Q & A's from around the web

I hooked up with this girl from a party last week, and we started to sleep on the same bed. Since we don't know each other very well, we haven't had real "sex" yet. But we had hours of deep intense kissing, and body rubbing with underwears on. Is this a safe way to pleasure?

If you want to be 100% sure it is safe, viedotape a session and send it to me for careful analysis.

The sensitivity of cows

Have you ever noticed how most cows align themselves in a north-south direction? Actually, neither have I. But if you ever do, you'll know it's not just a happenstance. Apparently, there is now proof that cows and deer (at least) are sensitive to magnetic fields. When they are near overhead electrical wires running east-west, they tend to line up the same way. The reason they line up north-south in the absence of electrical wires is because of the earth's own magnetic field.

Notice how most of these cattle are lined up in the same direction...



The story.

The world has gone mad

Insurance giant AIG reported the largest corporate loss in history in the fourth quarter--a whopping $61.7 billion! You'd think that would be enough for them to slash salaries across the board, right? Wrong. They are handing out $165 million in bonuses mostly to members of the group responsible for the massive losses stemming from risky credit default swaps. Doh!

The kicker is that AIG was given $170 billion (yes, with a "b") in bailout money to help keep it afloat. These executives keep singing the same, tired song. We need to give bonuses so that we can retain the best talent. Duh! If you had any talent on board at all, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Here's a radical idea: Fire all those responsible for the current mess you find yourselves in and hire three truly talented individuals for every four dead wood you fire and pay each of the new hires 25% more. Here's another insane idea: Pay according to performance. What, common sense is not a pre-req to getting an MBA?

Zimbabwe's inflation woes

According to Central Statistical Office statistics, annual inflation rate rose to 231 million percent in July 2008. Central bank attempts to keep pace with hyper-inflation as prices are doubling every day.

Zimbabwe has unveiled a 100 trillion Zimbabwe dollar banknote.

The country's central bank also plans to introduce Z$10tn, Z$20tn and Z$50tn notes.

How bad is inflation in Zimbabwe? Well, consider this: at a supermarket in the capital city, toilet paper costs $417. No, not per roll. Four hundred seventeen Zimbabwean dollars is the value of a single two-ply sheet. A roll costs $145,750.

The above quoted price of toilet paper is from an article in 2006. At the prevailing inflation rate, a single sheet must cost about a million dollars(?) today.

Going out for dinner? Bring a hefty knapsack to carry the more than $1 billion you'll need.




Is America going down that same path...

Karma (and the law) catches up

The chickens have come home to roost. Peter Pocklington may die in prison if he's convicted of the fraud charges filed against him in Palm Springs, California stemming from a personal bankruptcy filing in 2008. If the name doesn't ring any bells, "Peter Puck" is the former owner of the Edmonton Oilers of the National Hockey League who was vilified by the entire country of Canada for selling Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player who ever lived, for about $18 million to the Los Angeles Kings.

The man collected enemies like kids collect hockey cards. He brought in strike breakers to settle a company dispute with workers at a company he owned which eventually closed. He had another company bailed out by the Canadian government to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars.

In his personal bankruptcy papers, he claimed he was worth $2,900. He um, forgot to mention the luxurious home he has, the contents of a storage locker, the investment companies he owns offshore and last but not least two bank accounts. This man used to boast a wine collection worth $750,000 and a house full of Renoir sketches.

At some point he left Canada because he was displeased with its socialist leanings. He preferred to be among "people who are impressed with those who get up early and make things happen." He made things happen, alright--mostly disasters left in his wake. He has had more failed companies than Michael Jackson has had surgeries.

He has a United States citizenship application currently being reviewed, but now, at 67, he is a broken man with $20 million in debts and possibly facing prison time. I'm not so sure that the Americans are as enamoured with him as he is with them. Good riddance to bad rubbish.