Busty women get bigger tips

That may come as no surprise, but someone actually researched it. They did a scientific study as if  there were some other possibility.

There are a whole range of benefits that come with attractiveness, few of which are interesting, but I happened to stumble onto one. The observers of the following study published statistics on just how much attractiveness played a part in their observations. They found that when it came to hitchhiking females, female drivers were unfazed by breast size and offered a lift at a fairly steady rate. However, only 15% of men pulled over for a woman sporting an A-cup, while nearly 25% were enticed enough to give a ride to a woman with a C-cup. The numbers for a B-cup were only marginally higher than those for an A-cup. I guess the implication is that if breasts aren't large enough to cause a man to possibly do permanent damage to his neck from jerking his head to the side to gawk, they have no magic.

Don't complain to me about sexism--I'm only the messenger.

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Women follow me wherever I go

The following ad has been popping up regularly lately, seemingly following me around.

(Click to enlarge.)

Can someone please explain to me why these busty, attractive women:

a) want me instead of a young man?

b) have so much trouble meeting men that they feel they need to use a dating service? They certainly don't look shy!

c) if they're looking for a sugar daddy, isn't there an app for that?

I think the ad would be more believable if instead of saying "you", it said "Vinny".

Just the same, I'm afraid I have to decline. Sorry, ladies--this old man is taken.


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From the anals of time

At my age, pinpointing when something occurred, is sometimes tricky. My best guess is that the following occurred around the early 90's.

On a hot summers day, in Guelph, Ontario, Canada, young Gwen Jacobs was walking along the sidewalk of a busy downtown street. She suddenly decided right there and then that it was unfair for men to walk along topless while women had to be uncomfortably covered. She removed her top and nonchalantly continued her trek. In due course, as one might expect, the police arrived on the scene, "scene" being the operative word here, and promptly arrested her.

Gwen, the assertive and resourceful gal that she was, even at her tender 20ish age, secured herself a good lawyer. To make a short story shorter, the court was convinced that she was right in having equal rights to a man in regards to public (un)dress.

The effect of the case was immediate, if not widespread. In the following months, the occasional young, and even not so young, female could be seen exercising her new-found "freedom of expression", most often at beaches, parks or in one case, while watering the front lawn. Each incident that was spotted by a member of the hordes of press that were now scouring all venues they thought might yield another "Gwen", was immediately flashed across the television screens and had everyone wagging their tongues about it. Beach attendance figures broke all records that summer, attended by mostly adolescent boys (of all ages) hoping to get a head start on September's anatomy class.

Well, extremely conservative Canadians couldn't stand for such a public debacle. But what to do about it? When a "lady" of a certain age, in a small public pool, with even smaller children, insisted on exposing her ample bosom, thereby covering up her navel, enough was enough. The police arrested her and somehow managed to convict her of some sort of community standard statute. After that, one or two more incidents were reported to have occurred at the beach and that was the end of it. Canada was proud to revert back to the prude it has always been. And Gwen Jacobs was indelibly etched in Canadian history.