Ripped from the headlines

HARRISBURG, Pa. – A retired police chief said he was robbed by "probably the dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania," at a police officers' convention on Friday morning. John Comparetto said that as he came out of a stall in the men's room, a man pointed a gun in his face and demanded money. There were 300 narcotics officers from Pennsylvania and Ohio at the gathering.

Comparetto gave up his money and cell phone. But when the man fled, Comparetto and some colleagues chased him. They arrested a 19-year-old man as he was trying to leave in a taxi.

The suspect is also awaiting trial on four previous robbery charges.

The suspect was arraigned and taken to Dauphin County Prison. When a reporter asked the suspect for comment as he was led out of court, he said, "I'm smooth."

Smooth? I'd say this guy is crunchy--as in nuts.

Celebrities' secret identities

Just when you thought it was safe to take a shower...



...the psycho goes from scaring thousands of theatre goers to scaring millions of Ontarions.



Top: Anthony Perkins in "Psycho".
Bottom: Dalton McGuinty - Premier of Ontario, Canada.

Celebrities' secret identities

I was reading a technical article in ZDNet and I believe I found PeeWee Herman's moonlighting job. Tell me I'm wrong.

Dancho (PeeWee) Danchev:

Returning from the edge of the abys...and obese

I've been a fan of hers for over 35 years ever since I watched her at the age of fifteen (her age, not mine) on the hit TV series "One Day at a Time". Her sweet looks and the apparent lack of scandal that often follows child stars, kept her close to my heart over the years. It didn't hurt that she had an Italian surname as I do.

I was delighted to "see her again" after being out of the spotlight for, gulp, decades, when she started doing Jenny Craig commercials. Of course, I had no idea that the petite girl had let herself get "very large", and I think I'm being kind when I use that term, but I was pleased as all-get-out to see that she had whooped her disorder and was much slimmer at the time of the commercials.

I have a thing about over-weight people--not a good thing. I can't seem to get past it. It's a personality flaw (mine, not theirs). Sooo, I felt that Bertinelli was still kind of chubby. There's a word I like to use for attractive women who are a bit overweight--"thick". Every time I saw one of her commercials, as much as I squinted, I just couldn't quite shoe-horn her into the "thick" category.

Maybe it was the image that I carried around so long that made the "new" Valerie look to me to be bigger than she really was. Regardless, I got a very pleasant surprise today. I happened on an ad for a People Magazine story about Bertinelli getting into a bikini to celebrate her 49th birthday.

I have another quirk, and again, not a good thing--I keep forgetting how old I am (and look) and catch myself being too critical of others about my age and sometimes even much younger than I. But, I have to admit that this fine lady looks as good in a bikini today as anyone at any age does. She has completely returned from obesity. To have come back around to "thick" would have been terrific, but she has come all the way back to a slim, beautiful, vivacious "girl".

Congratulations, Valerie! Your adoring fans would love to see you on the screen again, big or small (the screen, not your size)!

I sure hope they didn't photoshop her image. A guy with even my poor skills can produce results like this...

I guess they didn't get the memo on obesity

A minor league baseball park in Grand Rapids, Michigan has added a major league item to its menu--an unbelievable four pound burger! The monstrosity contains 4,800 calories and it's price tag is also major league--it'll set you back $20. But they say that anyone who eats it all in one sitting will receive a special T-shirt. Mama mia! Atsa one big hamburger!

Q & A's from around the web

How many HRs does a player on average hit each season?

totally depends on the player

It depends totally on the player

There are many variables that factor into how many homeruns per season a player averages.

The problem with your question is that there is no single average player to base an average number of homeruns on each year.

Editor's note:
You ask a simple question--you'd think someone would just say "About 20".

