class passengers to board Flight #XXXX".

After a couple of minutes of glancing around taking in the scene while avoiding eye contact with anyone else taking in the scene, the following message came: "We now invite our AAdvantage clients to come forward for boarding as well as any of our military in uniform". At that point, a thought started formulating in my mind. By the time I heard "Passengers with seating in Zone A are now asked to...", the thought was complete:

We greatly respect our brave, patriotic young citizens who put themselves in harm's way risking life and limb so that we can continue to enjoy all the freedoms we hold so dear...but not as much as we respect large sums of money.


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Will WikiLeaks destroy the internet as we know it?

We’ve seen Wikileaks lose its DNS provider, so it had to change its domain name from wikileaks.org to wikileaks.ch.

We’ve seen Wikileaks lose access to income sources when PayPal, MasterCard, and others stopped accepting payments on its behalf.

We’ve seen Wikileaks lose hosting services from Amazon, when Amazon rightly determined that Wikileaks had violated its terms of service (the part where you need to own your own content was a clear violation).

We’ve also seen Wikileaks’ ringmaster, Julian Assange, finally tracked down and arrested. Weirdly, though, he wasn’t arrested for trafficking in stolen government documents, but for some conveniently strange sexual deviance charge.

I honestly can’t tell how to parse that one. We don’t really know Assange, so we don’t know if he is a sexual offender, but isn’t it curious how those charges suddenly showed up? I’m obviously not a fan of the guy, but the timing is…interesting.

But even though Wikileaks continues to take a licking, it still keeps on ticking.

How is it possible that a simple Web site can so infuriate governments the world over, but still remain active?

We may start to see in-depth packet analysis for all traffic, so that torrents containing classified information can be disrupted. We may see ISPs required to block any encrypted or binary communication, so anything that’s unreadable by governments can’t travel across the network. We may see citizens permanently cut off from the Internet (and, by extension, cut off from their friends, jobs, and society) because they’re hosting files that only just might be similar to files of interest.

Full Story.

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When you get a Facebook status update like...

...it's time to cull the herd. You are the weakest link...goodbye!

Hint: By all means inform us of your new baby, new job or colon cancer, but for the love of God, keep your sniffles to yourselves. 400 updates a day is enough to make someone sick.


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Sweet or what?!

I've had very little inspiration to post anything here for some time, but today I came across something I absolutely love and it made me feel so good, I wanted to share it and hopefully, it makes you feel good, too.





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Be sure to stay inside the lines, kiddies

There is a gentle curve in a road near me. Every single time I drive that stretch, one or more drivers cannot manage to stay between the lines. They probably coloured outside the lines as children. Perhaps the Department of Motor Vehicles should be notified of such kids' names and save us all the trouble.



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Naked scanners may be dangerous

WASHINGTON — Some US scientists warned Friday that the full-body, graphic-image X-ray scanners now being used to screen passengers and airline crews at airports around the country may be unsafe.

"They say the risk is minimal, but statistically someone is going to get skin cancer from these X-rays," Dr Michael Love, who runs an X-ray lab at the department of biophysics and biophysical chemistry at Johns Hopkins University school of medicine, told AFP.

"No exposure to X-ray is considered beneficial. We know X-rays are hazardous but we have a situation at the airports where people are so eager to fly that they will risk their lives in this manner," he said.

"We still don't know the beam intensity or other details of their classified system."

Story

Nice. The government creates a device they won't release the specs to, forces you to submit to a scan, examines your genitalia, and says "Trust us, it's safe".

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Traffic is backed up along Lake Shore Boulevard...

In Canadians' perennial quest to shed their inferiority complex vis a vis their American cousins, they may have finally succeeded. Unfortunately, what they now showcase as equal to if not superior to those of our neighbours', is decadence, immorality, deceit, and bigotry. Modelled after the hit American reality TV show Jersey Shore, I give you Toronto's own...

Lake Shore






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Who'd a thunk it?

Can you guess who this young lady is?


That's right. This super-sexy, hotter-n'-hell, beautiful, busty angel is non other than...
Kathy Griffin??? Yes, folks, Kathy Griffin. Here she is "au naturelle"...






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Pubic Service Announcement (not a typo)

If you have one of these...

...you may want to invest in this...

The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc). It smooths the ridges of a woman's pubic area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as "Camel Toe".

The product was invented by the ladies above. Their website is here.




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US continues its drone attacks

New York, October 05, 2010

Despite public protests in Pakistan over relentless US drone strikes within that country in the last 45 days, the US isn’t relenting in its drone attacks in Pakistan, with three already in October including one on Monday that reportedly killed eight German nationals in North Waziristan. They are unlikely to forgo the CIA-led strategy as it has proven effective in killing terrorists. The numbers are startling – 78 strikes so far in 2010 as against 53 in all of 2009.

Story

Can't Americans see that despite killing terrorists, would-be terrorists, suspected terrorists, terrorist sympathizers, and innocent men, women and children in the vicinity of possible terrorists in increasing numbers has done nothing but increase the number of terrorists? Are they so blind that they cannot see that they are quickly running out of goodwill capital with the nations of the world? Overseas adventures was a bad idea when America was the defacto superpower, but in her current weakened condition, coupled with the rise of China and others on her heels, she is tempting fate. I shudder to think what a war between or among developed countries would be like. Iraq and Afghanistan are a picnic in comparison. Terrorists aren't born--they're made.

Note: There was a time when certain events (such as drone attacks) could go on without notice and third-hand reports reaching the media could always be dismissed as lies or propaganda. Today, a Pakistani resting in the shade of a tree waiting for a bus, might capture video of a U.S. military action in the area on his cell phone and have it on YouTube and or Facebook and be seen by a million people around the world less than an hour after it occurred. It's becoming increasingly difficult to BS the people as more and more of our "news" is reported live and by ordinary people without an agenda colouring/spinning it.

