Ripped from the headlines

HARRISBURG, Pa. – A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said that as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.

Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

The suspect is also awaiting trial on four previous robbery charges.

The suspect was arraigned and taken to Dauphin County Prison. When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, "I'm smooth."

Smooth? I'd say this guy is crunchy--as in nuts.

Celebrities' secret identities

Just when you thought it was safe to take a shower...



...the psycho goes from scaring thousands of theatre goers to scaring millions of Ontarions.



Top: Anthony Perkins in "Psycho".
Bottom: Dalton McGuinty - Premier of Ontario, Canada.

Celebrities' secret identities

I was reading a technical article in ZDNet and I believe I found PeeWee Herman's moonlighting job. Tell me I'm wrong.

Dancho (PeeWee) Danchev:

Returning from the edge of the abys...and obese

I've been a fan of hers for over 35 years ever since I watched her at the age of fifteen (her age, not mine) on the hit TV series "One Day at a Time". Her sweet looks and the apparent lack of scandal that often follows child stars, kept her close to my heart over the years. It didn't hurt that she had an Italian surname as I do.

I was delighted to "see her again" after being out of the spotlight for, gulp, decades, when she started doing Jenny Craig commercials. Of course, I had no idea that the petite girl had let herself get "very large", and I think I'm being kind when I use that term, but I was pleased as all-get-out to see that she had whooped her disorder and was much slimmer at the time of the commercials.

I have a thing about over-weight people--not a good thing. I can't seem to get past it. It's a personality flaw (mine, not theirs). Sooo, I felt that Bertinelli was still kind of chubby. There's a word I like to use for attractive women who are a bit overweight--"thick". Every time I saw one of her commercials, as much as I squinted, I just couldn't quite shoe-horn her into the "thick" category.

Maybe it was the image that I carried around so long that made the "new" Valerie look to me to be bigger than she really was. Regardless, I got a very pleasant surprise today. I happened on an ad for a People Magazine story about Bertinelli getting into a bikini to celebrate her 49th birthday.

I have another quirk, and again, not a good thing--I keep forgetting how old I am (and look) and catch myself being too critical of others about my age and sometimes even much younger than I. But, I have to admit that this fine lady looks as good in a bikini today as anyone at any age does. She has completely returned from obesity. To have come back around to "thick" would have been terrific, but she has come all the way back to a slim, beautiful, vivacious "girl".

Congratulations, Valerie! Your adoring fans would love to see you on the screen again, big or small (the screen, not your size)!

I sure hope they didn't photoshop her image. A guy with even my poor skills can produce results like this...

I guess they didn't get the memo on obesity

A minor league baseball park in Grand Rapids, Michigan has added a major league item to its menu--an unbelievable four pound burger! The monstrosity contains 4,800 calories and it's price tag is also major league--it'll set you back $20. But they say that anyone who eats it all in one sitting will receive a special T-shirt. Mama mia! Atsa one big hamburger!