It's no wonder people call it Faux News

I can easily imagine a few of the lines in the following video taken from a late night Fox News show being used in a Canadian comedy production. Making light of our army is as much a part of our identity as the fact that the Canada's military has participated in more U.N. peace missions than any other country, including the United States. But given that there's a war going on in Afghanistan, a war where Canadians have had more soldiers there than any other country except for the U.S., I find it to be in very bad taste. This coupled with the fact that this aired while we were honouring the latest four fallen soldiers, bringing the total number of Canadians lost in this war to 116, elevates the statements to deplorable.

Imagine that a Canadian news program went on the day after 9/11 and participants joked and laughed about how Americans can't build office buildings properly, etc. How appropriate would that be? In comedy, it's all about timing. And this segment's timing was way off. How funny does it seem now?

The old boy is still (marginally) lucid

I am very happy to report that over the last few weeks, I made two moves putting sizable chunks of my money back into the market. I am now about 50% invested. I have almost given up trying to pick winning stocks or even winning mutual funds, so over the last year or so, my entire portfolio has been in a mix of money market (pays virtually nothing, but it's a safe haven) and a fund based on the TSX (Toronto Stock Exchange) index.

Where will the markets go from here? It's anybody's guess. Everyone (including me) has been predicting longterm doom and gloom, and I still believe it. But the markets have surprised several times recently and also in the past, doing things unexpected. While we have not yet felt the full effects of millions of laid off workers, and that tide probably has not eased yet, the markets could very well look beyond it and ride the optimism that has currently washed over investors who believe that Obama and co. are on the right track to resolving this unprecedented financial collapse.

If only I were allowed to shift my money as often and in real time as I felt market conditions warranted, I might be able to make serious money, but alas, my financial institution only applies changes requested before 3 p.m. at day's close and once you shift money into a fund, whether it's a true mutual fund or it's a money market or index fund, you cannot move money out of it for a whole month (you can, but severe penalties are applied making it unproductive--they consider it day-trading). Still, I've managed to generate (almost) enough money to live on for the last six years. It's a meagre existence compared to the high life I lived for the last few decades, but for reasons I'm not ready to divulge, this will have to do.

Note:
On December 17th, 2008, after U.S. markets made large gains following the big drop, I wrote this...

I see the American indexes dropping below their previous lows in the coming months. I'll join the market at that point because I expect slow and steady gains going forward for the foreseeable future.

And on February 27th, I reiterated my sentiment here...

I'm not convinced that we have hit bottom, yet.

Sure enough, early in March new lows were forged. Technically, I was wrong about slow and steady gains following it--they have been nothing short of tremendous to this point. As I write this at mid-afternoon, North American exchange indexes are up around four percent on the day.

Good luck to you all in your investment decisions! And to anyone who is suffering financially, chin up--better times will return.

Life in the fast lane

I glanced over at the magazine rack at the supermarket, yesterday, and on the cover of the latest issue of Cosmo, is the following:

Sex that brings you closer:
These moves will light a bonfire in his pants...and in his heart.

And:

What guys want after sex.

My reaction to the first storyline is that I'm getting a sense of why young people seem more confused than at any time in history about the difference between love and sex. I am by no stretch of the imagination a prude--never have been, but in my humble opinion, sex, no matter how great, can never have the lasting and cementing effect that love can on two souls. In fact, I would go so far as to say that spectacular sex early in a relationship seems to have the opposite effect. I'm not sure why--I've never thought to analyze it, but my personal and friends' experiences seem to bear this out.

You've probably heard someone say "All we have in common is great sex." It's doubtful you've ever heard anyone complain "All we have in common is a tremendous love for one another."

This is not to say that you can't have both, but great sex more often follows falling in love than the other way around. Just to clarify, if someone is after no-strings great sex, that's their business. What I'm saying is that I believe magazines like Cosmo are leading naive people into believing that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his pants. I think following such advice will only lead to eventual heartache and pain...even if there are a few mind-blowing orgasms along the way.

As far as the second storyline goes, I thought it was pretty clear to just about everyone over 16 what guys want after sex: to get away from the girl as quickly and as far as possible. Of course, I didn't open the magazine to read the article, but if it contradicts this in any way, it's B.S. There is one caveat to this rule, however. Girls, if you offer to make him a sandwich, he might stay a while. Especially if you tell him he can eat it off your ass.