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Why is this man smiling?

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Whack-a-country

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A rare example of great customer service

I received this in an e-mail today, coincidentally with the arrival of an unexpected DVD...


(Click on image to enlarge.)


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A Toronto tid bit

It seems that just about everything done in Toronto is special. That's easy to say given that I've spent virtually my whole life here, but the city just keeps proving itself over and over again. Few projects are poorly executed. Everyone involved in a major way in this city from the mayor to city planners to large businesses seem dedicated to not being satisfied with the mediocre.

I'm a little late in writing about this, but truth be told, I hadn't really seen the subject of this posting in the three years or so it's been in existence. I'm talking about BMO field--the home of the Toronto FC Major League soccer team.

Here are a few photos that I found impressive:

On one side of the stadium, the seats are colour-coordinated to display the symbol and flag of Canada, the maple leaf. The MLS soccer franchise also happens to be owned by Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment, owners of the Toronto Maple Leafs NHL team. Downtown Toronto is in the background, dominated by the CN Tower, which for some 40 years until recently was the tallest building in the world.



On the opposite side of the stadium, the seats spell out "TORONTO".


Background is Lake Ontario and Toronto island.





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If historical figures had Facebook

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Get up from your chair right now

...and go for a walk. You can read the rest of this when you get back.

Read on, if you insist, but make sure you go when you're through reading this.

We know that vitamin D deficiency can lead to rickets. But a lack of vitamin D can also bring on less obvious ones to the naked eye:

• multiple sclerosis (MS)
• rheumatoid arthritis
• type 1 diabetes
• cancers
• dementia

These are very serious health issues--all brought on by not being exposed to enough sun, the catalyst for your body to manufacture vitamin D.

Story

Why are you still here? Hit the road, jack. And enjoy.



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Sarah Palin is a star

Somebody made the assertion on a message board that Sarah Palin is a star. I posted the following response:

Yes, a white dwarf star.

A white dwarf, also called a degenerate dwarf, is a small star composed mostly of degenerate matter. They are very dense

If you think I'm kidding, check out the Wiki article. The only thing missing is her name and address.


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Cannabis electric car to be made in Canada

An electric car made of hemp is being developed by a group of Canadian companies in collaboration with an Alberta Crown corporation.

The compact car, which will hold a driver and up to three passengers, will have a top speed of 90 kilometres per hour and a range of 40 to 160 kilometres before needing to be recharged, depending on the type of battery.

The car's body will be made of an impact-resistant composite material produced from mats of hemp, a plant from the cannabis family.

Automotive pioneer Henry Ford first built a car made of hemp fibre and resin more than half a century ago. It's not an original idea, but one that wasn't developed much further as car manufacturers favoured other materials, such as steel, in subsequent decades.


Here's a promotional video.

Full Story.

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Be careful who you honk at

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Kids just wanna have fun

It's official. I have entered my second childhood.

This past Friday, despite the humidex being 90+ F. (33 C.), I decided to go for a walk. Here in the Great White North, the mercury this summer has been so high and the humidity even higher, that any day where it only feels like 90 is a good day to go out. I haven't been getting out nearly as much as I like--it's been feeling as hot as 112 F., making it impossible to do anything more than walk across the street to buy groceries. And even then, you're all sweaty by the time you get back.

Anyway, I hit the road and was planning to do a route that takes only about 15 minutes, but the sun was intoxicating and I felt so good, I decided to extend my outing to the 30-35 minute route. This new route takes me toward, but still some distance away from my local Dairy Queen outlet.

This very thought entered my mind (the Dairy Queen), along with a chocolate sundae, one of my favourite treats and which I haven't enjoyed in several years, and although I was starting to get hot, or perhaps because of it, I decided to yet again, extend my walk. This meant that my total walk would be about 50-55 minutes--a very long walk in those conditions.

The fact I haven't made any mention of my second childhood in three subsequent paragraphs is probably testament to it. I've forgotten how to properly write. I'm almost there--I promise.

When I reached the intersection where the cool, delightful treats are located, I spotted a couple of young girls in front of the place, one of them inside a 6'6" paper mache or plastic ice cream cone, trying to drum up business. I have news for them. If the devil were visiting this town that day, he wouldn't need to be encouraged by a fake ice cream cone to get a cool refreshment. I crossed the street and went up to "the cone"--oh, I could tell she was a young girl by the shape and size of her legs. I peered into the slot that was the cone's "mouth" and said "I know you're an ice cream cone and all, but aren't you hot in there?"

Her response was "Awww...gimme a hug". So, like a little kid seeing a Disney character for the first time, I gave her a hug...to the apparent approval of the people on the patio based on the oohs and aahs, not to mention a passing motorist. I felt a bit silly and a bit childish, but it actually felt very good. I smiled at the barely visible face, bid her "Take care", and made my way to the shop.

One step into the place and I was hit by this beautiful rush of very cool air. Ironically, I hadn't noticed until that moment just how hot I was feeling. I seemed to sweat more rather than less as the queue moved along.

I glanced up at the menu and found the sundae prices. A "small", what I always have gotten at Dairy Queen, and always chocolate (I'm a creature of habit), was priced at $2.49...plus tax, of course. In this neck of the woods, that would be 13% or 32 cents, bringing the total not far from $3. It seemed excessive...until it arrived. Then, it seemed ridiculous. To put this in persepctive, a couple of weeks ago, I purchased two litres (almost half a gallon) of name-brand ice cream at the grocery store for $3.99. I could literally consume that sundae with one large bite assuming I wanted to risk the resultant brain freeze killing me.

