Rogers update #3

No word yet from Rogers regarding their devious ad (explained in this article). I can't wait to see what they're going to say.

Q & A's from around the web

what goes with green/brown socks?

Hysterical laughter?

Marketing Gone Wild (Caution--no wild girls in this article)

Recently, I saw a commercial which got me thinking about something I had never previously thought seriously about. No, it wasn't about adopting a third world child. Was it about making a donation for the fight against cancer? Nope. It wasn't even about volunteering for one of the myriad organizations wanting to help our neighbours. The thing that grasped my attention in a world that values one's appearance above battling world hunger or deadly diseases was...a mascara commercial. Now, before I get into that pithy topic, let me say that for some time now, I figured three blades on a razor was the practical limit. But no, recently they upped the ante to five. Men, it seems, are as vain and susceptible to marketing ploys as women are. Well...almost.

The commercial in question promises women, and they say this with a straight face, even managing to mention it two or three times without bursting into fits of laughter, SEVENTEEN times fuller lashes! Not 3 times, not 5 times, but a full 17 times fuller lashes. When I saw the ad, I wasn't really paying attention and so I didn't catch which cosmetics company it was from. Today, I decided to investigate this earth-shattering development.

After a few google searches, I came to know the inventor of this "instant hair in a tube". (Seriously, if their claim holds true, I'm going to use it on my sparsely-covered head.) In the ad I found online, according to Revlon, their product will give you "lashes that are 17 times fuller, 50% visibly longer". Folks, that could do wonders for my ever receding hairline.

Much to my surprise, I discover that this version of their product is the waterproof cousin to their real flagship product, Revlon 3D Extreme. Ladies, why walk around with plain, old 2-dimensional lashes? That's soo '90's. This little baby will make your wimpy lashes "up to 25 times fuller and 80% visibly longer". Why, you can practically jump rope with them.

That really got me thinking. What do lashes that are 25 times fuller and 80% longer look like? I feel kind of silly now because I just spent the last hour using my professional graphics program to try and simulate the effect. But then again, women all over the world spend as much time each and every day applying makeup--some of them more than that.

Here then, are the before and after images:





What's next?--a razor with 25 blades? It might come in handy for women who use Revlon 3D.

Philanthropist Paul Newman Passes Away at 83 of Cancer

There is no doubt that Paul Newman was one of the all-time giants of Hollywood. He was a true superstar, starring in such films as Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, The Hustler, Cool Hand Luke, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, The Sting, and The Color of Money just to name a few.

Just last night in the wee hours when I was watching TV as is my practise to do so to help me fall asleep, I came across The Sting, a movie I had seen when it was in theatres back in 1973. It is a delightful film that succeeds in getting the audience on the side of the bad guys. I imagine it's quite a treat for the ladies, containing two heart throbs, the other being Robert Redford.

Newman was nominated for an Oscar ten times winning three of them. So, why does the title of this article refer to him as "philanthropist"? Paul Newman never felt comfortable being showereed with every accolade from "brilliant" to "icon". Forgive my presumption, Mr. Newman, that "philanthropist" is a label you might be more at ease with.

In the early 1980s, Newman started up the "Newman's Own" brand as a way to sell his homemade salad dressing. The company, which also made popcorn, spaghetti sauce and other products, has turned into a multi-million dollar business and has donated $175 million to charities.

Paul Newman was married to Joanne Woodward for 50 years, rare by Hollywood or any standard.

When asked by Playboy if he was ever tempted to cheat on his wife, Newman replied, "I have steak at home, why go out for hamburger?"

Rogers update #2

This afternoon Rogers responded to my complaint about their deceitful ad. Rather than research it through their marketing department, their representative asked me to gather documentation so that he can investigate it further. I went through the time and effort to get screen shots of the ad and the website the ad directs one to, and sent them along to him. Tick, tock, tick, tock...

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

Another Ivy leaguer, this one from Cornell, was on the show. The previous three all flunked out.

