How much do wish to withdraw?

A Raleigh, North Carolina woman who left $400 in her bedroom last Friday that she had planned to deposit the next day, found it was missing. The only thing she could think of was that her two-year-old dog had eaten it. When she took the dog out for a walk on Saturday, she saw bits of the bills in the dogs "leavings". She washed them off with a hose and found parts of three $100 bills and five $20's. She said she hoped to find enough pieces to exchange them for cash.

I've heard of the goose that laid golden eggs, but this is ridiculous.

Augie, the canine ATM:

Q & A's from around the web

I hooked up with this girl from a party last week, and we started to sleep on the same bed. Since we don't know each other very well, we haven't had real "sex" yet. But we had hours of deep intense kissing, and body rubbing with underwears on. Is this a safe way to pleasure?

If you want to be 100% sure it is safe, viedotape a session and send it to me for careful analysis.

The sensitivity of cows

Have you ever noticed how most cows align themselves in a north-south direction? Actually, neither have I. But if you ever do, you'll know it's not just a happenstance. Apparently, there is now proof that cows and deer (at least) are sensitive to magnetic fields. When they are near overhead electrical wires running east-west, they tend to line up the same way. The reason they line up north-south in the absence of electrical wires is because of the earth's own magnetic field.

Notice how most of these cattle are lined up in the same direction...



The story.

The world has gone mad

Insurance giant AIG reported the largest corporate loss in history in the fourth quarter--a whopping $61.7 billion! You'd think that would be enough for them to slash salaries across the board, right? Wrong. They are handing out $165 million in bonuses mostly to members of the group responsible for the massive losses stemming from risky credit default swaps. Doh!

The kicker is that AIG was given $170 billion (yes, with a "b") in bailout money to help keep it afloat. These executives keep singing the same, tired song. We need to give bonuses so that we can retain the best talent. Duh! If you had any talent on board at all, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Here's a radical idea: Fire all those responsible for the current mess you find yourselves in and hire three truly talented individuals for every four dead wood you fire and pay each of the new hires 25% more. Here's another insane idea: Pay according to performance. What, common sense is not a pre-req to getting an MBA?

Zimbabwe's inflation woes

According to Central Statistical Office statistics, annual inflation rate rose to 231 million percent in July 2008. Central bank attempts to keep pace with hyper-inflation as prices are doubling every day.

Zimbabwe has unveiled a 100 trillion Zimbabwe dollar banknote.

The country's central bank also plans to introduce Z$10tn, Z$20tn and Z$50tn notes.

How bad is inflation in Zimbabwe? Well, consider this: at a supermarket in the capital city, toilet paper costs $417. No, not per roll. Four hundred seventeen Zimbabwean dollars is the value of a single two-ply sheet. A roll costs $145,750.

The above quoted price of toilet paper is from an article in 2006. At the prevailing inflation rate, a single sheet must cost about a million dollars(?) today.

Going out for dinner? Bring a hefty knapsack to carry the more than $1 billion you'll need.




Is America going down that same path...