I exited and almost without thinking, I wandered over toward Miss Ice-cream-cone and asked her if she'd like a little taste of my sundae. She said "Oh, sure!". I scooped up some chocolate syrup and some ice cream and carefully slipped it through her "mouth" and then toward her lips. She said, "Oh, that's so good! Thank-you very much! Give me a hug". And so, this "kid" put his arms around this giant cone for a second time and on this occasion, I hear a slight commotion over my shoulder. I let go of the giant treat while saying "You're very welcome" and "Bye", and glanced to my left to see an Asian man fidgeting with a camera and who had obviously just snapped a picture of the kooky, old man feeding ice cream to the ice cream cone. Those Asians will photograph anything!

As I embarked on my way home, glancing back, I saw that the man was asking to have his picture taken with Miss Cone. A few moments later and as I was 50 yards or so from the Dairy Queen, I heard shouting from behind me. I turned to see the two girls calling at me and waving good-bye. I'll tell you what--it's not at all bad being a kid...again.



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Celebrities' secret identities

Today, I was watching a WPT (World Poker Tour) event on TV and they showed a clip of one of those glamour girls they have at such events and I almost fell out of my chair. To give you a better idea of how startled I was, I wasn't even in a chair at the time! She was a dead ringer for another well-known celebrity.

I jumped to my computer (okay, I walked over really quickly--I didn't want to fall again) to find out who she was. It didn't take long, but few of the images I was looking at resembled her very much and certainly not the celeb she struck me as a perfect match to. Except for this one small image. First, let me first show you one of her more flattering poses that no doubt got her the gig with the WPT.

Here is the lovely Sabina Gadecki:




Does she remind you of anyone? Think for a few moments? Yes? No? It doesn't really matter--you'd be wrong.

Okay, I'll let you in on it. Don't you think she looks exactly like Bill Maher? No, there was no crash of my computer and all my files got mixed up. Bill Maher...couldn't she be his daughter? Yes, this Bill Maher...






Look at her. Look at him. Aren't the identical?

By now, you must be thinking I lost my mind. Let's try it this way--I'll put them side by side and then you can more easily judge if there's any resemblance at all. I'm sure you'll see it, then.


Here they are:



Just like I said--dead ringer, right? No? Are you sure? What about these photos of the same two people?





Is this Bill Maher's long, lost love child? Is it Bill Maher in drag?


To see other "celebrities' secret identities" that I've discovered, click here.



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Dressage competition

Three weeks prior to this quarter horse competition, Stacy's dad had passed away. She dedicated this performance to him as a tribute to "teaching me to keep trying new things".

Notice that she used no bridle, no reins, no saddle and no stirrups. It is nothing short of remarkable how she managed to stay on the horse, let alone how she elicited precision control from her steed. It's no wonder the championship was hers.

Oh, and let's not forget--a great, big congratulations to Wizard's Baby Doll!





Did I mention that this performance brought tears to my eyes?...in a very manly kind of way, of course.


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One of my fave TV ads

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Is politness dead?

If you've ever heard someone say that Canadians are polite (or even if you haven't), consider the following:

The other day, I stopped for gas. After I paid inside, I opened the door to exit, and right at that moment, I spotted a woman approaching the entrance from the right, so I held the door open for her and gestured for her to enter. At that same moment, another young lady arrived from the left. The lady on the right gestured to the girl on the left to enter. Ms. Left said "Thank-you", Ms. Right said "You're welcome", and as Ms. Left entered, she thanked me and I said "You're very welcome". Then the original woman stepped inside and we repeated the polite exchange. Just as I was about to finally exit, a guy had come to the door. Again, I stood there holding the door, but I guess he had seen me holding the door for the two before him and he said "Thanks--you go ahead". I exited through the door and said "Thanks". He said "You're welcome".

I won't say this scenario can't or doesn't happen elsewhere, but I imagine there's often the odd person who spoils the whole thing by either not holding the door or not saying "Thank-you" or "You're welcome". Anyway, the experience had me smiling for a while, and proud of my community and even my country. Am I too easily impressed?


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What the heck!

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Honest Ed's

As newly arrived immigrants, and without much coinage, my mom used to occasionally shop at Honest Ed's discount department store. True to its name, you got honest value for your dollar. Sometimes I went along with her and when I got a bit older, perhaps 10 years old, I sometimes went with my friends. You could always find some bargain toy, treat, or game.

Today, the store celebrated 62 years of serving bargains at the same location at the corner of Bathurst and Bloor by serving 15,001 free meals consisting of hot dogs, chips, drinks and pastries. The extra meal went to Police Services equine Honest Ed, named after the late store owner. This isn't the first time Honest Ed's has thanked the public for their patronage. Every Christmas, the store hands out 1,000 free turkeys for those who may otherwise not enjoy a traditional Christmas meal.

In June 2006, Ed and Anne Mirvish marked their 65th wedding anniversary with a party at the Princess of Wales Theatre. The mayor of Toronto, the chief of police and other public figures delivered congratulatory speeches, followed by a program of vocal music by some of Toronto's opera and theatre stars. In July 2006, Mirvish celebrated his 92nd birthday with a lavish party at Honest Ed's. In honor of this occasion, many items in the store were on sale for 92 cents.

(Honest) Ed Mirvish was a longtime Toronto philanthropist until he passed away in 2007. He is survived by his son David and Ed's wife Anne, who was on hand, today, to enjoy the festivities which also included activities for children, surprise gifts and more. Visitors were entertained by Caribana performances and hula dancers.