The $50,000 question was: Which Great Lake does Pennsylvania border? The contestant said "I didn't even know Pennsylvania bordered a Great Lake". The first thing that entered my own mind was "Hmm, there must be a good reason they named it Erie, Pennsylvania."

He took a wild guess since it was "free"--that is, if he answered incorrectly, he wouldn't lose any money. He guessed "Erie". None of the classmates said "Erie".

I don't have a degree from anywhere, let alone an Ivy League school, and I'm not even an American but the answer came to me in a flash.

He knew enough to quit when he heard a question he did not know the answer to and "dropped out".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next contestant clearly wasn't as smart. When faced with the $5,000 question "If you were in Mexico City and walked due west, which is the first ocean you'd run into?" He had no idea, and therefore chose to "peek" at his classmate's answer. It correctly was "Pacific" and he agreed.

How could anyone not know that walking west from any point in North America would have you arrive at the Pacific Ocean? This character actually said "I've never been to Mexico City and that's what's giving me pause". I guess this man in his 40's still hasn't grasped that whole "directions" concept.

Needless to say, he wasn't smarter than a fifth grader.

Rogers update #1

When I e-mailed Rogers about their devious ad, I got an automatic notification e-mail indicating that someone would respond to my query with 24 hours. Here it is 48 hours later and I'm still waiting. I guess it shouldn't surprise that one who is devious is also a liar. The clock is ticking, Rogers...

Interesting note that while they have failed to respond to their loyal customer's enquiry (me), in the last 24 hours alone, I received two items from them seeking more of my business. Yesterday, I got some snail mail, and today, I got an e-mail. These were both targeted, bearing my name and or indicating the recipient is a a "valued Rogers customer". Apparently, they do not have access to a dictionary if this is their idea of "valued".

Q & A's from around the web

Which schools for studying architechture?
I'm about to apply, but I'm still not sure which are the best choices of schools because I haven't been living in the States for a long time...

Art Vandalay School of Architecture

Shame on you, Rogers

For anyone who doesn't know, Roger Communications, Inc. is a media and telecommunications giant. You want to know how big? It has a market cap of $21 billion. That's with a capital "B", folks. Recently, I joined a free poker site that uses "FreeD" as currency that you can exchange for real money. How do they make money, you ask? By displaying ads incessantly. And they entice you to click on theads by giving you a FreeD for each one. What has all this to do with
Rogers?

Lo and behold if it wasn't an ad for Rogers. There is no message and no Britney25f. Now, I could understand it if it came from a small, fly-by-night company, but for an established (and respected?) company with almost 100 years of history behind it, it surprised me, and to put it bluntly, stuck in my craw. How low will Rogers stoop to try and get my business, which, by the way, it already has. I've been sending a cheque every month for the better part of 30 years for cable TV service, which currently is over $60.

Shame on you, Rogers. Such tactics cheapen you. I expected better. Will you do the right thing and remove the offending ad? The poker site is nopaypoker.com

I sent Rogers a copy of this post. I'll post their response.

I should mention that the same ad promotes Bell, Fido, MTS, Sasktel, Telus, and Virgin Mobile.

My Town

Having lived in Brampton for about 25 years, I must be spoiled. It just never seemed that picturesque to me. However, I came across this news item that I'm pretty sure wasn't made up even if it was published by my hometown newspaper.

The Brampton Guardian

Tuesday September 23 2008 By Pam Douglas

BRAMPTON - Brampton is not just Canada’s Flower City, it is now the World’s Flower City. It was the second year Brampton has competed internationally, after winning the national title in 2006.

The awards recognize civic pride, environmental responsibility and community beautification. Judges use eight criteria to evaluate the competitors: tidiness, environmental awareness, community involvement, heritage conservation, urban forest management, landscaped areas, floral displays and turf and groundcovers.

