Ripped from the headlines

I saw a headline for this story on the TV listings channel and then hopped over to my PC to find the full story.

A homeless man who couldn't find a warm place to spend the night was rudely awakened by police in the bank lobby he was was catching Z's in. As punishment for his crime, he was sentenced to 30 days in a larger, warmer room, this one with free meal service. I'll bet he won't want to go through that ordeal again.

The Story.

Now, you know

This video is so compelling, it just flies by. It explains the urgency with which we need to act to prevent a catastrophic meltdown of the planet--not necessarily due to global warming, but to many of the systems we take for granted every day--financial, food production, globalization, density, consumption, environment, etc. These systems are all based on infinite expansion, which is not only unsustainable, it can and will come to a screeching halt much sooner than most people think. World renowned Canadian author, broadcaster, environmentalist Dr. David Suzuki explains:

Do Not Call or Do Not Care?

Unscrupulous telemarketers (mostly based outside North America) are actually using the list as a source of names to call. In Canada, the CRTC (government body) requires telemarketers to pay a fee (dependent on which area/how many names) to download a DNC list with a risk of a $15,000 fine if they call anyone on the list. Some of these low-lifes are paying, for example, $50 for 600,000 live names on the Toronto list--it's a telemarketer's wet dream!

And just now, I stumbled upon a website whose only business is to supply telemarketers with DNC lists at wholesale prices! They are registered with the national DNC, download a fresh list each day and then resell the names at a discount to anyone who wants the names. Kind of restores you faith in humanity, doesn't it? Now, you know why you're still gettting calls.

And unless these people are based in the country they are calling, there's nothing anyone can do about it--they are out of the jurisdiction of authorities.

I am outraged and ashamed

There is no bigger proponent of multi-culturalism and racial diversity than I. I am also a proud Canadian trumpeting far and wide on this medium how great a place Canada is as the most culturally diverse country in the world. We seem to get along much better than most countries, celebrating our differences in so many ways--via parades, food fairs, picnics, festivals, etc., some of these events attracting over one million participants, many travelling from other countries to join the festivities.

But this past week, an incident has tarnished Canada's image. It is alleged that three drunken Vancouver-area, off-duty police officers brutally assaulted and robbed a man of colour. In the process, the victim alleges that one of the officers uttered a racial statement. As of this writing, no charges have been laid, but it seems very likely that there will be soon.

You may be asking yourself why I'm bringing this to light. I'm conflicted about it, really, but let me try to explain. It's not the Canadian way to sweep things under the rug. If we do wrong, we acknowledge it, hold those responsible accountable, make reparations, and fix things that need fixing. Hopefully, the publicity this case attracts will inspire authorities and politicians to work that much harder to ensure that conditions that allow something like this to happen, are rectified.

For anyone to commit such a heinous crime is appalling, but for members of those sworn "to serve and protect", it is nothing short of sickening. I just hope that justice will be served in the way of severe punishment for the guilty. The last thing we need is for the poor victim to be victimized again.

The Story.

US STOCKS-Lower open seen as Caterpillar woes weigh

...was one of the headlines this morning prompting this image in my mind:

Q & A's from around the web

How to recognize whether someone is acting or not in front of you?

If they utter the words "But soft, what light through yonder window...", there's a good chance that they are acting.

Q & A's from around the web

Why DID BUSH PROMISE TO CATCH OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD OR ALIVE THEN FAIL??

Unless Bin Laden is right next to the oil, they will never find him.

Excuse my enthusiasm

It's not often I have something to get excited about when it comes to my beloved basketball team. Last night was one of those precious times...

If anyone wasn't sure how important point guard Jose Calderon is to the success of the Toronto Raptors, they should know now. After being out for 11 games during which Raps had lost the last seven straight, Calderon's return last night punctuated his worth. He scored a game-high 23 points (on nine of ten from the field including a three-pointer), had ten assists and was a perfect four for four from the free throw line, leading Raps to an easy ten-point victory (114-104) over the Chicago Bulls. And he needed only 29 minutes to do it-he was on a minutes watch due to his return from his injury.

In doing so, Calderon became the owner of the second-longest consecutive free-throw streak in NBA history. He is a perfect 80 for 80 this season plus three from last season. The record is 97. At Jose's current pace, he may be in a position to break it within the next six games.

