Wednesday 25 March 2009

Q & A's from around the web

How many HRs does a player on average hit each season?

totally depends on the player

It depends totally on the player

There are many variables that factor into how many homeruns per season a player averages.

The problem with your question is that there is no single average player to base an average number of homeruns on each year.

Editor's note:
You ask a simple question--you'd think someone would just say "About 20".

Tuesday 24 March 2009

It's no wonder people call it Faux News

I can easily imagine a few of the lines in the following video taken from a late night Fox News show being used in a Canadian comedy production. Making light of our army is as much a part of our identity as the fact that the Canada's military has participated in more U.N. peace missions than any other country, including the United States. But given that there's a war going on in Afghanistan, a war where Canadians have had more soldiers there than any other country except for the U.S., I find it to be in very bad taste. This coupled with the fact that this aired while we were honouring the latest four fallen soldiers, bringing the total number of Canadians lost in this war to 116, elevates the statements to deplorable.

Imagine that a Canadian news program went on the day after 9/11 and participants joked and laughed about how Americans can't build office buildings properly, etc. How appropriate would that be? In comedy, it's all about timing. And this segment's timing was way off. How funny does it seem now?


Monday 23 March 2009

The old boy is still (marginally) lucid

I am very happy to report that over the last few weeks, I made two moves putting sizable chunks of my money back into the market. I am now about 50% invested. I have almost given up trying to pick winning stocks or even winning mutual funds, so over the last year or so, my entire portfolio has been in a mix of money market (pays virtually nothing, but it's a safe haven) and a fund based on the TSX (Toronto Stock Exchange) index.

Where will the markets go from here? It's anybody's guess. Everyone (including me) has been predicting longterm doom and gloom, and I still believe it. But the markets have surprised several times recently and also in the past, doing things unexpected. While we have not yet felt the full effects of millions of laid off workers, and that tide probably has not eased yet, the markets could very well look beyond it and ride the optimism that has currently washed over investors who believe that Obama and co. are on the right track to resolving this unprecedented financial collapse.

If only I were allowed to shift my money as often and in real time as I felt market conditions warranted, I might be able to make serious money, but alas, my financial institution only applies changes requested before 3 p.m. at day's close and once you shift money into a fund, whether it's a true mutual fund or it's a money market or index fund, you cannot move money out of it for a whole month (you can, but severe penalties are applied making it unproductive--they consider it day-trading). Still, I've managed to generate (almost) enough money to live on for the last six years. It's a meagre existence compared to the high life I lived for the last few decades, but for reasons I'm not ready to divulge, this will have to do.

Note:
On December 17th, 2008, after U.S. markets made large gains following the big drop, I wrote this...

I see the American indexes dropping below their previous lows in the coming months. I'll join the market at that point because I expect slow and steady gains going forward for the foreseeable future.

And on February 27th, I reiterated my sentiment here...

I'm not convinced that we have hit bottom, yet.

Sure enough, early in March new lows were forged. Technically, I was wrong about slow and steady gains following it--they have been nothing short of tremendous to this point. As I write this at mid-afternoon, North American exchange indexes are up around four percent on the day.

Good luck to you all in your investment decisions! And to anyone who is suffering financially, chin up--better times will return.

Sunday 22 March 2009

Life in the fast lane

I glanced over at the magazine rack at the supermarket, yesterday, and on the cover of the latest issue of Cosmo, is the following:

Sex that brings you closer:
These moves will light a bonfire in his pants...and in his heart.

And:

What guys want after sex.

My reaction to the first storyline is that I'm getting a sense of why young people seem more confused than at any time in history about the difference between love and sex. I am by no stretch of the imagination a prude--never have been, but in my humble opinion, sex, no matter how great, can never have the lasting and cementing effect that love can on two souls. In fact, I would go so far as to say that spectacular sex early in a relationship seems to have the opposite effect. I'm not sure why--I've never thought to analyze it, but my personal and friends' experiences seem to bear this out.

You've probably heard someone say "All we have in common is great sex." It's doubtful you've ever heard anyone complain "All we have in common is a tremendous love for one another."

This is not to say that you can't have both, but great sex more often follows falling in love than the other way around. Just to clarify, if someone is after no-strings great sex, that's their business. What I'm saying is that I believe magazines like Cosmo are leading naive people into believing that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his pants. I think following such advice will only lead to eventual heartache and pain...even if there are a few mind-blowing orgasms along the way.

As far as the second storyline goes, I thought it was pretty clear to just about everyone over 16 what guys want after sex: to get away from the girl as quickly and as far as possible. Of course, I didn't open the magazine to read the article, but if it contradicts this in any way, it's B.S. There is one caveat to this rule, however. Girls, if you offer to make him a sandwich, he might stay a while. Especially if you tell him he can eat it off your ass.

They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster--the lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind
.

Saturday 21 March 2009

No good deed goes unpunished

Yesterday, as promised, I went to the store to pay for the item they mistakenly did not charge me for the day before. I picked up a few items, including another jug of canola oil. As I approached the checkouts, I scanned the cashiers and was happy to see that the very attractive one was working the express lane.

After I paid for everything, I said to her in a hushed voice "You're going to think I'm crazy, but yesterday I bought one of these (grabbing the oil) and they didn't scan it at all, so take this one back." She said "I do think you're crazy...you could have given it to me." At that point, I noticed the lady bagging her stuff ahead of me had slowed her actions and dropped her mouth open in apparent agreement with the cashier's assessment of my mental condition.

Smiling, I said (to the cashier) "The next time someone forgets to charge me for jewellery, I'll give it to you."

In retrospect, I think the girl in her early 20's would prefer to get oil from this 54 year old. Also, in retrospect, I never should have evoked conversation with the girl. Better to maintain the fantasy of a perfect female specimen than to shatter it by finding she's prone to dishonesty. And finally, in retrospect, the beautiful girl I used to have a "pleasant" customer/employee relationship with, now thinks I'm an old weirdo. At least I can sleep well at night. Alone, but well. I don't think that Karma sh*t works.