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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Thursday, 21 May 2015
Monday, 11 November 2013
Sunday, 7 April 2013
Thursday, 31 March 2011
Molson Canadian Beer commericals
Some of my favourites:
Embedding not allowed on this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y09YOkVmGg0
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Embedding not allowed on this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y09YOkVmGg0
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Monday, 5 July 2010
Wednesday, 23 June 2010
Shit my dad said...
When the family was huddled around the TV watching circus performers, gymnasts or figure skaters:
"Ha! You think they have to get up at 5 a.m. and work construction?"
As if anyone could perform a triple somersault on the flying trapeze if not for other commitments.
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"Ha! You think they have to get up at 5 a.m. and work construction?"
As if anyone could perform a triple somersault on the flying trapeze if not for other commitments.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Monday, 21 June 2010
Wednesday, 16 June 2010
Q & A's from around the web
I'm a fat dude. Is it possible to get a skinny girl?
"to get" as in capture?
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"to get" as in capture?
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Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Portrait of an alleged terrorist training camp
Not only does Canada produce more comics per capita than any other country, apparently, even alleged Canadian terrorists are a funny bunch.
A less nefarious picture of an alleged terrorist training camp emerged Thursday, when a Brampton court heard attendees were forced to sleep in a van because of sub-zero temperatures, participated in military marches to avoid hypothermia and squealed when a field mouse ran into a tent.
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A less nefarious picture of an alleged terrorist training camp emerged Thursday, when a Brampton court heard attendees were forced to sleep in a van because of sub-zero temperatures, participated in military marches to avoid hypothermia and squealed when a field mouse ran into a tent.
The portrait of an “utterly disorganized” camp, surfaced as defence lawyer Michael Moon cross-examined police agent Mubin Shaikh, who infiltrated the alleged homegrown terror cell in late 2005.
Court was told that when members of the group attended a December 2005 camp in Washago, Ont., some were terrified a fictional pack of wolves was stalking them, two men cut themselves chopping wood and one nearly lit himself ablaze while pouring fuel onto the campfire.
“These guys were lucky to get out of Washago alive,” Moon suggested to Shaikh, who is testifying at the trial of Fahim Ahmad, Steven Chand and Asad Ansari, members of the so-called Toronto 18, which was busted up by police on June 2, 2006.
Shaikh, the only one who had the foresight to bring a winter tent, said he never believed the campers were at risk of death because they could sleep in their vehicles. But, he testified, “there was a real risk of hypothermia.”
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Thursday, 11 March 2010
Could you use a chuckle?
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his boots?
He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time
on the right feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she
struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little
feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,
'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'
He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'
She will be eligible for parole in three years.
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He asked for help and she could see why.
Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on.
By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.
She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were.
It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time
on the right feet.
He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'
She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,
'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she
struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little
feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said,
'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.'
Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'
He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'
She will be eligible for parole in three years.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Monday, 1 March 2010
Q & A's from around the web
Can alcohol kill a fresh herpes virus?
Booze is probably responsible for you getting it in the first place. And quite possibly in the second place.Click here to go to most recent posts.
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Born that way
Even very young children exhibit innate characteristics of their sex. Here are a couple of examples of such behaviours.
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Monday, 15 February 2010
Q & A's from around the web
im nauseaious in the morning, boobs are kind of sore, back aches, headaches, butterflies in my stomach, and horrible headaches. could i be pregnant?
you might be pregnant but it might be in your head.
It's very unlikely you're pregnant in your head, unless of course...
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you might be pregnant but it might be in your head.
It's very unlikely you're pregnant in your head, unless of course...
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Friday, 12 February 2010
Friday, 15 January 2010
Misheard lyrics
Here is the best (and most astounding) example of misheard lyrics. You know how some songs have a few words that can be misconstrued to be something else? Like the ones in Hendrix's Purple Haze where "Scuse me while I kiss this guy" is really "Scuse me while I kiss the sky". Prepare to be amazed and to LOL. After you view the video, have a look at the "true" lyrics I've conveniently posted below. "True" is in quotes because I don't think anyone knows for sure what the real lyrics are. I'm sure there are errors in these lyrics, but they seem more reasonable than any others I've examined.
Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam
Unsealed on a porch a letter sat.
Then you said, "I wanna leave it again."
Once I saw her on a beach of weathered sand. And on the sand I wanna leave it again. Yeah.
On a weekend I wanna wish it all away, yeah.
And they called and I said that "I want what I said" and then I call out again.