Q & A's from around the web

My wife broke her leg so she can't bring me beer for a while. Should I divorce her?
Serious answers only.

Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldnt go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?

Spank the monkey!

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"

Nice gig if you can get it

$14 million per year. How does that sound? That's what Brian Colangelo, Toronto Raptors President and General Manager negotiated to pay Jermaine O'Neal. This, for a guy who has a history of bad knees. It seems an excessive wager. I wouldn't pay that much for the best knees in the world. To be honest, I haven't followed NBA salaries since--well, never. But J.O.'s season seems to agree with my point of view.

He had a very slow start, putting up numbers like 4-6 points per game. Then, just as he was starting to click with a few high-scoring games, he flopped like a fish out of water. I don't recall how many games he was out for. I don't remember because he's been out several different times already and we're only in the middle of the season. He's probably missed almost as many games as he has played.

Now, there are trade rumours, but who in their right mind will take a chance on him now that they've seen confirmation that he is washed up? Colangelo, for the most part, was hailed as the second coming of Christ in Toronto, but the sheen on his halo has been fading about as fast as the Raptors have been sliding down the Eastern Division standings--currently on a seven-game losing streak.

Colangelo has collected a team of somewhat talented, nice guys who lack the killer instinct necessary to compete in the NBA. No team has blown more double-digit leads than the Raps--once coughing up an 18-point lead. They have the most porous defense in the league. I have seen players literally get out of the way to allow opposing players direct access to the basket. I don't like to name names, but his initials are "Jamario Moon". As a big basketball fan, this is almost unbearable to watch night in and night out.

This team has to be among the most underachieving in the history of the NBA. We have Chris Bosh, a strong, young mutiple all-star averaging over 20 points per game. Bargnagni, who has finally blossomed into one of the most well-rounded seven-footers in the game, also averaging over 20 in the last 10-12 games. Jose Calderon was one the premier point guards in the league before going down with a hamstring injury and who incidentally is perfect from the free-throw line for this entire season--76, I think. We have Jason Kapono, who won the three-throwing competition easily at last year's all-star game. Moon can almost fly to the moon--if he weren't afraid of getting hit. The rest of the supporting cast on a given night can shine.

Despite all that, they lose far more than their share of games. I believe the reason is that you can't have too many softies on one team--no matter how good they are. You can get away with one or two, but load up the squad and you're asking for trouble. You need toughness. And this team is lacking it big time. Are you listening, Bryan?

On Jose's free-throw streak.

And more.

On his last legs

AMSTERDAM, N.Y. – After he finished his lobster dinner, an upstate New York man apparently was still hungry for seafood so he swapped the lobster shell for crab legs — and now he faces a petit larceny charge.

Montgomery County Sheriff's deputies said a 57-year-old man brought back a reassembled lobster shell to his local Price Chopper store and claimed the crustacean was spoiled.

The store manager was about to let him trade the lobster for a $27 bag of king crab legs when he discovered the lobster was just a shell. Deputies said the man ran from the store clutching the crab legs when he was confronted.

Deputies said the man had already devoured the crab legs when they caught up with him at home. He was given an appearance ticket to answer the larceny charge in court.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The story reminded me of the turkey scene in Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation, which always makes me grin.

Black shmack

Is it just me or wouldn't the election of a black leader anywhere else in the world go by without any fanfare whatsoever? What does this say about the United States?

Let me be clear. I am happy for the American people, Black people everywhere, and even the entire rest of the world. It's just that to me, the circus around the event underscores the kind of deep-seated problems of hate and racism that have been a part of the United States since it was founded. Let's hope that Obama's inauguration signals the beginning of the end to the ongoing systemic problems that discriminate against Blacks, Hispanics and others in America.

Pope to get YouTube channel

It appears that the Pope is getting his own channel on YouTube. According to The Vatican's press office, video of the pope's speeches as well as news about the pontiff will be posted. I can't wait to see all the Pope bloopers and Pope practical jokes videos. I hear he's a riot at house parties.

Pope Benedict does his oft-requested impression of Mr. Bean:

Danger! Danger!

The actor who played one of the most memorable TV characters from my youth has passed away. Bob May died of congestive heart failure in California on Sunday. Bob is best known for the man inside the robot from the hit 1960's television series "Lost in Space".