Well, let's see if I can find a few photos to share with you of my lovely town...
It's proving a bit tedious due to the fact that my town was named after a city in England, it being far more important than my city and I just learned that there is a place in Australia with the same name. Nonetheless, I will soldier on for you, gentle reader...

Here's a shot of a typical, lovely Brampton location. Unfortunately, all the trees in the foreground obscure most of the beauty of the magnificent skyline comprised primarily of 30-story condos.


Just look at how clean that road is! That beautiful white sheen is from many months of dumping tons of salt on it through the winter. And look--there's another breath-taking view of an apartment building.


Ok, now this better represents what my town is all about.



Oh, wait. That was Brampton, Australia.

Below, is one of Brampton's many parks, this one featuring an area where young skateboarders will soon be able to practise breaking their bones--I mean hone their skills. I'm sure those workmen will have the facility ready in no time. It's a good thing they brought plenty of refreshments to quench the thirst they are no doubt working up with all the hard work in the brutal Canadian heat.


I guess I've kidded Brampton enough. It really is a great place to live. Here's a photo of a house you'd never guess was from one of the more rundown neighbourhoods in the city.


I want to leave you with two things.

1. As if Flower City of the World isn't enough of an honour, last year (2007) Brampton was named one of the safest cities in the world by the WHO (World Health Organization).

2. If you or someone you know is considering moving to another city, I recommend Brampton. Here is the city's web site: Brampton

A Precedent in the Law

One evening, after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well-dressed and attractive lady walking just ahead of them. One of the men turned to the other and remarked “I’d give $50 to spend the night with that woman”. To their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, and turning around said “I’ll take you up on that”. She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the lady to her apartment where they immediately went to bed.

The following morning, the man presented her with $25 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money stating “If you don’t give me the other $25, I’ll sue you for it”. He laughed, saying “I’d like to see you get it on these grounds”. The next day, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a law suit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained to him the details of the case. His lawyer said “She can’t possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds. But it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented”.

After the usual preliminaries, the lady’s lawyer addressed the court as follows: “Your honour, my client, this lady here, is an owner of a piece of property, a garden spot surrounded by a produce growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified period of time, for the sum of $50. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purpose for which it was rented, but upon vacating the premises, he paid only $25--one half the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive since it is restricted property, and we ask that judgement be granted against the defendant”.

The defendant’s lawyer was impressed and amused at the way his opponent had presented the case. His defence, therefore, was somewhat altered from the way originally planned to present it. “Your honour” he said, “My client agrees that the young lady has a fine piece of property, and that he did rent such property for a time and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction, however, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump. All labour being performed by him, we claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of the said property. We, therefore, ask that judgement not be granted”.

The young lady’s lawyer came back thusly: “Your honour, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. But, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged his equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making it easily accessible to little children. We, therefore, ask that judgement be granted”.

She got it.

The serious business of developing a music video

Barbie is a dear friend who sometimes helps me with graphic work and or advice when I'm working on a music video. You can view them at www.videosbyvinny.blogspot.com Anyway, the following collaborative exchange occurred on an instant messenger about my then current project Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison:


Barbie I'm going to watch it now.
Barbie great!!
Barbie one thing bothers me though
Vinny what?
Barbie the close up of the girl when it says brown eyed girl
Barbie her eyes are shut
Barbie or looking down
Barbie can't see brown eyes
Vinny You're right.
Vinny That would be much better.
Barbie the song is about brown eyes
Vinny You think we could doc the pic?
Barbie maybe
Barbie send me the pic i'll try
Vinny sends girl1.jpg
Barbie my eyes are not looking good at all
Barbie sends vinny girl1b.jpg
Vinny She doesn't look like she's looking at the flower.
Vinny Maybe I can change the title to "Cross-eyed Girl".
Barbie hhahaahaa


Unfortunately, you cannot view my Brown Eyed Girl music video because the rights holder asked me to take it down. It was easily my best and most popular music video to date. I had it on YouTube for about a week before they shut it down. In that time, it received over 14,000 views.

