Words of wisdom

A dog was sitting too close to the railroad tracks. A train came by and cut off half its tail. The dog chased the train to try to bite it. The train ran over the dog's head, severing it.

Moral: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.

2008 will go down as a long year

That's because an extra second will be added at 23:59:59 on December 31st. According to those who keep an eye on the earth's rotation, tides and other factors have skewed the gap between atomic clocks and the sun's position above the earth.

Such factors and adjustments are not rare. Alterations to time are made from every six months to seven years--whenever the earth's position and atomic clocks are off by one second or more.

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Q & A's from around the web

I'd like to chat via yahoo messenger with girls who swallowed a live goldfish. I wanna know more about it?

Listen, bud. Don't think that they're going to want to swallow your minnow.

How To Install A Home Security System

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's
Work Boots size 14-16 (used)
2. Place them on front porch, along with a copy of
Gun And Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine
4. Leave a note on your door that reads


Hay Bubba,

Big Jim, Duke, Slim, and I gone for more ammunition.

Will be back in one hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls-- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all of the dog's in the house. Better Just wait outside until we can get back.

Scooter

I've only hunted for two things in my life. Snails--they have a hard time getting away once you track the lil buggers down. And mushrooms--they move even slower than snails. But both are great eatin'.

Q & A's from around the web

Does anyone know of any politically oriented online games that simulate elections?

Try the Bill and Monica game. Oh. I thought you said "stimulate erections".