I know that most people have experienced the situations I am about to describe and that many couples have already discussed them, but I wonder how many have arrived at the conclusions my partner and I have. What I'm talking about are the funny things that happen to a person during and after sex. We have come up with terms for them, even if it took us a while, the main reason being #4 in the list. You'll see what I mean...
1. If you're making love and are in the throes of passion and suddenly realize you need to get a towel down to avoid creating a wet spot, you may find yourself doing what we decided to call "the sex shuffle". This is the synchronous squirming required to move that extra foot or so closer to the night stand so that the towel can be reached. A more tense version occurs if you don't notice until it's "too late". This brings me to the second term, already alluded to here in #1.
2.Trying to slide the towel underneath...whoever...is...underneath is the "sex squirm".
3. The next phrase I will describe is also chronologically next. More often than not, when one has completed a vigorous session of lovemaking, there are things one needs to do or feels like doing such as cleaning/grooming, getting a snack or getting a drink. Have you ever noticed that if you get off the bed immediately, you tend to be unsteady on your feet? Sometimes, your legs almost give out on you. Other times, you will walk into something, stub your toe, or trip. This is known as "the sex stagger". I recommend that you turn the lights on (What? They're on?!) before attempting to make a mad dash to the refrigerator.
4. The last effect is the fog your brain seems to be in immediately following sex. This can last anywhere from a couple of minutes (probably partially responsible for the sex stagger) to the time you fall asleep. Meaningful conversation should not be attempted and for God's sake, do not make any plans, promises or resolutions during this period we call "the sex stupor". It is, however, a very good time to be silly and catch up on the laughs you may not have had enough of lately.
There you have them. Please feel free to comment/share your own experiences or terms/descriptions you've discussed with your partner.
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Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Wednesday, 7 December 2011
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Monday, 10 October 2011
A different kettle of fish
So, it was about time for me to "treat" myself to a meal I don't have to cook, which I only do about every 2-4 months. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy good food, but I like a little break now and again. I stopped in at my favourite fish and chips shop and ordered halibut and chips--my usual. The last time I had it there, it cost about $12, which I was already thinking is a bit much. This time, I paid $13.51. I won't be patronizing that shop (and perhaps any others) again.
I happened to notice for the first time (not sure if it was a new sign) that the portion of halibut they give is four ounces. Given that potatoes are virtually free compared to the price of halibut, this means that I paid about $50 a pound for the pleasure of enjoying enough fish that if placed in your shoes, and you unwittingly slipped them on, chances are you wouldn't notice.
When I was a mere lad of about six, growing up in downtown Toronto, there was a Chinese fish and chip shop a block and a half from our home. Whenever you were within half a block of the place, you'd get hungry as that wonderful aroma accented by malt vinegar wafted in every direction. They served your order in a firm paper cone, wrapped in a larger newspaper cone from the previous day's news, I guess, and you got a little wooden stick with one end sharpened with which to eat it. What a deal--free reading material while you eat your lunch!
The fries were easy to eat with that stick, but the fish was another kettle of fish. Being very poor at the time, it was almost never that I got to enjoy any of the fish the place served. Matter of fact, on those rare occasions that I even got to taste the fries, one order was usually split between me and a friend or my brother and I. The fish I got to enjoy was never anything more than a small piece from a charitable friend.
The price back then?-- .10 for fries and .25 for fish and chips. No, it wasn't the 18th century.
Getting back to the crux of the matter...they are driving me to produce my own food. And don't think I won't. I will be starting a vegetable garden next spring and I mean to grow every vegetable I like that I can coax to grow in my climate. That could mean as many as thirty varieties. I'll keep you posted.
I suggest you all consider doing the same. It's time we stopped being slaves to anyone who wants to charge 50 times what they paid for something. Oh, and you should also plant fruit trees/berry bushes, etc.
Next, I'll work on trying to get off the grid and any other municipal services I can.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
I happened to notice for the first time (not sure if it was a new sign) that the portion of halibut they give is four ounces. Given that potatoes are virtually free compared to the price of halibut, this means that I paid about $50 a pound for the pleasure of enjoying enough fish that if placed in your shoes, and you unwittingly slipped them on, chances are you wouldn't notice.
When I was a mere lad of about six, growing up in downtown Toronto, there was a Chinese fish and chip shop a block and a half from our home. Whenever you were within half a block of the place, you'd get hungry as that wonderful aroma accented by malt vinegar wafted in every direction. They served your order in a firm paper cone, wrapped in a larger newspaper cone from the previous day's news, I guess, and you got a little wooden stick with one end sharpened with which to eat it. What a deal--free reading material while you eat your lunch!