The robot was so difficult to get into and out of that Bob would stay put during breaks in the shooting. Passersby would sometimes see smoke wafting out of the robot.

"Danger, Will Robinson" was an oft-heard phrase on the show, usually repeated while flailing his robot arms about, although the voice was provided by someone else. Will Robinson was the young son of the Robinsons who were modelled after the family in the novel "Swiss Family Robinson".

Bob May was 69.

During show's run:





1995: Bob is on the left.

Q & A's from around the web

Is there a software that can adjust the brightness of my monitor?

You behoves retrevial drivers for department's plant (graphics card, monitor).You can take it in corporation provided, produce's, upper or google.com

Editor's note: I thought I had a reasonable grasp of computers, but maybe not. I can't understand a word of the above answer. Can you?

Q & A's from around the web

What are the causes and effects of teacher retentions?

Probably too much salt in the diet.

A great, big harrah!

goes out to Seagate. As one of the largest manufacturers of hard drives in the world, and having fallen on hard times, Seagate has announced that it will reduce its workforce by 3,000. No, that's not the part that needs to be applauded. It also said that various executives' salaries will be reduced between 15% and 20%. Now, we're getting warmer. The CEO will take a 25% salary hit. Applause!

Why does the reduction of someone's pay require applause. Simple. Very quietly (to some) the gap between CEO's pay and that of the average worker has widened exponentially over the last few decades. You're probably thinking "Vin, you must be exaggerating when you use the word 'exponentially', aren't you?" Au contraire, my friend. It is almost beyond belief how the wage gap has turned into a veritable chasm.

In 1965, the average Joe's pay envelope contained only 1/24th of what The Big Kahuna's did. Back then, that difference almost sounded reasonable. But greed being the hallmark of the rich, by 1979, that difference had grown to 35. By 1989, it was 71. 1995 was a banner year--it hit the 100 times milestone. Unbelievably, it was at this point that Chief Executives' salaries really took off. By the year 2000, they were making 300 times more than Joe Lunchpail!

If you were making $40,000/year, The Grand Poobah was pulling down about $12 million. And that's not counting the myriad of stock options, bonuses and benefits which can add millions more. Baby, you're a rich man! The tech wreck caused executive pay to be reduced...but it was short-lived. The gap between the poor and the rich continued its relentless, ever-widening journey.

This graph gives a visually-startling picture of the enormity of this untenable situation. Unfortunately, it only shows data up until 2005.



On behalf of all the little guys, a hearty congratulations, Seagate, on taking a gutsy stand on executive pay. Here's hoping your peers follow your sensible and ground-breaking stand.

The Story.

Public Service Announcement

If you discover that your bank has erroneously credited your account with a large sum of money, don't spend it. In fact, report it immediately before you get some cockamamie idea in your head.

Case in point: A Pennsylvania couple is behind bars after police say they failed to call the bank when a glitch put an extra $175,000 in their account. What did these normal, hard-working people decide to do instead of reporting the error? Why, they both quit their jobs, moved to Florida and were in the process of buying a new home when the law caught up with them. Now, they each have a new home. With a courtyard. I mean an exercise yard. I think it's best that they're segregated from the general gene pool, anyway.

What's even more remarkable (there's always something more remarkable in cases like this) is the woman's defence. She said her husband, who is a roofer, often gets big pay cheques and she was unaware of any error. I guess quitting their jobs and buying a new home is pretty routine for them.

The Story.

I'm an old geezer

It's official. I am losing more hair--wait, it's not what you think. It was decades ago when I first started seeing large amounts of hair going down the shower drain every morning. It was painful to watch at first, but eventually, I came to accept its inevitability. This was especially difficult for a guy who once did not get a haircut for three and a half years, easily reaching behind my back and grasping my hair, which was half way down my back.

Now that my hair is very sparse, it seems that I am losing less of it to the drain, but something more sinister and distressing is occurring. Each morning, after showering, I stand in front of the basin and mirror, shaving, brushing, primping, spraying, etc. The other day, as I started to clean the area, I noticed that there were an assortment of hairs all about. That's not the distressing part.

To a third party, it might not have been given any notice at all, but as the owner of all those precious hairs, it meant a lot. What I witnessed were hairs of every possible origin. There were hairs from my head, perhaps a moustache hair, there may have been a nose hair or two, I saw at least one eye lash and I was fairly certain a thick and outlandishly long eye brow hair sat in the sink. It's anyone's guess whether a hair from an ear had joined the others just to make sure all sources were represented.

Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much. About six to eight months ago, I bought a battery-operated ear/nose hair trimmer and I've been very happy with it, relieving people of having to nervously look away after spotting the unsightly and embarrassing growth. Oh, I had tried my best to trim it with very small scissors, but it was always a job badly done and not without its dangers. On one occasion, a sudden sharp pain in my nose signalled I had cut something I shouldn't have. Half a tissue shoved up my nose became almost entirely soaked with blood before the stream subsided.

So, perhaps losing all this "extraneous" hair isn't such a bad thing--maybe soon, I won't have any hair left anywhere that I need to be concerned about removing...and risking my life in the process.

Q & A's from around the web

Im axin a question fo da nіggaz. Do u like KFC or Churches Chicken betta?

Editor's note: Ironically, immediately following the question above, was this question...

Does racism still exist?

New music video

For your listening pleasure, I have a new video here. I hope you like it.

Q & A's from around the web

What is the best way to get marijuana legalised?

You mean before your court date?

Vehicular Assault

Yesterday morning at 9:00 a.m., I moved my car from my building's parking lot to allow it to be cleared of snow (the lot, not the car). I parked my car across the street at a busy shopping mall. I would find out at about 4 p.m. that I had left the vehicle unlocked all day long.

As I approached the car, I noticed right away that the driver's door lock was in the raised position. I was very uneasy as I got in and checked my console and glove box, almost expecting to see something was missing. Though there was nothing of value, anyway, I breathed a sigh of relief that no one had disturbed the sanctity of my car.

If you've never had your car or home ransacked, you wouldn't know the ugly feeling of violation. It's sort of how I imagine a woman would feel after being sexually assaulted, but of course, far, far less devastating. But the thought of some low life who probably has b.o. and bad breath along with a wanton disregard for anybody's property or feelings going through your personal stuff is not a pleasant one.

There was a time when my vehicle would get broken into on a regular basis. I lost jewellery, a briefcase with personal papers inside, and even had my wire wheel covers stolen. When you first discover the crime, you feel like you could kill the bastard if he were right there.

Anyway, the absence of criminal activity on this day made me think of Michael Moore in Bowling For Columbine where he found a number of homes with unlocked doors in downtown Toronto, and commented on the contrast between Canadian and U.S. cities. I don't buy that large Canadian cities are filled with angels as Moore would have everyone believe, but it was a pleasant surprise that even in a busy shopping mall parking lot just outside Toronto, with hordes of young people from nearby schools coming and going, my open vehicle remained unsoiled by strangers' hands.

Q & A's from around the web

Sister is going to get a dog home soon. what's the focus we should train on?

Teach him that if he absolutely must lick his privates, he should leave the room first.

I wish my dog would get a job.

Wizards lack magic

to overcome the Toronto Raptors' 21-point lead. In a battle of two of the worst teams in the NBA, Raptors, true to form, built a big lead in the first half, but despite allowing Washington to get close late in the contest, Raps hung on to win 99-93. Wizards scratched their way to within 5 points with just 39 seconds remaining, but I had given them too much credit, having predicted Raps would win by only 3 pooints.

It's not easy

being a Toronto Raptor's fan. This NBA team has lost more games in which they led by double-digits than any other team in the league. Their game against the Milwaukee Bucks this past Monday was nothing short of a showcase for how to give up a lead late in a game. The Raptors had led for almost the entire game. Now, with 34 seconds left and the Raps on top by 3, I suppose it's not entirely uncommon to lose such a game. But what is very uncommon is that in those 34 seconds, Toronto allowed Milwaukee to score 13 unanswered points, winning by 10. Once again, they folded like a cheap tent.

I posted on a message board just a day before that game that the Raptors have all the talent they need to be contenders, but the one thing they lack is grit. Call it determination. Call it hunger. Call it killer instinct. Whatever you want to call it, it is what often separates winners from losers. Without it, you cannot win consistently.

Case in point: Last year, in a game against the Los Angeles Lakers, Raps led by as many as 22 points in the third quarter. This should have been enough to allow them to coast to a victory, right? Wrong. Not only did they lose the game, they gave up the lead while still in the third quarter! That was the night that Kobe Bryant scored his historic 81 points, handing the Raps a hard-to-swallow 104-122 loss.

