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Showing posts with label hot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot. Show all posts
Thursday 23 January 2014
Monday 11 November 2013
It's on fire!
On this, the 4th trading day since I bought ONVO at $7.33, seconds ago it was trading over $9 a share. That's up over 23% in less than four days. Get it while it's hot!
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Wednesday 31 October 2012
New and improved crap
Pizza Hut really struck gold with this idea.
If the lactose in the cheese isn't making you sick enough, the fat and cholesterol in the red meat isn't clogging your arteries enough, and the white flour isn't clogging up your butt enough, throw in some hooves and ears (or beaks and feet if it's a chicken hot dog) into the crust. Oh, there's no time to pick up a phone. You need one right now. Order online! While you're at it, you may as well call the paramedics. The amount of time between suffering a heart attack and receiving treatment is critical for recovery. Invite them in to watch TV with you while you wait for your coronary.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
If the lactose in the cheese isn't making you sick enough, the fat and cholesterol in the red meat isn't clogging your arteries enough, and the white flour isn't clogging up your butt enough, throw in some hooves and ears (or beaks and feet if it's a chicken hot dog) into the crust. Oh, there's no time to pick up a phone. You need one right now. Order online! While you're at it, you may as well call the paramedics. The amount of time between suffering a heart attack and receiving treatment is critical for recovery. Invite them in to watch TV with you while you wait for your coronary.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Monday 22 October 2012
Women follow me wherever I go
The following ad has been popping up regularly lately, seemingly following me around.
(Click to enlarge.)
Can someone please explain to me why these busty, attractive women:
a) want me instead of a young man?
b) have so much trouble meeting men that they feel they need to use a dating service? They certainly don't look shy!
c) if they're looking for a sugar daddy, isn't there an app for that?
I think the ad would be more believable if instead of saying "you", it said "Vinny".
Just the same, I'm afraid I have to decline. Sorry, ladies--this old man is taken.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Can someone please explain to me why these busty, attractive women:
a) want me instead of a young man?
b) have so much trouble meeting men that they feel they need to use a dating service? They certainly don't look shy!
c) if they're looking for a sugar daddy, isn't there an app for that?
I think the ad would be more believable if instead of saying "you", it said "Vinny".
Just the same, I'm afraid I have to decline. Sorry, ladies--this old man is taken.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Sunday 11 March 2012
Thursday 4 November 2010
Who'd a thunk it?
Can you guess who this young lady is?
That's right. This super-sexy, hotter-n'-hell, beautiful, busty angel is non other than...
Kathy Griffin??? Yes, folks, Kathy Griffin. Here she is "au naturelle"...
Click here to go to most recent posts.
That's right. This super-sexy, hotter-n'-hell, beautiful, busty angel is non other than...
Kathy Griffin??? Yes, folks, Kathy Griffin. Here she is "au naturelle"...
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Sunday 15 August 2010
Kids just wanna have fun
It's official. I have entered my second childhood.
This past Friday, despite the humidex being 90+ F. (33 C.), I decided to go for a walk. Here in the Great White North, the mercury this summer has been so high and the humidity even higher, that any day where it only feels like 90 is a good day to go out. I haven't been getting out nearly as much as I like--it's been feeling as hot as 112 F., making it impossible to do anything more than walk across the street to buy groceries. And even then, you're all sweaty by the time you get back.
Anyway, I hit the road and was planning to do a route that takes only about 15 minutes, but the sun was intoxicating and I felt so good, I decided to extend my outing to the 30-35 minute route. This new route takes me toward, but still some distance away from my local Dairy Queen outlet.
This very thought entered my mind (the Dairy Queen), along with a chocolate sundae, one of my favourite treats and which I haven't enjoyed in several years, and although I was starting to get hot, or perhaps because of it, I decided to yet again, extend my walk. This meant that my total walk would be about 50-55 minutes--a very long walk in those conditions.
The fact I haven't made any mention of my second childhood in three subsequent paragraphs is probably testament to it. I've forgotten how to properly write. I'm almost there--I promise.
