Showing posts with label butt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label butt. Show all posts
Friday 9 November 2012
Wednesday 31 October 2012
New and improved crap
Pizza Hut really struck gold with this idea.
If the lactose in the cheese isn't making you sick enough, the fat and cholesterol in the red meat isn't clogging your arteries enough, and the white flour isn't clogging up your butt enough, throw in some hooves and ears (or beaks and feet if it's a chicken hot dog) into the crust. Oh, there's no time to pick up a phone. You need one right now. Order online! While you're at it, you may as well call the paramedics. The amount of time between suffering a heart attack and receiving treatment is critical for recovery. Invite them in to watch TV with you while you wait for your coronary.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
If the lactose in the cheese isn't making you sick enough, the fat and cholesterol in the red meat isn't clogging your arteries enough, and the white flour isn't clogging up your butt enough, throw in some hooves and ears (or beaks and feet if it's a chicken hot dog) into the crust. Oh, there's no time to pick up a phone. You need one right now. Order online! While you're at it, you may as well call the paramedics. The amount of time between suffering a heart attack and receiving treatment is critical for recovery. Invite them in to watch TV with you while you wait for your coronary.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Friday 23 January 2009
Spank the monkey!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"
Tuesday 5 August 2008
Q & A's from around the web
What exercise should a man do to have a round, firm & solid hard butt?
Eat cement.
Eat cement.
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