Poker secret

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Celebrities' secret identities

Today, I was watching a WPT (World Poker Tour) event on TV and they showed a clip of one of those glamour girls they have at such events and I almost fell out of my chair. To give you a better idea of how startled I was, I wasn't even in a chair at the time! She was a dead ringer for another well-known celebrity.

I jumped to my computer (okay, I walked over really quickly--I didn't want to fall again) to find out who she was. It didn't take long, but few of the images I was looking at resembled her very much and certainly not the celeb she struck me as a perfect match to. Except for this one small image. First, let me first show you one of her more flattering poses that no doubt got her the gig with the WPT.

Here is the lovely Sabina Gadecki:




Does she remind you of anyone? Think for a few moments? Yes? No? It doesn't really matter--you'd be wrong.

Okay, I'll let you in on it. Don't you think she looks exactly like Bill Maher? No, there was no crash of my computer and all my files got mixed up. Bill Maher...couldn't she be his daughter? Yes, this Bill Maher...






Look at her. Look at him. Aren't the identical?

By now, you must be thinking I lost my mind. Let's try it this way--I'll put them side by side and then you can more easily judge if there's any resemblance at all. I'm sure you'll see it, then.


Here they are:



Just like I said--dead ringer, right? No? Are you sure? What about these photos of the same two people?





Is this Bill Maher's long, lost love child? Is it Bill Maher in drag?


To see other "celebrities' secret identities" that I've discovered, click here.



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Poker adventures

Last night I played a NL draw poker tourney. There were 6,000 entrants and they pay top 48.

After a few hours, I am getting low on chips. I get dealt a straight. I make a small raise before the draw hoping to spur a re-raise. The very next player who has me covered goes all-in. As I go to position the mouse over the "call" button, I'm hit with a power failure. If it had come one second later, I would have won a big pot and had a good chance to finish in the money. Instead, I lost whatever I had bet and struggled to finish around 150th.

The bizarre thing is that the rain was so brief and so light that it was surprising that it produced lightning at all. It's as if the poker gods, sensing I was about to finish well, contacted Thor and...

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Another typical poker tourney (typical for me)

Last night, I played in a .05, yes, five cent poker tourney. There was nothing else available within the time frame I was willing to wait at my very unpopular poker site. It gets quieter and quieter. I'm sure it will close down any day now. I'm wondering if I should take my money out now.

Anyway, at one point I announce: "30 hands dealt, not one playable hand." (I played a few hands from my blinds with very little and had to fold.)

At hand 37, I get dealt JJ. I am in late position and someone in early position raised 3x or 4xbb before the flop and gets 3 callers including me. Flop comes 99Q. The pre-flop raiser makes a large bet, next guy calls, next guy makes a big raise. Of course, I would be all-in if I made the ridiculous call--I fold. Early guy re-raises and is all-in. Next guy calls and is all-in. Early guy had KK. Next guy had garbage. Last guy had QQ.

After hand 40, with my chips about = 5xbb and still not having seen a river, I announce: "I have a feeling when I go all-in, I'll be outdrawn."

A few hands later, I'm the SB and everyone folds to me. I'm holding A4 and by now, I'm thoroughly frustrated and I go all-in. The guy calls with KT. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. Flop is KTx

I'm out.

Since I'm "not allowed" to win consistently, maybe I should put together a book of my poker (mis)adventures, including screen shots and hand histories. Naa, no one would buy it. And by "buy it", I mean "believe it". Well...both.

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Poker room chat

Three guys (Sweet Elias is a male) vying for the affections of a young woman (Alma) in a play money poker room...