Ed has been bestowed with the following honours and awards:

• Appointed a commander of the Order of the British Empire


• Named a Freeman of the City of London in recognition of his contributions to British theatre (he subsequently drove a herd of sheep across London Bridge, a right of a Freeman of the city)


• 1978, Made a Member of the Order of Canada


• 1984, Awarded Retail Council of Canada's Distinguished Canadian Retailer of the Year Award


• 1987, Promoted to Officer of the Order of Canada


• 1999, Awarded Retail Council of Canada's Lifetime Achievement Award


• 2009, One block of Duncan Street in Toronto, near the Royal Alexandra Theatre and the Princess of Wales Theatre in the Entertainment District, is renamed Ed Mirvish Way

Ed won't be forgotten anytime soon. Even my mom, at 88, still harbours fond memories of how far she could stretch her shopping budget thanks to Ed.






Honest Ed's still sports the gaudy Burlesque-like marques from back in the day.





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Macabre Map

This happened two days ago about two miles from my place:

Saturday 2:12 p.m.: A blue car going from Steeles Ave. to Hwy. 410 hit a silver Mazda, causing the Mazda to cross into oncoming traffic and strike a tractor trailer. The blue car fled, leaving the driver of the Mazda to die in hospital and her passenger critically injured.

About two hours earlier, I had used that very stretch of highway.

Last year, when I was driving that same highway, I passed an accident scene that had a car that was almost vertical, nose down between two cars.

When I first saw the story of the more recent tragedy, there was a small map of this on the same page. How nice that people can click on accident sites and read the details of the horrible deaths of their neighbours, friends and family members.


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Toronto to host internation marijuana expo

I was going to go but I forgot about it until this morning, then after I got into the car to drive down, I forgot where it was being held. I hate when that happens.

Marco Renda, who is organizing the expo, said he expects well over 30,000 visitors, including many from the United States and Europe.

Marijuana will not be available at the expo, although registered medical users are welcome to bring cannabis to smoke in a marijuana vaporization room, he said. Vaporization is a process in which hot air is pushed through a chamber containing marijuana. That air is then pushed into a separate chamber, and then inhaled. "Vaporization is a way of using cannabis in a healthier mode because there's no combustion," said Renda, who is a registered grower of marijuana. He is also a registered user of the drug, which he uses to mitigate symptoms of hepatitis C.

"Less than two per cent of the licensed cannabis card holders in Canada actually buy the medicine from the government," he said, adding that many users get the drug from so-called compassion clubs. He said government investment in the growth of medical marijuana is inadequate. As of June 2009, there are just over 4,000 registered medical marijuana users in the country.

Full Story.

The evil weed is de-criminalized in Canada for small amounts for personal use, but IMO it should be made available through government outlets. It would add huge amounts of money to the public coffers and would probably reduce some of the carnage associated with alcohol abuse as I believe many drinkers would opt for pot, instead.

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Born Free - M.I.A.

Born Free - M.I.A.






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Did they have to be so obvious?

I'm sure someone was giggling when they came up with this headline.


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Israeli commandos cleared of wrongdoing

An Israeli military investigation into the raid on a flotilla of Gaza-bound aid ships, has concluded that "the use of live fire" that killed nine activists "was justified".

The investigation, conducted by an army committee, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the officers involved in the May 31 raid.

The team determined that the Navy Commando soldiers operated properly, with professionalism, bravery and resourcefulness and that the commanders exhibited correct decision making," the Israeli army said in a statement on Monday.

Full Story.

In other news, the AIG probe into the company's massive losses caused by the creation of worthless mortgage-based assets which required huge infusions of taxpayer money to bail out the company, has found that the executives' actions were justified.

The study, undertaken by the AIG board of directors, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the principles involved in the scheme.

The board determined that the executives operated properly, with professionalism, creativity and resourcefulness and that they exhibited "correct decision making".

The Vatican announced today that after examining the evidence regarding twenty-three priests accused of sexually molesting 179 young boys, it was clear the clerics had carried out their duties with honour and selflessness and have all been invited to Rome for "a major shindig" which the Pontiff himself said would "rock this town".


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Just for fun

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Laughter is good for the soul

Enjoy...





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Live women to fill dead air

Notice the lovely symmetry of her...eyes...the contrast between her soft, warm hands, and the hard, cold steel of the socket wrench she grasps almost as a pool cue--almost as if she knows how to use it. Admire the lovely lines of the classic beauty--the young lady has nice lines, too, but unfortunately, she appears to get out less frequently than the machine behind her. She could use a little colour in her cheeks (all of them)--perhaps candy apple red?








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Taking a (big) bite out of crime

I just learned of a new development in community policing. Not so long ago, East Orange, New Jersey had a crime rate that was 14 times the national average. It was clear hiring more police or generally doing more of what they were doing was not going to yield the results needed to make an appreciable difference. They needed to do something revolutionary, and something revolutionary, the did. And in so doing, they reduced crime in the area by a whopping 76%!

But in this once crime-ridden town — at one time, the murder rate was more than four times the national average — police are using high-tech equipment to keep a closer eye on city streets. The new alarm-based automated dispatch system, or ABAD for short, has reduced police response time to mere seconds.

A few months ago, the unit integrated ABAD with gunshot detection, real-time response, and security camera systems as part of one all-encompassing intelligent system that can report crime as it happens.

In 2007, the police department collaborated with Digisensory Technologies for the smart sensors inside them, which can alert officers in the crime division if there’s a gathering of people. The police then inspect the footage to determine if it’s just a group of kids — or a group of kids looking for trouble.

But where it really shines is looking into the future. “The system will predict when the next likely event will occur at these locations during these particular times during this particular day.