At the track

I went to my local thoroughbred racing track this past Saturday. I had my usual luck when betting a horse trained by one of the better trainers there. For one reason or another, I have lost every bet save for one that I have ever made on his horses. I always seem to bet the right horse at the wrong time. Horses with proven records never seem to win when I bet on them.

Anyway, on this occasion, a new way was found for the horse I bet on to lose. The horse started out fine around the middle of the pack. By about one third of the length of the race, he had worked himself up to first. Suddenly he pulled up very quickly and went out of camera range, all the horses advancing well past him--not a good sign. A thought popped into my mind of how appropriate the horse's name was given these circumstances--Payday Peril.

At that point I got up from my chair where I had been watching the race on a big-screen monitor and went outside to see what the matter was. Somehow, the horse had managed to make his way almost a half mile further along the track and was right in front of me where I exited the grandstand. I thought maybe there was hope for the horse since he had gone that far after sustaining whatever ailed him.

He was surrounded by 5-6 people, including his trainer which I recognized. While a couple of men consoled the horse, a couple more were checking out his front legs. My view was slightly obstructed, so I couldn't see exactly what was going on. Just then, the horse reared up and then immediately laid down and suddenly there was no movement. I tried as best I could to look for any signs of breathing. I could not detect any. The horse was very eerily still and I concluded they had euthanized him.

It broke my heart. It made me realize how insignificant my wager on this horse was. This horse who had worked his heart out in perhaps ten races or more, having won three of his last six, including his last two, had earned a small fortune for his connections and had the promise of even more success. I can only hope that he had received the affection and fine treatment he deserved.

They placed a large screen between the horse and onlookers (too late, I thought) and prepared to load the poor creature into the horse ambulance. I retreated back to my seat and remarked to those sitting near me "I think they euthanized that horse". My comment was greeted with stone silence of indifference.

Anyone who has ever entered a horse racing establishment would have immediately noticed how unsavoury many of the patrons are. They are loud, boisterous, rowdy, unkempt, of poor breeding and generally lack proper hygiene. But that day, I found yet another adjective to add to the list: heartless.

Late that night, I googled the horse's name and to my surprise and dismay, I couldn't find a single item relating to the horse's death (or less likely, his condition). I even checked the race track's own website to no avail. The fine career and promise of this horse, and his painful and sad passing had gone by without so much as a footnote.

As I was writing this today, Monday, I checked again for an item on the horse and am glad to see that a few sentences were written in a blog by Jennifer Morrison to mark the gelding's life and death. Jennifer Morrison is the track odds-maker. Kudos to her. The horse racing sport needs more like her.

Here is Jen's blog.

Q & A's from around the web

Why can't people just say whats on their mind?

well maybe that just dint wont to hear your fill but that sure tell you what on they mind others want that hear

Huh?

Ripped from the headlines

Fed scientists, food experts demand Ritz resign

Growing demand to fire Agriculture Minister

By Peter Zimonjic, Sun Media

The federal government's own scientists and food experts jumped into the fray and added their voice yesterday to the calls for the resignation of Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz.

“Minister Ritz has repeatedly disappointed the professional scientists and inspectors who work for him during the listeria crisis,” said Michele Demers, President of the Professional Institute of the Public Service of Canada. “The comments he apologized for yesterday are the last straw. Crisis requires real leadership and Mr. Ritz is clearly not fit to lead.”

One more comes out of hiding

I have a long history of "finding" lost celebrities. By "find", I mean long after someone essentially disappears from TV or cinema and has changed in appearance substantially, I suddenly discover the guy/gal in a TV show. Admittedly, pickings have been sparse, lately, but I found one this evening.

