I'm an old geezer

It's official. I am losing more hair--wait, it's not what you think. It was decades ago when I first started seeing large amounts of hair going down the shower drain every morning. It was painful to watch at first, but eventually, I came to accept its inevitability. This was especially difficult for a guy who once did not get a haircut for three and a half years, easily reaching behind my back and grasping my hair, which was half way down my back.

Now that my hair is very sparse, it seems that I am losing less of it to the drain, but something more sinister and distressing is occurring. Each morning, after showering, I stand in front of the basin and mirror, shaving, brushing, primping, spraying, etc. The other day, as I started to clean the area, I noticed that there were an assortment of hairs all about. That's not the distressing part.

To a third party, it might not have been given any notice at all, but as the owner of all those precious hairs, it meant a lot. What I witnessed were hairs of every possible origin. There were hairs from my head, perhaps a moustache hair, there may have been a nose hair or two, I saw at least one eye lash and I was fairly certain a thick and outlandishly long eye brow hair sat in the sink. It's anyone's guess whether a hair from an ear had joined the others just to make sure all sources were represented.

Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much. About six to eight months ago, I bought a battery-operated ear/nose hair trimmer and I've been very happy with it, relieving people of having to nervously look away after spotting the unsightly and embarrassing growth. Oh, I had tried my best to trim it with very small scissors, but it was always a job badly done and not without its dangers. On one occasion, a sudden sharp pain in my nose signalled I had cut something I shouldn't have. Half a tissue shoved up my nose became almost entirely soaked with blood before the stream subsided.

So, perhaps losing all this "extraneous" hair isn't such a bad thing--maybe soon, I won't have any hair left anywhere that I need to be concerned about removing...and risking my life in the process.

Q & A's from around the web

Im axin a question fo da nіggaz. Do u like KFC or Churches Chicken betta?

Editor's note: Ironically, immediately following the question above, was this question...

Does racism still exist?

New music video

For your listening pleasure, I have a new video here. I hope you like it.

Q & A's from around the web

What is the best way to get marijuana legalised?

You mean before your court date?

Vehicular Assault

Yesterday morning at 9:00 a.m., I moved my car from my building's parking lot to allow it to be cleared of snow (the lot, not the car). I parked my car across the street at a busy shopping mall. I would find out at about 4 p.m. that I had left the vehicle unlocked all day long.

As I approached the car, I noticed right away that the driver's door lock was in the raised position. I was very uneasy as I got in and checked my console and glove box, almost expecting to see something was missing. Though there was nothing of value, anyway, I breathed a sigh of relief that no one had disturbed the sanctity of my car.

If you've never had your car or home ransacked, you wouldn't know the ugly feeling of violation. It's sort of how I imagine a woman would feel after being sexually assaulted, but of course, far, far less devastating. But the thought of some low life who probably has b.o. and bad breath along with a wanton disregard for anybody's property or feelings going through your personal stuff is not a pleasant one.

There was a time when my vehicle would get broken into on a regular basis. I lost jewellery, a briefcase with personal papers inside, and even had my wire wheel covers stolen. When you first discover the crime, you feel like you could kill the bastard if he were right there.

Anyway, the absence of criminal activity on this day made me think of Michael Moore in Bowling For Columbine where he found a number of homes with unlocked doors in downtown Toronto, and commented on the contrast between Canadian and U.S. cities. I don't buy that large Canadian cities are filled with angels as Moore would have everyone believe, but it was a pleasant surprise that even in a busy shopping mall parking lot just outside Toronto, with hordes of young people from nearby schools coming and going, my open vehicle remained unsoiled by strangers' hands.