If you see a sketchy red car outside your house, you could log on to find photographic stills of your street. You can then tell the surveillance camera to turn toward that location to get a better look, and request that police check out the situation from afar. Police can then respond to the request using a message board, telling you if the owner of the car was previously arrested for drug dealing — or just buying groceries, thanks to a license plate recognition system.

Full Story.





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Ramblings of a rambling man

It was a glorious day today and I decided to go for a nice, long walk. As I passed a neighbourhood car service centre, a large sign over the one service bay they had read "Free Courtesy Check". I chuckled as I wondered to myself what they would call a courtesy check that they charged you for.

About half way through my walk, as I approached a beer store, how could I not think of enjoying a delicious, cold beer on this very warm day when my brisk walking has made it a very hot day. I paused for a moment to weigh the fact that I would have to carry the beer all the way home, almost a mile away. It took two seconds for me to start toward the entrance.

Funny how advertising really does work. Lately, there's been a constant barrage of Corona TV commercials and I settled on picking up a six pack. No sooner was I out of the beer store when I regretted my choice. You see, Corona do not have twist-off caps and as I trudged along, I longed to pull out a beer and discreetly consume it as I made my way home while I gently sweat.

The next thing that entered my mind was that all this refreshing beverage I was carrying was going to make me warmer than I already was. I pondered...the faster I walk, the sooner I'll get home, the less warm the beer will get, the less time it will need in the fridge before I can enjoy one. Of course, walking so fast will make me much warmer than I already was.

At about this time, I thought what a great problem for physics students to solve: You're carrying a case of beer that weighs 7 pounds. The temperature of the beer is 40 degrees. You're 1 mile from home and the temperature is 80 degrees. What is the optimum speed for you to walk in order to balance heat exertion with the time to get home and restore the beer to 40 degrees, suitable for consuming?

As I neared my home, I spotted a guy walking his dog on the sidewalk approaching me. I couldn't tell for sure, but the animal appeared to be a pit bull. I could see that the guy had a tight hold of the leash because the dog was head-strong. I should say right now that I have always been afraid of dogs--at least large ones, anyway. As the distance between me and the great beast waned, I worried about what to do. I don't want to appear to be a wimp and walk way over on the boulevard, nor did I relish being some crazed mastiff's snack.

With only yards between us now, the young man almost imperceptibly applys sufficent force to the lead to cause the dog to gradually move to the side. I breathed a sigh of relief and kept my eyes straight not wanting to tip off my would-be assailant to the fear I was hiding. I was so relieved, I felt like thanking the guy for his courteous gesture.

Two minutes later, I arrived home in a bit of a sweat and put the beer in the fridge. I immediately started making dinner and when it was ready, so was the beer. I called my daughter in and extended her a free, courtesy beer.


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Shit my dad said...

When the family was huddled around the TV watching circus performers, gymnasts or figure skaters:

"Ha! You think they have to get up at 5 a.m. and work construction?"

As if anyone could perform a triple somersault on the flying trapeze if not for other commitments.


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BP spills coffee

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Here's something a little different...

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Q & A's from around the web

I'm a fat dude. Is it possible to get a skinny girl?

"to get" as in capture?


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The world's most interesting...

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SiCKO

I just finished watching the movie and I wept.

I wept for Americans without health insurance. I wept for Americans with insurance but who have had claims rejected. I wept for Americans who understand the need for universal health care but can't convince their fellow Americans of it. I wept for Cubans who despite great challenges understand the value of pulling together as human beings to help one another, particularly when one of us is ill. But mostly I wept for Americans who "don't get it".

If you watch this movie and are unaffected...I'd rather not finish this sentence.

A thought came to mind shortly into the film...

Michael Moore is the Noam Chomsky of the lunch pail crowd.

By the way, the part about sending the cheque to his rival with the website dedicated to bashing Moore--what could be more poignant?

If you haven't seen it, I urge you to.

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Poker adventures

Last night I played a NL draw poker tourney. There were 6,000 entrants and they pay top 48.

After a few hours, I am getting low on chips. I get dealt a straight. I make a small raise before the draw hoping to spur a re-raise. The very next player who has me covered goes all-in. As I go to position the mouse over the "call" button, I'm hit with a power failure. If it had come one second later, I would have won a big pot and had a good chance to finish in the money. Instead, I lost whatever I had bet and struggled to finish around 150th.

The bizarre thing is that the rain was so brief and so light that it was surprising that it produced lightning at all. It's as if the poker gods, sensing I was about to finish well, contacted Thor and...

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How much further...

...can the quality of "journalism" sink? If I haven't made it apparent, yet, I am a stickler for spelling and grammar and I am continually shocked and appalled by the new depths it reaches. There seems to be no bounds beneath which it will not go and there is no apparant reason to believe the bottom is anywhere near imminent. The logical conclusion is that one day, sooner rather than later, virtually everthing you read, regardless of source or author, will resemble the worst jibberish one witnesses on intenet message boards, instant messenger chat sessions and mobile text messages.

What's got me in a snit this time? I ckicked on a news story brought to me as part of a collection by Google (by clicking on "News" on the Google portal) and my jaw dropped. It's not as if I stumbled onto the page of an obscure amateur blogger--I'm talking about an otherwise legitimate news service. Here are a few small samples of this "professional" journalist's work:

No really, what kind of idiot would go on tv, in Turkey or anywhere in earth

Get a loud of some of this crap that Hedo spews..

Who knew, Toronto a hard place to play on athletes??????

Now, you might think that perhaps the author has some redeeming talents such as a keen insight into the subject matter or perhaps he weaves a rivetting story. Perhaps you'd be wrong. He offers little insight into anything...other than his abysmal command of the English language, and as for his ability to weave--I'm sure he is far more suited to performing the activity using baskets rather than the English language.

You be the judge.

