Israeli commandos cleared of wrongdoing

An Israeli military investigation into the raid on a flotilla of Gaza-bound aid ships, has concluded that "the use of live fire" that killed nine activists "was justified".

The investigation, conducted by an army committee, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the officers involved in the May 31 raid.

The team determined that the Navy Commando soldiers operated properly, with professionalism, bravery and resourcefulness and that the commanders exhibited correct decision making," the Israeli army said in a statement on Monday.

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In other news, the AIG probe into the company's massive losses caused by the creation of worthless mortgage-based assets which required huge infusions of taxpayer money to bail out the company, has found that the executives' actions were justified.

The study, undertaken by the AIG board of directors, also found that mistakes were made "at quite a senior level" but did not recommend punishments for any of the principles involved in the scheme.

The board determined that the executives operated properly, with professionalism, creativity and resourcefulness and that they exhibited "correct decision making".

The Vatican announced today that after examining the evidence regarding twenty-three priests accused of sexually molesting 179 young boys, it was clear the clerics had carried out their duties with honour and selflessness and have all been invited to Rome for "a major shindig" which the Pontiff himself said would "rock this town".


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The world has gone mad

Insurance giant AIG reported the largest corporate loss in history in the fourth quarter--a whopping $61.7 billion! You'd think that would be enough for them to slash salaries across the board, right? Wrong. They are handing out $165 million in bonuses mostly to members of the group responsible for the massive losses stemming from risky credit default swaps. Doh!

The kicker is that AIG was given $170 billion (yes, with a "b") in bailout money to help keep it afloat. These executives keep singing the same, tired song. We need to give bonuses so that we can retain the best talent. Duh! If you had any talent on board at all, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Here's a radical idea: Fire all those responsible for the current mess you find yourselves in and hire three truly talented individuals for every four dead wood you fire and pay each of the new hires 25% more. Here's another insane idea: Pay according to performance. What, common sense is not a pre-req to getting an MBA?