Friday, 8 August 2008
Thursday, 7 August 2008
I made a tomato
Tonight, I enjoyed my first apartment-grown tomato. I hadn't grown anything since losing my home (and garden) to the ravages of divorce and other factors. Back when I was an avid gardener, I used to grow as many as 30 or more different vegetables--yes, my garden was huge. Anyway, I used to say it then and I was just reminded of it--home grown tomatoes are almost like a different vegetable when compared to store-bought. The colour, texture and flavour is incomparable, mine possessing a deeper, richer, red colour, meatier texture and like I alluded, a taste that absolutely excites the taste buds.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend growing tomatoes indoors, though. This was my first try at doing so and it was rife with obstacles and the yield will be extremely scanty. It never occurred to me that I need to manually pollinate the plant (nature never figured that one day mammals would attempt to garden indoors, I guess) until most of the blooms had sprouted and faded. I had to move the plant several times a day in order to expose it to sufficient sunlight and nature also didn't help out in the watering department, forcing me to keep a watchful eye and act accordingly.
Still, the act of slowly and lovingly nurturing something and watching it flourish into a beautiful thing was very rewarding. Eating the son-of-a-bitch was even more rewarding. It's pretty much the same with rearing children--except without the rewarding part.
Stay tuned for my recipe for "tomato and cucumber salad".
I wouldn't necessarily recommend growing tomatoes indoors, though. This was my first try at doing so and it was rife with obstacles and the yield will be extremely scanty. It never occurred to me that I need to manually pollinate the plant (nature never figured that one day mammals would attempt to garden indoors, I guess) until most of the blooms had sprouted and faded. I had to move the plant several times a day in order to expose it to sufficient sunlight and nature also didn't help out in the watering department, forcing me to keep a watchful eye and act accordingly.
Still, the act of slowly and lovingly nurturing something and watching it flourish into a beautiful thing was very rewarding. Eating the son-of-a-bitch was even more rewarding. It's pretty much the same with rearing children--except without the rewarding part.
Stay tuned for my recipe for "tomato and cucumber salad".
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Shazzam!
There is an amusement park that is open 24/7, 365 days a year. The queue for their best ride, Shazzam!, is more or less constant and the average wait time is one hour. Still, people can't resist it's allure. The ride itself lasts five minutes (including two minutes for collecting tickets and safely securing and disembarking passengers). There is only one man servicing passengers. In any given period, the same number of people exit the ride as join the line waiting to get on. Occasionally, the line increases or decreases a bit but not dramatically so.
One day, Freddie, the ride operator, had an idea. He figured that since the line moves pretty well at a constant rate, the reason there is an hour wait is due to the constant backlog. So, he went to management and explained "If you put another man on the job to help me with the passengers until there is no queue left, I could then maintain the same pace as now--same number coming as going, and never have anyone wait longer than the five minutes it takes to operate the ride."
Management agreed and hired a temp for Freddie. Sure enough, within a few days, the line had dwindled, the temp was sent on his way (hopefully to do some equally helpful job) and the ride was operating smoothly. Well, you can guess what happened next. As word spread of the decreased wait time, more and more people wanted to ride Shazzam!, including people who had just gotten off. It wasn't long before the queue reached its previous and constant length and the wait time went back to an hour.
This story is not about an amusement park. It is about hospitals. And Shazzam! is not a ride, it is the Emergency Room. Waiting an hour to go on a ride may be unpleasant, but doing so in the ER waiting room could be life-threatening. People have literally died waiting. Why do we accept the unacceptable? Especially when there is a very simple solution?
"But, Vinny", you may be saying, "won't the wait times eventually go back to where they were as in your example?" Absolutely not. People don't decide whether to go to the hospital based on the wait times (or how much they enjoy "the ride")--they go to the ER when and because they have an emergency. Reduce the backlog and you should be able to maintain much faster service times with the current staff going forward.
This solution may not apply to rural hospitals where the number of ER patients fluctuates greatly, but then wait times are probably not as big an issue there, either. In big cities that don't sleep at night, the ER is almost always jammed. This is where it applies. This is where it's needed. Is anyone listening out there?
One day, Freddie, the ride operator, had an idea. He figured that since the line moves pretty well at a constant rate, the reason there is an hour wait is due to the constant backlog. So, he went to management and explained "If you put another man on the job to help me with the passengers until there is no queue left, I could then maintain the same pace as now--same number coming as going, and never have anyone wait longer than the five minutes it takes to operate the ride."
Management agreed and hired a temp for Freddie. Sure enough, within a few days, the line had dwindled, the temp was sent on his way (hopefully to do some equally helpful job) and the ride was operating smoothly. Well, you can guess what happened next. As word spread of the decreased wait time, more and more people wanted to ride Shazzam!, including people who had just gotten off. It wasn't long before the queue reached its previous and constant length and the wait time went back to an hour.
This story is not about an amusement park. It is about hospitals. And Shazzam! is not a ride, it is the Emergency Room. Waiting an hour to go on a ride may be unpleasant, but doing so in the ER waiting room could be life-threatening. People have literally died waiting. Why do we accept the unacceptable? Especially when there is a very simple solution?
"But, Vinny", you may be saying, "won't the wait times eventually go back to where they were as in your example?" Absolutely not. People don't decide whether to go to the hospital based on the wait times (or how much they enjoy "the ride")--they go to the ER when and because they have an emergency. Reduce the backlog and you should be able to maintain much faster service times with the current staff going forward.
This solution may not apply to rural hospitals where the number of ER patients fluctuates greatly, but then wait times are probably not as big an issue there, either. In big cities that don't sleep at night, the ER is almost always jammed. This is where it applies. This is where it's needed. Is anyone listening out there?
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Q & A's from around the web
What exercise should a man do to have a round, firm & solid hard butt?
Eat cement.
Eat cement.
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Living in the bizarro world
It was a glorious day, today--bright sunshine, a few puffy clouds in the sky, a light breeze blowing and about 80 F. I should remind/inform you that I live in The Great White North. A place where we are no strangers to some of the coldest, most severe weather on the planet. So, imagine my surprise when while I was out, I spotted several people wearing jackets. Granted, it wasn't one of the balmy, humid days in the 90's we regularly get this time of year, but still, it certainly was a shorts and t-shirt day.
Now, you may be thinking that I observed people sporting suit jackets or blazers. Nope. I'm talking regular jackets generally worn for protection against the elements. And now, for the kicker: One guy was wearing one of those bubble-type winter jackets. Not an old guy who's always cold, or afflicted with dementia--a guy in his 20's. Okay, it was sleeveless, but c'mon, now. These are the dog days, bud. What are you going to do in January? Hibernate? Do these people know they're living in the bizarro world? Are their friends too embarrassed to tell them they um, dress funny? Do they not have friends to guide them? Were their friends over-dressed today, too? I would have asked, but who knows how a guy who lives in bizarro land might react. I wouldn't want an anvil dropped on me.
Now, you may be thinking that I observed people sporting suit jackets or blazers. Nope. I'm talking regular jackets generally worn for protection against the elements. And now, for the kicker: One guy was wearing one of those bubble-type winter jackets. Not an old guy who's always cold, or afflicted with dementia--a guy in his 20's. Okay, it was sleeveless, but c'mon, now. These are the dog days, bud. What are you going to do in January? Hibernate? Do these people know they're living in the bizarro world? Are their friends too embarrassed to tell them they um, dress funny? Do they not have friends to guide them? Were their friends over-dressed today, too? I would have asked, but who knows how a guy who lives in bizarro land might react. I wouldn't want an anvil dropped on me.
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