Q & A's from around the web

How to recognize whether someone is acting or not in front of you?

If they utter the words "But soft, what light through yonder window...", there's a good chance that they are acting.

Q & A's from around the web

Why DID BUSH PROMISE TO CATCH OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD OR ALIVE THEN FAIL??

Unless Bin Laden is right next to the oil, they will never find him.

Excuse my enthusiasm

It's not often I have something to get excited about when it comes to my beloved basketball team. Last night was one of those precious times...

If anyone wasn't sure how important point guard Jose Calderon is to the success of the Toronto Raptors, they should know now. After being out for 11 games during which Raps had lost the last seven straight, Calderon's return last night punctuated his worth. He scored a game-high 23 points (on nine of ten from the field including a three-pointer), had ten assists and was a perfect four for four from the free throw line, leading Raps to an easy ten-point victory (114-104) over the Chicago Bulls. And he needed only 29 minutes to do it-he was on a minutes watch due to his return from his injury.

In doing so, Calderon became the owner of the second-longest consecutive free-throw streak in NBA history. He is a perfect 80 for 80 this season plus three from last season. The record is 97. At Jose's current pace, he may be in a position to break it within the next six games.

Q & A's from around the web

My wife broke her leg so she can't bring me beer for a while. Should I divorce her?
Serious answers only.

Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldnt go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?

Spank the monkey!

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"