I wouldn't recognize Beyonce if she fell on me.
I couldn't pick out a single Goo Goo Doll out of a police lineup.
If my life depended on it, I couldn't name even one rap song.
The only desperate housewife I've ever known was my ex-.
Except for Susan Boyle, the name/image of no other Idol contestant resides in my brain.
Reality TV has never occupied my reality.
I consider the above quite an accomplishment.
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Monday, 4 May 2009
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Mine that Bird!
Did you hear about the Kentucky Derby winner? It was won by a Canadian-bred horse (Mine that Bird) that looked like it had no chance at all. I was at Toronto's Woodbine Raceway and before the race, I remarked to the guy beside me that if I could bet for a horse to finish last, that would be my pick. Not only did he win--he went from almost last to first in the slop and finished about seven lengths ahead of the second-place horse. He went off at 50-1. Days before, the horse was racing at a "B" track in New Mexico where he couldn't even beat those nags. I thought for sure that shortly after the race, it would be announced that he was disqualified for being juiced.
If you look at the video, he made champion horses look like they were standing still.The horse was bought (I think as a yearling) by Woodbine trainer David Cotey for (are you ready for this?) $9,500. Compare this to the $million+ paid for other Derby contenders. The horse won three stake races as a two-year-old at Woodbine and was named top two-year-old in the country. Cotey sold the animal for about $450,000 to Americans. He raced only twice before the Derby as a three-year-old at Sunland Park in New Mexico, finishing second and fourth. The connections were dreaming in technicolour when they decided to enter him in the Derby. The new trainer hauled the horse with his pickup truck for 21 hours to Churchill Downs. If you ask me, the race was an unrepeatable miracle.
Let's see what he does in the Preakness and or Belmont. Here's the video. You can hear the announcer say during the backstretch run that Mine that Bird is well back from the rest of them. As the field nears the final turn, watch for a horse coming through along the rail...
If you look at the video, he made champion horses look like they were standing still.The horse was bought (I think as a yearling) by Woodbine trainer David Cotey for (are you ready for this?) $9,500. Compare this to the $million+ paid for other Derby contenders. The horse won three stake races as a two-year-old at Woodbine and was named top two-year-old in the country. Cotey sold the animal for about $450,000 to Americans. He raced only twice before the Derby as a three-year-old at Sunland Park in New Mexico, finishing second and fourth. The connections were dreaming in technicolour when they decided to enter him in the Derby. The new trainer hauled the horse with his pickup truck for 21 hours to Churchill Downs. If you ask me, the race was an unrepeatable miracle.
Let's see what he does in the Preakness and or Belmont. Here's the video. You can hear the announcer say during the backstretch run that Mine that Bird is well back from the rest of them. As the field nears the final turn, watch for a horse coming through along the rail...
Heidi and Spencer's (and Vinny's not so) big adventure
Suddenly, I was hearing reference after reference to Heidi and Spencer's wedding. After about a week of this, I finally decided to try and find out who the heck these "celebrities" that I've never heard of are. After a few searches, reading articles and viewing videos, I learnt who they are. Now, I'm wondering why they are.
In the old days, many very talented people never had the luck to become a household name. It seems to me that these days, the most extraordinarily ordinary people are given (at least) five minutes of fame. If you have any aspirations of greatness at all, don't give up. You will surely get a chance. By the way, it seems to help if you're shallow, annoying and act like you're the greatest thing since the internet.
In the old days, many very talented people never had the luck to become a household name. It seems to me that these days, the most extraordinarily ordinary people are given (at least) five minutes of fame. If you have any aspirations of greatness at all, don't give up. You will surely get a chance. By the way, it seems to help if you're shallow, annoying and act like you're the greatest thing since the internet.
Sunday, 3 May 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Ok, Well I am taking AP classes next year, and I always have a fear the teacher will say "Are you in the write class?" This is a more advanced English class. Honest question, to all races. If you saw a Black girl in an AP class, what is the first thing to pop up in your mind?
Wow she must be really smart to be hear.
Editor's note: Who said today's youth have trouble with English?
Wow she must be really smart to be hear.
Editor's note: Who said today's youth have trouble with English?
Thursday, 30 April 2009
The Horror Part II
I forgot to mention in Part I that they also gave me a couple of injections in the abdomen, just for fun. I also forgot to mention the joy of not being able to wash/clean/shave/shampoo very well if at all while you have an IV stuck in your wrist or the inside of your elbow.
Before you have time to get over "Angiogram Day", it's "Angioplasty Day". I've never been in an ambulance, but I imagine the ride is much smoother than the transport vehicle used to shuttle me to and from the hospital specializing in performing angioplasty procedures. It didn't bother me very much on the way there, but coming back was a pain in the...back. I'll explain in a bit.
An angioplasty is a procedure to repair damage that shows up on an angiogram. It is done in two possible ways:
a) A balloon is inflated (and subsequently deflated) at a site where an artery is restricted in order to allow better blood flow.
b) A stent (tube/sleeve) is positioned at a restricted site to prevent it from future blockage.
I had one of each. You may be awake (as I was) during the procedure and the pain in the chest is very similar to a heart attack. I felt it for about the next 24 hours.