While watching Two and a Half Men, a very old man makes a guest appearance. His manner of speaking seems familiar. After a few minutes pass, I become almost sure I've seen the man before. I looked closely and was then sure I knew the man from somewhere, although I could not place where. Two minutes later, it struck me. He was a regular on Johnny Carson. I try to recall his name but it momentarily escapes me. I keep thinking "Barnes", but it doesn't seem quite right. Then, I realized that Barnes was one of my high school teachers who I had thought back then looked a lot like the character whose name was escaping me.

And then, the final piece fell into place. Orson Bean! my mind yelled. As soon as the program ended, I came to my PC and looked it up. I was right, but the episode turns out to be from 2005. I also discover that Orson was 77 at the time. It seems he was never really absent from show business, having had regular guest appearances on TV and movies, but was only absent to me. The last time I saw the gentleman was circa 30 years ago!

The man was a passionate, talented, story-teller with a great sense of humour. For anyone who knows him, he seems to be going strong and the world is better for it.

What do the following movies have in common?

What do the following movies have in common?

A Christmas Story - It's 1948, in the fictional northern Indiana town of Hohman (based on real-life Hammond, IN). 9-year-old Ralph "Ralphie" Parker (Peter Billingsley) wants only one thing for Christmas -- an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB gun with a compass in the stock.

A Map of the World - Alice Goodwin, mother of two, school nurse and wife of an aspiring dairy farmer in Wisconsin, is getting ready to take her two daughters and her best friend, Theresa's two little girls to their farm pond to swim. When she goes upstairs to find her bathing suit, Lizzy, Theresa's 2-year-old, slips away to the pond and drowns.

Ararat - Ararat is a 2002 film directed, written, and co-produced by Atom Egoyan about the Armenian Genocide, an event that is denied by the government of Turkey.

Adventures in Babysitting - When Chris' friend Brenda (Penelope Ann Miller) calls from a Chicago bus station, having made a failed attempt to run away from her family, Chris reluctantly takes Sara, Brad, and Brad's sex-obsessed best friend Daryl Coopersmith (Anthony Rapp) from their safe suburban surroundings into the city to rescue her.

A History of Violence - Tom Stall is a local restaurant owner in the small town of Millbrook, Indiana who lives peacefully with his lawyer wife Edie, his teenage son Jack and younger daughter Sarah. One night the robbers come into Millbrook and stop at Tom's restaurant.

Angel Eyes - The film opens on an accident scene on a wet rainy night in Chicago. Sharon Pogue (Jennifer Lopez) is a police officer at the scene and she is holding the hand of one of the victims and pleading that he hold on, not to give up and help is on the way.

American Psycho - Showing contemporary urban life through the eyes of a serial killer -- forcing the audience to enter his mind and understand his motives -- the film sets forth a vision that is both terrifying and chilling.

Chicago - Chicago, circa mid 1920s. Naive Roxie Hart (Renée Zellweger) visits a nightclub where star Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones) performs (All That Jazz). Hart is having an affair with Fred Casely (Dominic West) in hopes that he will get her a gig as a vaudeville star. Velma is arrested after the show for murdering her adulterous husband and sister Veronica after finding them in bed together.

Detroit Rock City - Detroit Rock City is a 1999 cult film about four teenagers in a Kiss cover band who try to see their idols in Detroit in 1978. It takes its title from the Kiss song of the same name.

Ginger Snaps - When they set out to take revenge on a girl who slighted them, Ginger is attacked by a wild animal: The Beast of Bailey Downs. Later that night, as Ginger's wounds miraculously heal, it is clear she is changing. Ginger wants to believe it is nothing more than the onset of puberty; but her sister Brigitte knows better...

New York Minute - The story follows Jane and Roxy Ryan, twin sisters with opposing personalities. Jane (Ashley Olsen) is an academic obsessed with order and planning, while Roxy (Mary-Kate Olsen) is a school truant who is interested only in rock music and her band, in which she is the drummer.