When I reached the intersection where the cool, delightful treats are located, I spotted a couple of young girls in front of the place, one of them inside a 6'6" paper mache or plastic ice cream cone, trying to drum up business. I have news for them. If the devil were visiting this town that day, he wouldn't need to be encouraged by a fake ice cream cone to get a cool refreshment. I crossed the street and went up to "the cone"--oh, I could tell she was a young girl by the shape and size of her legs. I peered into the slot that was the cone's "mouth" and said "I know you're an ice cream cone and all, but aren't you hot in there?"
Her response was "Awww...gimme a hug". So, like a little kid seeing a Disney character for the first time, I gave her a hug...to the apparent approval of the people on the patio based on the oohs and aahs, not to mention a passing motorist. I felt a bit silly and a bit childish, but it actually felt very good. I smiled at the barely visible face, bid her "Take care", and made my way to the shop.
One step into the place and I was hit by this beautiful rush of very cool air. Ironically, I hadn't noticed until that moment just how hot I was feeling. I seemed to sweat more rather than less as the queue moved along.
I glanced up at the menu and found the sundae prices. A "small", what I always have gotten at Dairy Queen, and always chocolate (I'm a creature of habit), was priced at $2.49...plus tax, of course. In this neck of the woods, that would be 13% or 32 cents, bringing the total not far from $3. It seemed excessive...until it arrived. Then, it seemed ridiculous. To put this in persepctive, a couple of weeks ago, I purchased two litres (almost half a gallon) of name-brand ice cream at the grocery store for $3.99. I could literally consume that sundae with one large bite assuming I wanted to risk the resultant brain freeze killing me.
I exited and almost without thinking, I wandered over toward Miss Ice-cream-cone and asked her if she'd like a little taste of my sundae. She said "Oh, sure!". I scooped up some chocolate syrup and some ice cream and carefully slipped it through her "mouth" and then toward her lips. She said, "Oh, that's so good! Thank-you very much! Give me a hug". And so, this "kid" put his arms around this giant cone for a second time and on this occasion, I hear a slight commotion over my shoulder. I let go of the giant treat while saying "You're very welcome" and "Bye", and glanced to my left to see an Asian man fidgeting with a camera and who had obviously just snapped a picture of the kooky, old man feeding ice cream to the ice cream cone. Those Asians will photograph anything!
As I embarked on my way home, glancing back, I saw that the man was asking to have his picture taken with Miss Cone. A few moments later and as I was 50 yards or so from the Dairy Queen, I heard shouting from behind me. I turned to see the two girls calling at me and waving good-bye. I'll tell you what--it's not at all bad being a kid...again.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
This past Friday, despite the humidex being 90+ F. (33 C.), I decided to go for a walk. Here in the Great White North, the mercury this summer has been so high and the humidity even higher, that any day where it only feels like 90 is a good day to go out. I haven't been getting out nearly as much as I like--it's been feeling as hot as 112 F., making it impossible to do anything more than walk across the street to buy groceries. And even then, you're all sweaty by the time you get back.
Anyway, I hit the road and was planning to do a route that takes only about 15 minutes, but the sun was intoxicating and I felt so good, I decided to extend my outing to the 30-35 minute route. This new route takes me toward, but still some distance away from my local Dairy Queen outlet.
This very thought entered my mind (the Dairy Queen), along with a chocolate sundae, one of my favourite treats and which I haven't enjoyed in several years, and although I was starting to get hot, or perhaps because of it, I decided to yet again, extend my walk. This meant that my total walk would be about 50-55 minutes--a very long walk in those conditions.
The fact I haven't made any mention of my second childhood in three subsequent paragraphs is probably testament to it. I've forgotten how to properly write. I'm almost there--I promise.
When I reached the intersection where the cool, delightful treats are located, I spotted a couple of young girls in front of the place, one of them inside a 6'6" paper mache or plastic ice cream cone, trying to drum up business. I have news for them. If the devil were visiting this town that day, he wouldn't need to be encouraged by a fake ice cream cone to get a cool refreshment. I crossed the street and went up to "the cone"--oh, I could tell she was a young girl by the shape and size of her legs. I peered into the slot that was the cone's "mouth" and said "I know you're an ice cream cone and all, but aren't you hot in there?"
Her response was "Awww...gimme a hug". So, like a little kid seeing a Disney character for the first time, I gave her a hug...to the apparent approval of the people on the patio based on the oohs and aahs, not to mention a passing motorist. I felt a bit silly and a bit childish, but it actually felt very good. I smiled at the barely visible face, bid her "Take care", and made my way to the shop.