As soon as they finished, a nurse came by and said "Oops" and proceeded to describe the egg-sized balloon in my groin that had formed because of some problem with removal of the catheter. She managed to resolve this not uncommon occurrence by pressing on it with all her weight for about the next twenty minutes. Do I need to mention that it wasn't pleasant? Ouch.
Now, began the four hours of lying perfectly still on your back. As they rolled me out to the transport vehicle, my back was already starting to hurt. The bumpy ride back to the original hospital through rush hour traffic wasn't pleasant or scenic as all I could see in my position were light standards. As we neared (I asked) our destination, I was silently praying that the pain in my back that was now slowly gathering at my kidney just like the day before, did not reach Level 10 before they got me to my room.
I was in bed with only minutes to spare before I had to ask for a shot of morphine for the pain. Two more days of misery were endured before I was discharged.
You do not want to go through such an experience. It doesn't help, either that I now must take five different medications daily at a cost of about $450 per month for the rest of my life.
While going between hospitals, I spoke to the attendants about the falling average age of heart attack victims. They confirmed that large numbers of people in their thirties and even some in their twenties are falling victim to coronary disease and heart attacks. Obesity is one contributing factor. Today's sedentary lifestyles that keep people glued to TV and or a PC instead of getting out and exercising is another.
Heed my advice. You don't need to make a wholesale change today. Take small steps. Reduce your fat intake. Take more frequent walks. Eat more fruit and veggies. If you think it'll put a crimp in your lifestyle, you might want to consider that a heart attack will put a much bigger crimp in it...if you're lucky.
Before you have time to get over "Angiogram Day", it's "Angioplasty Day". I've never been in an ambulance, but I imagine the ride is much smoother than the transport vehicle used to shuttle me to and from the hospital specializing in performing angioplasty procedures. It didn't bother me very much on the way there, but coming back was a pain in the...back. I'll explain in a bit.
An angioplasty is a procedure to repair damage that shows up on an angiogram. It is done in two possible ways:
a) A balloon is inflated (and subsequently deflated) at a site where an artery is restricted in order to allow better blood flow.
b) A stent (tube/sleeve) is positioned at a restricted site to prevent it from future blockage.
I had one of each. You may be awake (as I was) during the procedure and the pain in the chest is very similar to a heart attack. I felt it for about the next 24 hours.
As soon as they finished, a nurse came by and said "Oops" and proceeded to describe the egg-sized balloon in my groin that had formed because of some problem with removal of the catheter. She managed to resolve this not uncommon occurrence by pressing on it with all her weight for about the next twenty minutes. Do I need to mention that it wasn't pleasant? Ouch.
Now, began the four hours of lying perfectly still on your back. As they rolled me out to the transport vehicle, my back was already starting to hurt. The bumpy ride back to the original hospital through rush hour traffic wasn't pleasant or scenic as all I could see in my position were light standards. As we neared (I asked) our destination, I was silently praying that the pain in my back that was now slowly gathering at my kidney just like the day before, did not reach Level 10 before they got me to my room.
I was in bed with only minutes to spare before I had to ask for a shot of morphine for the pain. Two more days of misery were endured before I was discharged.
You do not want to go through such an experience. It doesn't help, either that I now must take five different medications daily at a cost of about $450 per month for the rest of my life.
While going between hospitals, I spoke to the attendants about the falling average age of heart attack victims. They confirmed that large numbers of people in their thirties and even some in their twenties are falling victim to coronary disease and heart attacks. Obesity is one contributing factor. Today's sedentary lifestyles that keep people glued to TV and or a PC instead of getting out and exercising is another.
Heed my advice. You don't need to make a wholesale change today. Take small steps. Reduce your fat intake. Take more frequent walks. Eat more fruit and veggies. If you think it'll put a crimp in your lifestyle, you might want to consider that a heart attack will put a much bigger crimp in it...if you're lucky.
I just realized that I left out one of the best parts of my ordeal. The morning I was to check out, for no apparent reason, my nose started bleeding. I may have blown it--not sure, but there certainly was no picking involved. Anyway, I used a few kleenex, tried the old plug up the nose trick, but to no avail. I finally call the nurse and she gives me more and more kleenex, and then a cloth with cold water, advised me to tilt my head back, etc. Still, it won't stop. They wheel me down to emerg, a doctor comes in and proceeds to shove some kind of thick wadding so deep inside my nasal cavity that it feels like it's half way down my throat. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. I couldn't breath well, speak well, swallow well--it almost felt like I was choking. I didn't even bother to tell you how it hurt when he unexpectedly shoved it in in one fell swoop. I imagine it to be comparable to having a large penis shoved all at once into a virgin. Unfortunately, for me, I didn't get an orgasm out of the deal. Hell, I didn't get dinner or a movie.
I ask how long I must endure this misery and he thinks for a second and then says "Come back Monday". It was Friday. That was the longest long weekend I ever spent. It was driving me crazy. Imagine having a partial birth and then going home for three days before coming back to deliver the thing stuck between your legs.
Monday finally comes and I'm in the hospital waiting to have the demon exorcised from my face. How was I to know that the evil lodged in my head would hurt five times more exiting than it did entering? Yowsa! I guess the batting had secured itself in there to the blood and the walls of my nasal cavity and as the wicked snake was slowly pulled out, it did not want to let go. The relief I felt when it was finally out was similar to that spent feeling after a rigorous lovemaking session. But again, without the pleasure.
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