They had one thing in common, they were good in bed
She'd say, 'Faster, faster--the lights are turnin' red."
Life in the fast lane. Surely make you lose your mind.

No good deed goes unpunished

Yesterday, as promised, I went to the store to pay for the item they mistakenly did not charge me for the day before. I picked up a few items, including another jug of canola oil. As I approached the checkouts, I scanned the cashiers and was happy to see that the very attractive one was working the express lane.

After I paid for everything, I said to her in a hushed voice "You're going to think I'm crazy, but yesterday I bought one of these (grabbing the oil) and they didn't scan it at all, so take this one back." She said "I do think you're crazy...you could have given it to me." At that point, I noticed the lady bagging her stuff ahead of me had slowed her actions and dropped her mouth open in apparent agreement with the cashier's assessment of my mental condition.

Smiling, I said (to the cashier) "The next time someone forgets to charge me for jewellery, I'll give it to you."

In retrospect, I think the girl in her early 20's would prefer to get oil from this 54 year old. Also, in retrospect, I never should have evoked conversation with the girl. Better to maintain the fantasy of a perfect female specimen than to shatter it by finding she's prone to dishonesty. And finally, in retrospect, the beautiful girl I used to have a "pleasant" customer/employee relationship with, now thinks I'm an old weirdo. At least I can sleep well at night. Alone, but well. I don't think that Karma sh*t works.

What would you do?

Yesterday, I was at the checkout of a supermarket and as usual, I did a quick guesstimate of the cost of my items so that I can get the appropriate amount of money out of my pocket. I had $15 in my hand but was surprised when I was asked for only seven dollars and change. I didn't think much of it since I have often been surprised by how inexpensive things are at this particular store.

When I got home, it occurred to me that $7.xx couldn't possibly have been correct. I looked at my receipt and sure enough, the 2-litre jug of canola oil had not been scanned at all. I hadn't paid much attention to the price on the shelf, but it must be in the $5 range. It took me about ten seconds to decide to go back (today) and pay for it.

Let me assure you that I am not well-off. In fact...I'd rather not go there. Suffice to say, an extra $5 in my pocket would be very welcome, even if it wouldn't have much company in there. It would certainly mean more to me than to that supermarket. Regardless, I will pay for the item.

That's the kind of guy I am; the kind of guy I've always been. And even though I've gotten screwed many times in my life, sometimes by people, and even institutions for that matter, I don't know how else to be. Truth be told, I did some rather unsavoury things in my youth and perhaps a few small indiscretions as an adult, although none come immediately to mind, but they have always weighed heavily on me. Just the thought of being dishonest bothers me.

I have been called crazy more than a few times by people who had encouraged me to take advantage when such opportunities presented themselves and I declined. In a few instances, taking the high road has cost me very dearly. Reflecting on those times, I am resentful for having been taken advantage of. But I harbour resentment at the people and institutions that perpetrated it, not at myself for leaving myself open to it. Sadly, I'm afraid I might do it the same way, again. Gladly, it's virtually impossible for such circumstances to reoccur.

Rather than leave this post on a dour note...

How much do wish to withdraw?

A Raleigh, North Carolina woman who left $400 in her bedroom last Friday that she had planned to deposit the next day, found it was missing. The only thing she could think of was that her two-year-old dog had eaten it. When she took the dog out for a walk on Saturday, she saw bits of the bills in the dogs "leavings". She washed them off with a hose and found parts of three $100 bills and five $20's. She said she hoped to find enough pieces to exchange them for cash.

I've heard of the goose that laid golden eggs, but this is ridiculous.

Augie, the canine ATM:

Q & A's from around the web

I hooked up with this girl from a party last week, and we started to sleep on the same bed. Since we don't know each other very well, we haven't had real "sex" yet. But we had hours of deep intense kissing, and body rubbing with underwears on. Is this a safe way to pleasure?