Answer Below...
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While all (except Ginger Snaps) purport to take place in a specific place, they were all filmed (partially, if not entirely) in Toronto. Ginger Snaps was actually shot at a house on my street about 100 yards from my house at the time. Wikipedia actually notes that the filming took place in my town (Brampton, part of the Greater Toronto Area), at one of the actors' home. Ginger Snaps

Q & A's from around the web

Is is possible to have a trojan on your comp record you and you not know?

This guy said that he put a trojan on my computer and it recorded me, and he was going to send it to people. Is this possible? He said that I didn't even have my cam streaming online but it recorded anyway? Is this possible?

I like what you've done with your hair. Turn to the left a little bit, please.

Woman faces charge after dishwashing dispute

FORT WORTH, Texas – Police say a 20-year-old woman faces an aggravated assault charge after she bit her boyfriend, broke a picture frame across his face and swung at him with a sword during an argument about him not doing the dishes.

The woman was arrested Thursday afternoon at the couple's apartment, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram reported on its Web site.

The 21-year-old man told police that he became involved in an argument because the woman was upset that the dishes were not clean. Police Lt. Paul Henderson said the woman told the man to leave the apartment, but he refused.

Henderson said the woman then tried to physically remove the man. During the ensuing struggle, the woman bit the man's right shoulder and broke a picture frame across his face, causing visible cuts, Henderson said.

The woman then grabbed an approximately 2-foot sword and swung it at him, but missed, police said.

The woman was released from a Mansfield jail after posting a $10,000 bond, jail officials said.

Henderson said the man and woman had lived together for four months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wondered as I read the above:

1. Were the subjects wistfully gazing into each other's eyes, professing their undying love mere weeks before this incident? Days?

2. Shortly after they met had they confided in each other that they believed they had found their soul mate?

3. Did their hearts pound in unison when they decided to move in together?

4. Did they last week tell everyone they knew that they had just got engaged?

5. Would they be getting back together like the incident was nothing at all to be concerned about and say they still love each other?

6. Will the police arrive next time to a body?

7. If they don't resume their relationship, will someone new fall madly in love with the psycho bitch?

8. What does she do if the laundry isn't done?

Q & A's from around the web

Are u.s generals in the box thinkers? because it seems they havnt a clue in Iraq!

I think they are more like litter box thinkers because most of their plans are shitty.

In the box thinkers? They couldn't think their way out of a wet paper Baghdad.

Lyin' Eyes

I knew the girl featured in my Lyin' Eyes music video reminded me of someone and now I know who. A blast from the past that went into oblivion. A girl who had touched a soft spot in my heart. And most ironically, she, like the girl in the video, married a man very much her senior. Pia Zadora married in the lyrics of the Eagles tune "a rich old man" of 55 when she was just the tender age of 23. You be the judge. Do they look alike?

What a warped mind

The following ad appeared above my hotmail application. With a passing glance, it had immediately struck me as a fairly racy dating service promotion. It would certainly have explained the smile on the girl's face.


Upon closer scrutiny, notably the part on the far right that I had first failed to notice, it turned out to be from a recruiting service.



I wonder if they accept resumes from call girls looking for clients. I can see it now:

Well groomed, bubbly girl, been around the world, experienced at many different positions, looking for steady, part-time (one hour per week) employment. Respond to box 6969.

Doughnuts 'n stuff

I recently made a trip to Dallas, Texas. While clearing airport security at my stop-over in Detroit, I accidentally spilled some of the contents of the tray containing my metal objects, namely loose change. So as not to disrupt the flow of the line, I quickly got on my knees and collected all the coins I could see within my vicinity and put them in my pocket.

When I got to my destination, I reached into my pocket, grabbed the handful of (Canadian) coins I wouldn't be needing during my stay and placed them on a dresser. There they sat for 10 days.

When I picked them up as I was getting ready to head to the airport, I noticed a couple of odd-looking coins. My immediate thought was that the taco lady in Detroit had ripped me off, giving me "slugs" instead of quarters. I have a bad habit of never even glancing at my change whenever I'm handed it.

