I pulled back the shower curtain to turn on the water, and the enormity of it startled me--one of the biggest earwigs I've ever seen! Where did he come from!? I run a tight ship, and a clean ship. As I watched the Great Beast seemingly run in every direction at once, I figured he could only have come from The Depths of Hell.
I turned on the water, and continued to watch Wigasaurus. It came in my direction as far up the side of the bathtub as he could, but twice I flicked his azz back, the second time, into the water, but somehow, he managed to extricate himself, and climbed up a little on the far side of the tub. Dances with Demons stopped to catch his breath, and assess the situation.
I thought the wayward water droplets would slide him back into the water, but this was no ordinary bug. It was clearly the Bug from Hell. Well, since I couldn't easily reach it. I decided to get into the tub...from the rear...where I always get into the tub. Really.
There he stood, not moving a muscle. I wondered if he was playing possum, or had he been scalded, and somehow was stuck to the tub. I cupped my hands and got them full of water, and water bombed the Thing of Evil. Nothing. I tried again with the same result.
This Colossal Bug required colossal thinking to eradicate it, but I had no tools to work with. I cupped my hands again, and reloaded. This time I dive bombed down to within a hair's breath of him, and let Wigzilla have it.
Splash! And away into the swirling water he went, carrying the Spawn of the Devil back to his unearthly origin. As I showered, my gaze kept returning to the drain, almost expecting to see Wigfoot scoot back out to torment me, once again. It seems I had won!
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