The fries were easy to eat with that stick, but the fish was another kettle of fish. Being very poor at the time, it was almost never that I got to enjoy any of the fish the place served. Matter of fact, on those rare occasions that I even got to taste the fries, one order was usually split between me and a friend or my brother and I. The fish I got to enjoy was never anything more than a small piece from a charitable friend.
The price back then?-- .10 for fries and .25 for fish and chips. No, it wasn't the 18th century.
Getting back to the crux of the matter...they are driving me to produce my own food. And don't think I won't. I will be starting a vegetable garden next spring and I mean to grow every vegetable I like that I can coax to grow in my climate. That could mean as many as thirty varieties. I'll keep you posted.
I suggest you all consider doing the same. It's time we stopped being slaves to anyone who wants to charge 50 times what they paid for something. Oh, and you should also plant fruit trees/berry bushes, etc.
Next, I'll work on trying to get off the grid and any other municipal services I can.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Capitalism gone mad!
At the little supermarket across the road, they sometimes feature cases of 24, 30 or 32 bottles of water for $2.49 or $2.99. A good price if one ignores the fact that it is only water, and that you can scoop up the stuff from just about anywhere you see the 326,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons (326 million trillion gallons) of the stuff (roughly 1,260,000,000,000,000,000,000 litres). These particular bottles are 500 ml. (half a litre). For the many unwashed reading this, you can think of it as about half a quart.
That works out to less than .10 a bottle. Let's assume for purposes of this discussion that it is a fair price. Or, if you like we can double that price and go with .20 a bottle. Now, I am a frequent visitor to a certain sports venue, and I happen to know that this same size bottle is sold there for...hold your breath...$3. Outrageous! Surely, as a business, they can purchase in bulk for less than the everyday price the public pays at grocery stores.
Even assuming .20 for their cost, that means that they are realizing a profit of over 93%. If car dealers were jacking up prices as much, that $30,000 car you have your eye on might have a sticker price that reads $500,000.
Now, for the piece de resistance. My sister, recently returned from a pleasant adventure to Niagara Falls, where she visited a popular tourist trap, told me that a bottle of water was going for $5. That's right, folks. That same little bottle that might not be enough to satisfy your thirst on a hot summer's day, that is worth about .20, is sold for $5. Buy for twenty cents...sell for five dollars. Nice gig if you can get it. Or should I say "sham"?
Why do our governments allow this gouging? I'll tell you why. Government is no longer in the business of protecting or serving the people. They have switched sides and now are in cahoots with the elite, powerful and wealthy. Anything it does that remotely appears to benefit ordinary people is nothing more than a smokescreen to hide the true nature of its workings.
The time has come for us to take back our power. And the robber barons wonder what all the fuss is about on Wall Street and anywhere else they operate. Join one of the many protests and demand an end to the ever-growing gap between rich and poor.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
That works out to less than .10 a bottle. Let's assume for purposes of this discussion that it is a fair price. Or, if you like we can double that price and go with .20 a bottle. Now, I am a frequent visitor to a certain sports venue, and I happen to know that this same size bottle is sold there for...hold your breath...$3. Outrageous! Surely, as a business, they can purchase in bulk for less than the everyday price the public pays at grocery stores.
Even assuming .20 for their cost, that means that they are realizing a profit of over 93%. If car dealers were jacking up prices as much, that $30,000 car you have your eye on might have a sticker price that reads $500,000.
Now, for the piece de resistance. My sister, recently returned from a pleasant adventure to Niagara Falls, where she visited a popular tourist trap, told me that a bottle of water was going for $5. That's right, folks. That same little bottle that might not be enough to satisfy your thirst on a hot summer's day, that is worth about .20, is sold for $5. Buy for twenty cents...sell for five dollars. Nice gig if you can get it. Or should I say "sham"?
Why do our governments allow this gouging? I'll tell you why. Government is no longer in the business of protecting or serving the people. They have switched sides and now are in cahoots with the elite, powerful and wealthy. Anything it does that remotely appears to benefit ordinary people is nothing more than a smokescreen to hide the true nature of its workings.
The time has come for us to take back our power. And the robber barons wonder what all the fuss is about on Wall Street and anywhere else they operate. Join one of the many protests and demand an end to the ever-growing gap between rich and poor.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
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