There's something in the air

There must be toxicity building in the air above Canada. Canadians seem to have developed a tolerance for it since there have been no accounts of us acting strange or demented. I mean no more than usual. But clearly something is affecting visitors to this country causing them to act in bizarre ways.

How else can one explain last Wednesday's Britney Spears debacle in Vancouver where she walked off the stage without explanation fifteen minutes into her performance? Ten minutes after her unceremonious departure, it was announced that the excessive smoke in the venue was the reason cited for the booze-drinking, drug-taking, party-girl's exit. She didn't return for almost a half hour before continuing the show, but it later became clear that the highly toxic Canadian air was still affecting her mind. At the end of the show, the lovely Ms. Spears implored her audience to "Drive safe. Don't smoke weed! Rock out with your cocks out!"

On the same day, 2,000 miles away another visitor to Canada was even more severely affected by the mysterious "devil air" that has permeated the whole country. Billy Bob Thornton was doing a radio interview in Toronto for CBC. He became incensed that...what the hey, watch it and judge for yourself whether he was acting under the influence of some horrible unseen force.



One day after the interview, the band was playing a date at Toronto's Massey Hall and BBT was strangely compelled to make a reference to said interview, only to be jeered by the crowd. Days later, it was announced that BBT's band cancelled the remaining Canadian tour dates. I'll keep an eye out for any other odd behaviour by visitors to Canada and keep you apprised.