Upon closer inspection, they were each a 2-Euro coin. Four Euros! I'm not sure how much that is, but I seem to recall that the Euro is worth more than a U.S. dollar and a U.S. dollar is worth more than a Canadian dollar. Ok, I just checked. My little windfall has netted me just about $6 Canadian. Not bad for five seconds work. I'm going back to the airport tomorrow. This time I'm going to borrow a metal detector from the security staff.

By the way, I'm not sure if this is true of every Dunkin' Donuts shop in the U.S., but the one in the Memphis airport has the biggest apple fritters I've ever seen in my life. They are no less than three times the size of our Tim Horton's equivalent. I'm not exaggerating. I bought one and was expecting to pay like $3 for it or something, but it cost me no more than a regular doughnut, whatever that was. Amazing! It took me about 15 minutes to eat the damn thing which was delicious, and it sufficed as my lunch. What a deal!

More from the Yahoo pool table

cueballs_with_stick: you snooking bastard

vinny_the_hack: You didn't try the same but failed?

cueballs_with_stick: lol

vinny_the_hack: You tried and missed the whole ball. Remember?

cueballs_with_stick: hey bro you aint gotta get all personal and have your period and shit

vinny_the_hack: Um, you tried to snooker me first. You got angry about me snookering you. You called me a bastard and now you accuse me of losing my cool?

cueballs_with_stick: chill out bro

vinny_the_hack: All I did was point out that you snookered first after you complained about it. Here's your sign.

*** vinny_the_hack's old rating: 1566; new rating: 1577
*** cueballs_with_stick's old rating: 1458; new rating: 1447
*** vinny_the_hack has booted cueballs_with_stick from the table.

Only in Canada...

Media Advisory - Historic First In Women's Hockey As City of Brampton Unveils Community Centre Dedicated to Cassie Campbell

BRAMPTON, ON, Sept. 9 /CNW/ - The City of Brampton will celebrate the
opening of a world-class community centre named after hometown hero Cassie
Campbell, a three-time Olympian and former Captain of Canada's National
Women's Hockey Team.

WHEN: Saturday, September 13, 2008 from 11 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.

WHERE: Cassie Campbell Community Centre
Sandalwood Parkway and Chinguacousy Road
(Northwest corner of Sandalwood Parkway and Chinguacousy Road)

WHAT: Official Public Opening
Speeches and Ribbon Cutting at 12:00 p.m.

WHO: Brampton Mayor Susan Fennell
Cassie Campbell
Regional Councillor Paul Palleschi
City Councillor John Hutton
City Councillor and Chair, Community Services Committee
Sandra Hames
Johnny Bower, Honorary Peel Police Chief and former
Toronto Maple Leaf
Emil Kolb, Chair, Peel Police Services Board
Mike Metcalf, Chief, Peel Regional Police

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have to wonder why there will be so many representatives from the police department. Okay, I get it, now. It's so that my childhood hero, Johnny Bower, doesn't get mobbed. In the early 60's, I watched the man back-stop the Leafs to four Stanley Cup championships in six years. And if memory serves, he did it without wearing a mask. Cassie was good, too.

My town is a hotbed of our national sport

So, what's the big deal? Nothing, really. Except that what few people may know is that hockey is not Canada's national sport. At least not our national summer sport. Heck, it wasn't even our national winter sport until sometime in the 90's when somebody decided it should be. What has always been our national sport until it was relegated to our national summer sport to make room for hockey is that oh-so-popular sport you see being played by Canadian youngsters in the streets and every vacant lot available was, of course, lacrosse.

For those of you who may not be familiar with it, the game is sort of like hockey, but instead of using a puck and hockey stick, you use a very, very hard ball and a lacrosse stick. The ball is carried in webbing on the stick and tossed among players until a shot on goal is feasible. The only other major difference is that players use much less equipment. This is because there isn't much body checking in lacrosse--they just whack you in your bare arms and legs until you scream "uncle" and relinquish the ball.