One step into the place and I was hit by this beautiful rush of very cool air. Ironically, I hadn't noticed until that moment just how hot I was feeling. I seemed to sweat more rather than less as the queue moved along.
I glanced up at the menu and found the sundae prices. A "small", what I always have gotten at Dairy Queen, and always chocolate (I'm a creature of habit), was priced at $2.49...plus tax, of course. In this neck of the woods, that would be 13% or 32 cents, bringing the total not far from $3. It seemed excessive...until it arrived. Then, it seemed ridiculous. To put this in persepctive, a couple of weeks ago, I purchased two litres (almost half a gallon) of name-brand ice cream at the grocery store for $3.99. I could literally consume that sundae with one large bite assuming I wanted to risk the resultant brain freeze killing me.
I exited and almost without thinking, I wandered over toward Miss Ice-cream-cone and asked her if she'd like a little taste of my sundae. She said "Oh, sure!". I scooped up some chocolate syrup and some ice cream and carefully slipped it through her "mouth" and then toward her lips. She said, "Oh, that's so good! Thank-you very much! Give me a hug". And so, this "kid" put his arms around this giant cone for a second time and on this occasion, I hear a slight commotion over my shoulder. I let go of the giant treat while saying "You're very welcome" and "Bye", and glanced to my left to see an Asian man fidgeting with a camera and who had obviously just snapped a picture of the kooky, old man feeding ice cream to the ice cream cone. Those Asians will photograph anything!
As I embarked on my way home, glancing back, I saw that the man was asking to have his picture taken with Miss Cone. A few moments later and as I was 50 yards or so from the Dairy Queen, I heard shouting from behind me. I turned to see the two girls calling at me and waving good-bye. I'll tell you what--it's not at all bad being a kid...again.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Wednesday 5 November 2008
Right now
It's warmer in Toronto (17 C.) than it is in:
San Francisco (16 C.)
Rome (16 C.)
Paris (10 C.)
London (10 C.)
Must be all that globally warmed Arctic air wafting down.
San Francisco (16 C.)
Rome (16 C.)
Paris (10 C.)
London (10 C.)
Must be all that globally warmed Arctic air wafting down.
Thursday 2 October 2008
Q & A's from around the web
can you get pregnant while having sex in a hot tub?
It depends. Were your eggs hard-boiled at the time? Were his?
It depends. Were your eggs hard-boiled at the time? Were his?
Sunday 3 August 2008
Living in the bizarro world
It was a glorious day, today--bright sunshine, a few puffy clouds in the sky, a light breeze blowing and about 80 F. I should remind/inform you that I live in The Great White North. A place where we are no strangers to some of the coldest, most severe weather on the planet. So, imagine my surprise when while I was out, I spotted several people wearing jackets. Granted, it wasn't one of the balmy, humid days in the 90's we regularly get this time of year, but still, it certainly was a shorts and t-shirt day.
Now, you may be thinking that I observed people sporting suit jackets or blazers. Nope. I'm talking regular jackets generally worn for protection against the elements. And now, for the kicker: One guy was wearing one of those bubble-type winter jackets. Not an old guy who's always cold, or afflicted with dementia--a guy in his 20's. Okay, it was sleeveless, but c'mon, now. These are the dog days, bud. What are you going to do in January? Hibernate? Do these people know they're living in the bizarro world? Are their friends too embarrassed to tell them they um, dress funny? Do they not have friends to guide them? Were their friends over-dressed today, too? I would have asked, but who knows how a guy who lives in bizarro land might react. I wouldn't want an anvil dropped on me.
Now, you may be thinking that I observed people sporting suit jackets or blazers. Nope. I'm talking regular jackets generally worn for protection against the elements. And now, for the kicker: One guy was wearing one of those bubble-type winter jackets. Not an old guy who's always cold, or afflicted with dementia--a guy in his 20's. Okay, it was sleeveless, but c'mon, now. These are the dog days, bud. What are you going to do in January? Hibernate? Do these people know they're living in the bizarro world? Are their friends too embarrassed to tell them they um, dress funny? Do they not have friends to guide them? Were their friends over-dressed today, too? I would have asked, but who knows how a guy who lives in bizarro land might react. I wouldn't want an anvil dropped on me.
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