Maybe I should just accept that the world is changing and learn to change along with it. i thnk ill start rite now, c u ltr..........


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Man allegedly sets blaze because of late dinner

Mon May 24, 9:04 pm ET

SISSONVILLE, W.Va. – Kanawha County authorities said a marital spat over a late dinner has landed a man in jail on an arson charge. Lt. Sean Crosier of the Sheriff's Department said 60-year-old Guy Edward Jones came home Sunday and got angry because his wife, Beverly Jones, didn't have dinner on the table.

Crosier said the couple fought and Beverly Jones ran to a neighbor's house. Crosier said she turned and saw flames coming out of the basement and her husband exiting through the basement door.

Guy Jones was in the South Central Regional Jail on Monday afternoon in lieu of $50,000 bond. It could not be determined whether he had a lawyer.

Story

In related news, the producers of the popular Fox television series The Simpsons, have put out a press release indicating that a search for a suitable replacement for the character Jasper Beardly is already underway and they expect there to be no impact to the current production schedule.

Jasper Beardly:

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That's how we fix it

I did a double take when I saw this commercial for the first time. I literally laughed out loud and then chuckled for the next two days every time I thought about it. Listen to them laughing at the end. It's as if the characters themselves can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. It's one of my all-time favourites.





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Freedom of speech or simple hate?

In the midst of the "Everybody Draw Mohammed Day" fiasco, defenders of their right to free speech often write that the exercise of it should never be self restricted because of what those who object to various manifestations of it see as highly offensive. Many of them assert that it is a noble right worth defending at all costs because anything less would be giving in to pressure to a lessening of personal rights and freedoms.

My question to them is: When was the last time you lost a right or freedom simply because you didn't exercise it? How many times did you lose your right to travel because you stayed home for too long a period? When was the last time you lost your right to vote because you didn't go to the polls for three elections in a row? When was the last time your freedom of speech was suspended because you didn't offend someone for six months? You are not obligated to exercise each and every right you have to it's fullest degree.

Freedom of speech is assured. I don't see it being revoked any time soon. Taunting Muslims, or anyone else under the guise of exercising the right of freedom of expression is in practical terms bull shit. It serves only one purpose: to spread hate. Not only to spread hate, but to solicit support in the spreading of that hate.

It costs you nothing to refrain from purposely offending Muslims. If you disagree with facets of Islam, fine, start a debate--you may learn something. Rights and freedoms are not like muscles--they do not need to be exercised so that they don't atrophy and lose their power. Please, stop this ploy because it amounts to nothing but hate mongering. It does nothing to cement our rights while at the same time, it pisses off a whole lot of people. So, what have you gained? Was that the real objective? Simply to piss people off? Congratulations--it succeeded. Now, try doing something positive.


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It's bottom of the ninth with two out...

What's up with baseball announcers these days? Why do they keep informing the viewers over and over...and over again about the current status of the game? For instance: "There's a man on first with two outs at the bottom of the third in a zero-zero tie". Uh, thanks, but I know all that--it's right there on the screen...constantly.

I guess because of technology, the requirements of the job have changed--they just forgot to CC: the announcers on the memo. They should stick to analysis of the game and throw in a little personal stuff here and there. Maybe they don't have enough interesting or insightful things to say and have to back fill with um, filler. Whatever the reason, I want my money back.


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Another typical poker tourney (typical for me)

Last night, I played in a .05, yes, five cent poker tourney. There was nothing else available within the time frame I was willing to wait at my very unpopular poker site. It gets quieter and quieter. I'm sure it will close down any day now. I'm wondering if I should take my money out now.

Anyway, at one point I announce: "30 hands dealt, not one playable hand." (I played a few hands from my blinds with very little and had to fold.)

At hand 37, I get dealt JJ. I am in late position and someone in early position raised 3x or 4xbb before the flop and gets 3 callers including me. Flop comes 99Q. The pre-flop raiser makes a large bet, next guy calls, next guy makes a big raise. Of course, I would be all-in if I made the ridiculous call--I fold. Early guy re-raises and is all-in. Next guy calls and is all-in. Early guy had KK. Next guy had garbage. Last guy had QQ.

After hand 40, with my chips about = 5xbb and still not having seen a river, I announce: "I have a feeling when I go all-in, I'll be outdrawn."

A few hands later, I'm the SB and everyone folds to me. I'm holding A4 and by now, I'm thoroughly frustrated and I go all-in. The guy calls with KT. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. Flop is KTx

I'm out.

Since I'm "not allowed" to win consistently, maybe I should put together a book of my poker (mis)adventures, including screen shots and hand histories. Naa, no one would buy it. And by "buy it", I mean "believe it". Well...both.

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Can you spot the liberal?

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Portrait of an alleged terrorist training camp

Not only does Canada produce more comics per capita than any other country, apparently, even alleged Canadian terrorists are a funny bunch.

A less nefarious picture of an alleged terrorist training camp emerged Thursday, when a Brampton court heard attendees were forced to sleep in a van because of sub-zero temperatures, participated in military marches to avoid hypothermia and squealed when a field mouse ran into a tent.

The portrait of an “utterly disorganized” camp, surfaced as defence lawyer Michael Moon cross-examined police agent Mubin Shaikh, who infiltrated the alleged homegrown terror cell in late 2005.

Court was told that when members of the group attended a December 2005 camp in Washago, Ont., some were terrified a fictional pack of wolves was stalking them, two men cut themselves chopping wood and one nearly lit himself ablaze while pouring fuel onto the campfire.

“These guys were lucky to get out of Washago alive,” Moon suggested to Shaikh, who is testifying at the trial of Fahim Ahmad, Steven Chand and Asad Ansari, members of the so-called Toronto 18, which was busted up by police on June 2, 2006.

