Thursday 20 September 2012

Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

So, I was playing Fifth Grader on Facebook, and the following question came up.:

In what month do we celebrate Independence Day?

Well, I thought it was a "gimme". Let me say off the top that I am not American. Still, I think that when the greatest superpower in our lifetime, perhaps of all time, celebrates their birthday every year for over 250 years now, people would notice--wouldn't ya think? I mean, c'mon--the question didn't even ask for the exact date. And it provided four possible answers! Ai carumba.

Judging by the names of the people I was playing against (good, Christian names), and other factors, I have to assume that most of the players were American. Would you be surprised if I told you that five out of the ten contestants got the question wrong? You are NOT smarter than a fifth grader.


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Wednesday 19 September 2012

How it's made

What popular food item is produced by combining these ingredients?:

Enriched flour (wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, palm oil, soybean oil, sugar, leavening (sodium acid pyrophosphate, baking soda, monocalcium phosphate, glucono delta lactone), nonfat milk, dextrose, defatted soy flour, rye flour, whey, buttermilk, egg yolk, eggs, mono and diglycerides, milk protein concentrate, salt, soy lecithin, modified corn starch, sodium diacetate, sodium stearoyl lactylate, sodium propionate, dextrin, tapioca starch, guar gum, meltodextrin, natural and artificial flavor, butter, karaya gum, nutmeg oil, yellow 5, red 40, polysorbate 60, sugar, water, maltodextrin. propylene Glycol, sorbic acid, agar agar, natural and artificial flavors, heliotropine, hydrochloric acid.

Hydrochloric acid! What went through someone's head when they were preparing a list of ingredients to buy when they decided to make a fresh batch of...doughnuts. Yes! Doughnuts! Hydrochloric acid! Maybe the baker originally left out the ingredient from the shopping list, but as his assistant was walking away and looking over the ingredients, he stopped in his tracks, turned around and said "Bob, you forgot to add hydrochloric acid".

And what the heck is "agar agar"? Is it a double dose of "agar"? I understand why a muumuu isn't a just a muu (so as not to be confused with a moo of course), but what's agar agar's excuse? I had to look this up. As it turns out, agar agar is yet another delicious part of some of our favourite doughnuts. Specifically, it is "a vegetarian gelatin substitute produced from a variety of seaweed vegetation". I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly thinking fondly of that next doughnut I'll eat.

If you don't believe me, check out these links:

http://www.honeydewdonuts.com/products/nutrition/donuts/honey-dip-sticks

http://dairyfreecooking.about.com/od/dairyfreeglossary/g/AgarAgar.htm

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Thursday 30 August 2012

World title slips from my grasp

Yesterday, I lost my bid to break a world record. After more than six months of a daily grind, it was all for naught.

Around last February, it was brought to my attention that a very long hair was growing out of my arm. It was as shocking to me as it was to my girlfriend. I kind of forgot about it/ignored it, but once in a while, I've checked to see if it's still there. It could easily fall out as I scrub my arms with a washcoth every day in the shower. Somehow, the hair as thin as a, um hair has managed to weather the (shower) storm.

Yesterday, I decided to check what the Guinness record is for an arm hair. Much to my surprise, it was just a tad longer than mine...assuming a "tad" is equal to about three inches. So, how long is my "Olympic-sized" lil feller? It's about 2 3/4 inches. Yes, that's right, Virginia--the world record is 5 3/4 inches.

But I'm not throwing in the (bath) towel yet. I'm going to do some research and see if there isn't some diet and or exercise I can do to help my hairy arm get into the record books. This may be my last shot at greatness, but I won't stoop so low as to start doping to give my fur an unhair unfair advantage.

Wish me luck!

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