The goalie is an exception in terms of the amount of equipment he wears. Remember the very hard ball? He's allowed to wear the padding of three full-sized sofas so as not to deter his attention from keeping the ball out of his net--a net that is much narrower than a hockey net. He also gets a special stick with a much larger "pocket" than a player's stick. The amazing thing about this game is that anyone ever scores at all. The goalies look like grizzly bears who accidentally wandered into the arena and took up positions at either end as if they were playing for The Salmon Cup.

Below we see a women's lacrosse match--a much milder version of the game. Here, the girl on the right is executing a "just-letting-you-know-I'm-here" tactic, where she extends her arm completely resulting in simultaneous blows to her opponent's arm and head, almost dislodging her mouth guard.

The team-mate of the girl under attack is wistfully wishing she were a majorette and is just dying to twirl her "baton".

Below is the aforementioned grizzly bear, always ready to scoop up a passing salmon with his fish net.

Oh--I almost forgot. My town is on the verge of a lacrosse championship.

Q & A's from around the web

how many months will i be wen i start showing?

It seems to me that you've already started showing it.

You're in good hands...or are you?

In a recent Allstate car insurance commercial, they explain that they reward their clients with a good driving record by sending them a cheque each year if they did not get into an accident. I have no idea how much the cheque might be for, but regardless, let's think about this, shall we?

Do you believe that Allstate had all this extra cash laying around that they wanted to get rid of? Do you believe that Allstate's premiums are equal to or lower than other car insurance companies and they give away cash to their customers? Let's face it--what they're probably doing is raising rates just a bit across the board, taking that extra cash and redistributing it to the good drivers. That's all well and good if you happen to go year after year without an accident. You can bet your bottom dollar, and you will if you have an accident, that if they are rewarding the good rivers, logic says that they must be penalizing the "bad" drivers by an equal amount just to break even.

Further pondering suggests that not only are you just getting back your own money (if you go accident-free), they've also been kind enough to store it in safe-keeping for you for a whole year. When you get that first cheque, ask them what happened to the interest they earned on your money.

Q & A's from around the web

how can i find information about a persons military discharge?

It is quite normal for men in the military to have occasional night time discharge on account of being away from women. It is nobody's business but their own.

Monkeys reward friends and relatives

WASHINGTON – For capuchin monkeys, it seems, it's better to both give and receive, than just to receive. At least, that's what researchers at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center at Emory University in Atlanta have found.

Monkeys were given a choice of receiving a food reward, or receiving a food reward and also having another monkey receive food.

When paired with relative or "friend" the monkeys primarily went for the double reward, known as the "prosocial" choice, researchers led by Frans de Waal report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

"The fact the capuchins predominantly selected the prosocial option must mean seeing another monkey receive food is satisfying or rewarding for them," said de Waal.

But the monkeys weren't so generous with strangers, choosing the so-called "selfish" option instead.

"We believe prosocial behavior is empathy based. Empathy increases in both humans and animals with social closeness, and in our study, closer partners made more prosocial choices. They seem to care for the welfare of those they know," de Waal said in a statement.

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What I find interesting about this study is that my ex- would often get herself a snack and not offer anything to her mate or even her children. Of course, she wasn't a capuchin monkey...she was a baboon.

Q & A's from around the web

we want to open our own pizza parlor.Where do we start?

You're going to need a lot of dough.

I stumbled upon a diamond in the rough

If you are a Beatles fan, you must see this site. It is a visual account of the Beatles since before they were "The Beatles". I got shivers and butterflies in my stomach, it was so moving--taking me back to when I was three years old and not only re-watching the birth of the Fab Four, but also reliving my youth. What the site lacks in polish, it more than makes up for in sheer volume of magnificent shots of the boys with captivating details of their story. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The Beatles!

Q & A's from around the web

what is an aquatic community?

Four glasses of water on a table.