Shaikh, the only one who had the foresight to bring a winter tent, said he never believed the campers were at risk of death because they could sleep in their vehicles. But, he testified, “there was a real risk of hypothermia.”

The full story.

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Q & A's from around the web

What's your orientation and your sign?

Horizontal and Do Not Disturb.


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Q & A's from around the web

What do you wear with destroyed jeans from Abercrombie?


A demolished top from Fitch.



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Count your blessings

Today, I thought I'd write a feel good story. Not in the way you imagine. By describing how miserable I feel right now, you might want to reconsider your assessment of your own health. And if it happens to be worse than mine, well, then, maybe I'll feel a little better.

Leaving aside some of my more personal and chronic conditions (even though some of them and these are, indeed, chronic), the last couple of days I've been struggling with hemorrhoids, excessive gas, bloating, stomach cramps, constipation (followed by diarrhea), sore throat, cough, constant headache, and lower back pain that won't ease sitting, standing or laying down.

I wish these were all I had to deal with. Now, before you start (if you aren't already well into) thinking what a whiner I am, let me just point out that aside from the account I gave of the heart attack I had last year, I haven't bitched about my condition(s) in this blog. And I'm not really sure why I'm doing it now. Certainly not to garner sympathy--I don't have enough readership to make a lick of difference.

I know that sometimes when I'm not feeling great, hearing of someone else's challenges makes me feel lucky for not having theirs. So, maybe today, if you're not feeling well, perhaps you can feel grateful for being you. And if you happen to feel good today, sorry for possibly bringing you down. In retribution, I promise my next posting will be a humorous and or positive one.

Have a good one!...or at least a better one than I'm having.


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I'm a sucker for a pretty face

I was watching Boston Legal when I was practically knocked out of my socks by a stunning actress who was a guest star. I was so taken by her, I had to find out who she was and why I had never noticed her before. She wasn't a young starlet, so I figured she must have appeared here and there. That I hadn't noticed her before troubled me.

After a little digging, I found out who she was. It turns out I had seen her before. I looked for photos of her, but damned, if I could find any of her that resemble her look on that show. There was maybe one that resembled her slightly, but most of the others didn't do her justice. The makeup crew deserves an award for the beauty they created that day. Fire engine red lipstick completed the hot look. Before I bore you to death with any more trivia and at the risk of building her up too much, here is Gail O'Grady...








I found a few more nice photos of Gail. If you'd like to see them, click here.

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What's that smell?

No doubt you've noticed how technology is being used with increased frequency to produce visually interesting and perplexing TV commercials. One of my current favourites is an Old Spice commercial that really caught my attention the first time I saw it. Not only does it use tricks, but the premise is also very amusing. See for yourself...




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The Mover

A year or so ago, I noticed a very nice girl's voice singing a jingle in a TV commercial. I forget which ad it was. Anyway, several months later, I heard the same, unmistakable voice in another commercial. Since then, the disembodied voice keeps popping up with more and more frequency. The jingles are always pleasant and uplifting.

Several weeks, ago, after hearing the same disembodied voice singing a background song in a TV show, it started to drive me crazy. Who is this woman, and why haven't I heard or read anything about her obvious popularity. About two days after that, lo and behold, the voice came from my daughter's room! I raced over and begged her--"Who belongs to that voice?!"

She tells me the name I was so curious about. I need to explain right now that my daughter watches very little TV. When I related to her what I just have to you, she had no idea of the phenomenon that was taking place. I went to my PC and found out all about this young recording star. As I suspected, she burst onto the recording scene with great success.

The reason I was inspired to write this tonight is that the artist blew me away. I mean even more so than before. I was watching TV and she sang her jingles in two consecutive commercials. The first was for Coffee Mate, and the second was for McDonald's.

By now, you may be wondering what has this post's title "The Mover" got to do with a singer. Allow me to let you in on what was to me the best kept secret in the recording industry. Her name is Emilie Mover. She is a Canadian musician with a stunningly beautiful, captivating voice and whose simple ballads are deliciously sweet.

If you've never heard of her or her music, here are a few tidbits to whet your appetite.














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KFC set to unleash bunless Double Down sandwich on America

First there was the Double Big Mac. Then came the Baconator. Now KFC is triumphantly laying claim to the World's meatiest and - in our opinion - most nutritionally-challenged sandwich. Their recipe? Two strips of bacon, two slices of cheese and a healthy dollop of the Colonel's Sauce all sandwiched between (insert drum roll please) two thick and juicy filets of deep-fried chicken. That's right, this sandwich is so serious it doesn't need a bun.

The whole story.

How long before the U.S. government starts spying on KFC patrons so as to disqualify them from health insurance?







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What is the world coming to?

I happened to catch the following promo for a show on a specialty channel called Slice. I guess it's the channel formerly known as The Life Network (slice of life?) Anyway, the show is called Shear Genius and is about hair stylists competing for who knows what--perhaps a shot at fame an fortune like most of the other "reality" shows.

I'm no prude--I've been around the block more times than most people, but something in the commercial took me by surprise--so much so, that I wasn't sure I heard it right. I jumped up and went to YouTube to see if I could find it.

As it turns out, my hearing seems to be fine, but I take little pleasure in learning this. I find the spot in the ad disgusting and in my opinion, not appropriate for general consumption. Civility is dead, it would seem. I would have liked to have attended the funeral--I was a big fan of it for a very long time. Listen to the commercial and tell me what you think about the bit at about 24 seconds in.




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A glimpse into the future

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Simple act of kindness

Today, while walking, I came face to face with a dishevelled old man who quickly gave me his sob story before I could walk out of earshot. "I'm on the street and I'd like to get some lunch. Can you spare any change?" I politely declined his request and continued on.