And the reason oughta' leave her calm, I know.
I said "I know what I waited not the box or the bag."
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don't want to stay.
Make me cry...
I see... Ooh I don't know why there's something else.
I wanna drum it all away... [ ;-) ]
Oh, I said, "I don't, I don't know whether was the box or the bag."
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don't wanna stay at all.
I don't wanna stay. Yeah.
I don't wanna stay. (x2)
I don't... Don't wanna, oh... Yeah. Ooh... Ohh...
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Yellow Ledbetter - Pearl Jam
Unsealed on a porch a letter sat.
Then you said, "I wanna leave it again."
Once I saw her on a beach of weathered sand. And on the sand I wanna leave it again. Yeah.
On a weekend I wanna wish it all away, yeah.
And they called and I said that "I want what I said" and then I call out again.
And the reason oughta' leave her calm, I know.
I said "I know what I waited not the box or the bag."
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don't want to stay.
Make me cry...
I see... Ooh I don't know why there's something else.
I wanna drum it all away... [ ;-) ]
Oh, I said, "I don't, I don't know whether was the box or the bag."
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don't wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don't wanna stay at all.
I don't wanna stay. Yeah.
I don't wanna stay. (x2)
I don't... Don't wanna, oh... Yeah. Ooh... Ohh...
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Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Funnier then werds
Let's face it--English is butchered every second of every day on iPhones, Blackberries and the internet. But, every once in a while, I come across some spelling or grammar that demands special mention. I just saw the following...
when i get through with them they minus well die
The context indicates that this person meant to say "they might as well die". I'm guessing she also failed math.
when i get through with them they minus well die
The context indicates that this person meant to say "they might as well die". I'm guessing she also failed math.
Thursday, 19 February 2009
I see unfunny people
They don't know they're unfunny. They just walk around like regular people.
I recently watched a TV show that purported to list the "top ten most amazing comedy teams". When they reached number seven in the count-down and failed to mention even one of the true best comedy teams, I wondered if a) they were only listing people who were still alive, and or b) were saving the best for the top honours. But then they mentioned Jack Lemon and Walter Mathau (both deceased). I squirmed uneasily and continued watching.
They mentioned two or three people whom I had never heard of as one half of several teams and when they chose Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi as the number one team, I almost had a heart attack. I wish I had had one before they assaulted my senses with their ridiculous list.
With all due respect to some of their choices, how can anyone who has a modicum of understanding and exposure to comedy exclude ALL of the following comedy teams?
Abbot and Costello
Laurel and Hardy
The Three Stooges
The Marx Brothers
The Smothers Brothers
Martin and Lewis
The kicker to this sick story is that in describing one of the teams, the narrator compared them to "a modern-day Laurel and Hardy". If such a comparison is so flattering, how do you justify not having Laurel and Hardy in the list??? Do you realize how many people are involved in putting together a TV show? Hundreds. And this is the best all those comedy geniuses could come up with? Puhlease.
If you haven't seen this, there's still time to win the "grand" prize. Submit your guess, today!
I recently watched a TV show that purported to list the "top ten most amazing comedy teams". When they reached number seven in the count-down and failed to mention even one of the true best comedy teams, I wondered if a) they were only listing people who were still alive, and or b) were saving the best for the top honours. But then they mentioned Jack Lemon and Walter Mathau (both deceased). I squirmed uneasily and continued watching.
They mentioned two or three people whom I had never heard of as one half of several teams and when they chose Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi as the number one team, I almost had a heart attack. I wish I had had one before they assaulted my senses with their ridiculous list.
With all due respect to some of their choices, how can anyone who has a modicum of understanding and exposure to comedy exclude ALL of the following comedy teams?
Abbot and Costello
Laurel and Hardy
The Three Stooges
The Marx Brothers
The Smothers Brothers
Martin and Lewis
The kicker to this sick story is that in describing one of the teams, the narrator compared them to "a modern-day Laurel and Hardy". If such a comparison is so flattering, how do you justify not having Laurel and Hardy in the list??? Do you realize how many people are involved in putting together a TV show? Hundreds. And this is the best all those comedy geniuses could come up with? Puhlease.
If you haven't seen this, there's still time to win the "grand" prize. Submit your guess, today!
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Seriously Funny Quotes
From Family Guy:
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Q & A's from around the web
What is the best dialogue to make someone happy within 1 minuets ?
Even without dialogue, listening to 1 minuet is usually enough to make me happy. :)
Even without dialogue, listening to 1 minuet is usually enough to make me happy. :)
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