So, the question now is what will Raptors do tonight in Washington? Really, it shouldn't matter. The Wizards have only won seven games all season. But the Raptors have lost to such teams before. It's a tough call. They may win by 20 or maybe lose by 10. Here's my prediction: Raps will build a sizable lead--perhaps 15 points. In the end, it will be a nail-biter that will see them narrowly squeak out a 3-point win.

Sterling drops

One of the early pioneers of the First Nation's movement in Canada is gone. Sterling Brass died on Friday at the age of 70.

Chief Lawrence Joseph remembers Brass as a true leader who worked hard to improve the lives of First Nation's people.

He is survived by his three children Goldy Silver, Copper Nickel and Zinc Mercury.

Story

A sparkling performance

Canada proved to be too much even for a motivated Swedish squad who fell short in the fight for Gold for the second year in a row to the same adversary. For Canada, it was its fifth consecutive Gold Medal, a feat they accomplished twice now, having also won Gold in years 1993-1997.

Canada wasted no time opening the scoring with a goal just 38 seconds into the game. The game remained close until the lead widened to two in the second period. Despite having six or seven opportunities with a man advantage, including two short stints with a two-man advantage, the Swedes could not capitalize.

Finally, an even-strength Swedish goal midway through the third period made it Canada 3 Sweden 1. When Sweden pulled out all the stops, vacating the net in favour of an extra forward with more than two minutes left in the game, Canada scored two empty-net goals, clinching the Gold Medal.

What's just below Gold?

National disgrace. This is the reality that every Canadian national hockey team (not to be confused with Canadian NHL team, who have been a national disgrace for longer than I care to remember) must contend with every time they step on the ice. Despite the tremendous pressure, team after team--junior, Olympic, World and women's teams keep coming through with the goods. The current World Junior Hockey tourney is no exception.

The Canadian machine has sputtered on the way here--they allowed the Americans to build a 3-goal lead on New Year's Eve, but fought back to win 7-4 and then in an even more remarkable match this past Saturday night, the boys scored on Russia with five second left in regulation to send it into overtime, where the Canadians won in a shoot-out.

So, tonight they go for Gold for the fifth time in as many tournaments. They face a very talented and determined Swedish team and it should prove to be a highly exciting and entertaining game. And once again, nothing less than Gold is acceptable.

Q & A's from around the web

Why does my school make us pull up our pants?

If you don't like it, go enrol in plumbing school.

New music video

I recently posted a new music video at my sister site. Actually, it has nothing to do with my sister. I hope you enjoy it.

www.videosbyvinny.blogspot.com

Q & A's from around the web

Do you believe all these female porn stars that say they have high iqs?
For example:
Katie Morgan
Wikipedia: "She claims to have a genius IQ according to internet tests."

Having a high I.Q. doesn't equate to having morals, though. So they may be geniuses, but with all the "creative" things they do on camera for the sack of a buck, do they honestly think it matters how smart they are?

Editors note: At first I thought "for the sack of a buck" was a typo, but then I thought "Hmmm...it does make sense".

Q & A's from around the web

If you were to stage a monkey knife fight what would be the name of your champion chimp?

Furious George

Chimp Norris

Need another reason to hate banks?

On Wednesday, I sat down to do some important online banking. As I tried to get to my bank's website, I got a browser message saying it was unreachable. After a couple more attempts, The familiar green home page appeared. I typed in my password and after an unusually long delay, I got a message indicating some problem and to try again and if it persists, to call the help desk.

After a few more unsuccessful attempts, I called the number listed. I got a busy signal. I figured I wasn't the only one experiencing the problem. Several more calls (and log-in tries) over the next twenty minutes proved unfruitful. I let it go.

About an hour later, there was no indication the problem had occurred. Now, I'm no genius--ok, I am, but it doesn't take a genius to see something wrong with this picture. Rather than advise possibly thousands of clients to try again or phone a line that will either be busy or else unanswerable due to volume and frustrate them further, why not update the log-in error message as soon as they realize there is a widespread problem and indicate NOT to try again and NOT to call the help desk as they are aware of the situation, and possibly give an estimated time to resolution? I'm just sayin'.