I took about 20 steps and then started to feel sorry for him. I thought to myself that he'd probably just spend any money given to him on booze or drugs. He didn't seem quite all there. Then I thought that whatever he does with it, it'll be something he deems more necessary at the moment to help him cope with his obviously unpleasant circumstances. He may need to escape from his problems for a while or he may indeed need to eat something.

I dug into my pocket and found a couple of Toonies (Canadian $2 coins). I turned around and started back just in time to see another man solicited and reject the pan handler. I walked up and told him "Here, take this" and dropped the coins into his outstretched hand. He looked at me, then at the coins in his still outstretched hand and then back at me as if he couldn't comprehend what had just happened. Finally, he said "Thanks a lot, chief. You're very kind". I mumbled "No problem" as I turned to go on my way. He remained where he was and continued to shower me with accolades of gratitude as I put distance between us.

A few minutes later, I stopped at an intersection waiting for traffic to ease and he caught up with me and continued with the thanks, etc. I couldn't help but smile at the situation and as I crossed the road, he remained there again continuing "God bless you..."

Well, it gave me a lift for the rest of the afternoon, which got me to thinking: Which one of us got the bigger lift from the transaction?

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Sister Mary Ann

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said,

'If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.'

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Wave at the nice policeman

Thank God most criminals are dumb. We might be in serious trouble, otherwise. Case in point:

A young man walking along a highway near Kenora, Ontario, Canada spotted a police car going by and took the opportunity to "flip the bird", give a "middle finger salute" or whatever you want to call the rude gesture. The cop turned his vehicle around and stopped to chat with the guy.

During the exchange, it came to light that the man was carrying a number of stolen items, including two credit cards, a GPS, an IPod charger and a BlackBerry. The 19-year-old was charged with possession of stolen property.

The police officer said "A simple wave would have been a wiser choice".

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Heh...I was right on

Raptors lose by 13 in another of a long string of uninspired efforts. This, to a team whose record is only better than two teams in the entire NBA. A women's team can beat Raps on most nights. No offence to women.

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By how many points...

...will the Raptors lose to the lowly 21-47 Golden State who have lost their last six? 5 points? 10 points? 15? More?

Raptors, who have lost 7 of their last 8, have given a much-needed lift to several teams lately who were in a slump. Multi-million dollar contracts and they get out of the way every time the opposition heads to the basket. Three nights ago, Sacramento scored almost half their points with layups and 43 points in the third quarter alone. I think it's disgusting. Frankly, I don't know why anyone would want to pay to watch them. It's sick. And sickening.

Do the honourable thing and find another line of work. Here's a novel idea: earn your money. White and blue-collar workers alike are mostly not thrilled with their co-workers, bosses and working conditions, yet they bust their humps for their few shekels. With a multi-million dollar salary, why can't you put whatever BS is bothering your sensibilities aside and do your job?! If not for your employer, do it for your own pride and/or for your fans.

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I love Calderon, but I couldn't resist

Click on image to enlarge.






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Could you use a chuckle?

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?

He asked for help and she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were.

It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time
on the right feet.

He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,

'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she
struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little
feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,

'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.'

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

She will be eligible for parole in three years.


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Q & A's from around the web

How can i get sharpie out of my jeans?

Aw...what a cute pet name you have for your boyfriend!

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Q & A's from around the web

I have a St. Bernard/Mastiff mix in my home and I am thinking of getting a chihuahua. Is it safe?

I wouldn't advise it. There's a very good chance that the bigger dog would at some point bitch-slap the Chihuahua for his tacos.

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Q & A's from around the web

Whats the speed of Dark? theres the speed of light..but not dark...?

being there is the speed of light which is e=mc2 is the therum of it being sent to your eye in a matter of millaseconds dark has no speed because the light receptors in your eye do not recieve the pigment it takes to see so there is no actual speed just like dark holes because the gravity is so strong it doesnt even let light out. AMAZING

The gentleman who posted the answer above cited the source of his knowledge as "I study In Science".

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Q & A's from around the web

Can alcohol kill a fresh herpes virus?

Booze is probably responsible for you getting it in the first place. And quite possibly in the second place.


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Born that way

Even very young children exhibit innate characteristics of their sex. Here are a couple of examples of such behaviours.




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In the news...

NBA Cleveland Cavaliers player, Anderson Varejao, has been suspended by the team for moonlighting as an actor. It came to light that Varejao has been guest starring on the popular Fox Network show The Simpsons as Sideshow Bob.




(Varejao as himself in the upper image.)


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What a world

The amazing low price immediately catches your eye! Then, you notice that this great price is for an all-inclusive. Even better! Well, almost all-inclusive--it doesn't include the $320 in taxes that the fine print tells you about. Still, a great price by any standards, but why such exorbitant taxes? If the airlines and hotels can offer such a wonderful deal, why does the government feel the need to take more than half the total cost of the product/service? Kinda makes you want to shake the livin' crap out of the nearest politician, doesn't it?



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Faux News...or is it Fake News?

Fox News likes to proclaim themselves "fair and balanced", so imagine my surprise when I googled "republican party politics" and found "www.foxnews.com" was the third website listed. Imagine my grin when the next website down was "www.gopusa.com". Now, imagine my laughter when the next website turned out to be "www.republicans.org". When it comes to fair and balanced republican reporting, Fox News is clearly "on top".


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Q & A's from around the web

im nauseaious in the morning, boobs are kind of sore, back aches, headaches, butterflies in my stomach, and horrible headaches. could i be pregnant?

you might be pregnant but it might be in your head.

It's very unlikely you're pregnant in your head, unless of course...


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Be sure to watch this to the end...

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