Sean Stevens: hi sweetheart love u so much
Vinny Marino: I must have come to the dating site by mistake.
Sweet elias A: hi
C Alma Zaldivar: hi sweety
Sweet elias A: h r u ?
C Alma Zaldivar: im f9 and u
Sweet elias A: me to thax
C Alma Zaldivar: ty fot the comments u send me
Sweet elias A: always welcome
Sweet elias A: ty
Sean Stevens: flower for my lovely woman
Sweet elias A: nice
Jimmy Clarck: hi babe
Sean Stevens: back off clarck
Jimmy Clarck: our dog is here
Jimmy Clarck: hi Sean
Jimmy Clarck: plz Sean
Jimmy Clarck: can you bark little
Sean Stevens: now ur the dog who follow us
C Alma Zaldivar: shut up both of u
Jimmy Clarck: follow us?
Jimmy Clarck: ****
Sean Stevens: as u say sweetheart
Jimmy Clarck: she will not answer you
Jimmy Clarck: she ignore you
Jimmy Clarck: hunnie
Sean Stevens: she ask me not to talk to u bastered
Jimmy Clarck: is it right babe???
Jimmy Clarck: answer this shi t dog
C Alma Zaldivar: i said stop fighting like animals infront of others
Jimmy Clarck: is it right?
Jimmy Clarck: did you say this?
C Alma Zaldivar: i said to shut up both of u


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Customer service adventure

Thank you for visiting our Member Services Area.
A customer service representative will be with you soon.
Welcome to live help, my name's Bob, how may I help you?

Bob: Hello
Bob: how can I help you?
Vince: hi
Vince: I got an e-mail from TigerGaming about the account switch...
Vince: It said that as a former PokerInCanada member, I would be given a $15 bonus as soon as I made my first deposit...
Vince: It never came.
Bob: have you already made your deposit?
Vince: yes
Bob: May I have your sign in name and email address please?
Vince: I entered it before the chat started.
Bob: if you want me to assist you, I need your info
Bob: May I have your sign in name and email address please?
Vince: xxx
Vince: xxx@xxx
Bob: when did you make the deposit?
Vince: About 20 mins ago.
Bob: one moment please while I check your account
Vince: Why ask for the info twice? If you want to be snarky, you can say good-bye to the business that I've been giving you for years.
Bob: sir some people put in wrong information. we need to verify it.
Bob: do you still want me to assist you?
Vince: I should think so. You owe me some money.
You must make a lot of people angry.: You should get your chat software fixed. It seems to have switched my name with the last sentence I typed.
You must make a lot of people angry.: Here's a suggestion...
You must make a lot of people angry.: Check the original information the user enters and if it's wrong, ask again.
Bob: the money has been added to your account
You must make a lot of people angry.: Thank-you.
You must make a lot of people angry.: Have a nice day.

Woo Hoo!

The good news: I just finished an online poker tourny where I finished eleventh out of 2,382 entrants!

The bad news: It was only a freeroll (free to enter with very small prize money put up by the poker site), so all I won for my three hours of "work" was two dollars. Yes, you read it right.

Cry me a river

It's been an awful drought--much longer than a player of my skill level should have to weather (get it? drought/weather?), but finally the cards went my way and I won a poker tourney today. I swear the number of times I am ahead in a hand only to be called outrageously by players with nothing but hope, only to lose it on the river is statistically impossible...exponentially, statistically impossible. There is something else at play. After months of pain-staking investigation, intense scrutiny, thorough examination, in-depth computer analysis, and losing tens of dollars, it turns out there's a simple explanation:

Odd News

A New York City man who was forced to leave a casino because patrons complained to staff has filed a complaint about his treatment with the Casino Control Commission. The man was followed into the restroom by a poker room manager and was told of the complaints from other gamblers. The stinky guy returned to his table but was asked to leave.

I don't know about you, but if in a bizarro world I was a 54 year old, 440 pound person who was gambling for 17 hours straight and I was told discreetly that half the casino was vomiting from the odour emanating from my body, the last thing I would do is go back to my seat to face my accusers. And if I had arrived by taxi, I would walk home, no matter how far, to avoid getting on a bus or into a cab near other people. What does this guy do? He makes a scene and then headlines with his antics. And now he demands an apology. You want an apology, Mr. Wax? We're sorry your B.O. will remain ingrained in the minds of our more fragrant clients whose business we may never see again thanks to you.