If you want to be 100% sure it is safe, viedotape a session and send it to me for careful analysis.

The sensitivity of cows

Have you ever noticed how most cows align themselves in a north-south direction? Actually, neither have I. But if you ever do, you'll know it's not just a happenstance. Apparently, there is now proof that cows and deer (at least) are sensitive to magnetic fields. When they are near overhead electrical wires running east-west, they tend to line up the same way. The reason they line up north-south in the absence of electrical wires is because of the earth's own magnetic field.

Notice how most of these cattle are lined up in the same direction...



The story.

The world has gone mad

Insurance giant AIG reported the largest corporate loss in history in the fourth quarter--a whopping $61.7 billion! You'd think that would be enough for them to slash salaries across the board, right? Wrong. They are handing out $165 million in bonuses mostly to members of the group responsible for the massive losses stemming from risky credit default swaps. Doh!

The kicker is that AIG was given $170 billion (yes, with a "b") in bailout money to help keep it afloat. These executives keep singing the same, tired song. We need to give bonuses so that we can retain the best talent. Duh! If you had any talent on board at all, you wouldn't be in this mess.

Here's a radical idea: Fire all those responsible for the current mess you find yourselves in and hire three truly talented individuals for every four dead wood you fire and pay each of the new hires 25% more. Here's another insane idea: Pay according to performance. What, common sense is not a pre-req to getting an MBA?

Zimbabwe's inflation woes

According to Central Statistical Office statistics, annual inflation rate rose to 231 million percent in July 2008. Central bank attempts to keep pace with hyper-inflation as prices are doubling every day.

Zimbabwe has unveiled a 100 trillion Zimbabwe dollar banknote.

The country's central bank also plans to introduce Z$10tn, Z$20tn and Z$50tn notes.

How bad is inflation in Zimbabwe? Well, consider this: at a supermarket in the capital city, toilet paper costs $417. No, not per roll. Four hundred seventeen Zimbabwean dollars is the value of a single two-ply sheet. A roll costs $145,750.

The above quoted price of toilet paper is from an article in 2006. At the prevailing inflation rate, a single sheet must cost about a million dollars(?) today.

Going out for dinner? Bring a hefty knapsack to carry the more than $1 billion you'll need.




Is America going down that same path...

Karma (and the law) catches up

The chickens have come home to roost. Peter Pocklington may die in prison if he's convicted of the fraud charges filed against him in Palm Springs, California stemming from a personal bankruptcy filing in 2008. If the name doesn't ring any bells, "Peter Puck" is the former owner of the Edmonton Oilers of the National Hockey League who was vilified by the entire country of Canada for selling Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player who ever lived, for about $18 million to the Los Angeles Kings.

The man collected enemies like kids collect hockey cards. He brought in strike breakers to settle a company dispute with workers at a company he owned which eventually closed. He had another company bailed out by the Canadian government to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars.

In his personal bankruptcy papers, he claimed he was worth $2,900. He um, forgot to mention the luxurious home he has, the contents of a storage locker, the investment companies he owns offshore and last but not least two bank accounts. This man used to boast a wine collection worth $750,000 and a house full of Renoir sketches.

At some point he left Canada because he was displeased with its socialist leanings. He preferred to be among "people who are impressed with those who get up early and make things happen." He made things happen, alright--mostly disasters left in his wake. He has had more failed companies than Michael Jackson has had surgeries.

He has a United States citizenship application currently being reviewed, but now, at 67, he is a broken man with $20 million in debts and possibly facing prison time. I'm not so sure that the Americans are as enamoured with him as he is with them. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Moooo!

In following one news item, yesterday, I came across another that described Canada's Speech From the Throne from just over a month ago. For those unfamiliar with the term, there is no throne involved and it sometimes barely qualifies as a speech at all. Like most things in government and law, it's steeped in tradition, much of it silly in this day and age...like men wearing blonde, braided, powder wigs in courtrooms.

The speech is used to outline what the government of the day intends to do in the near future. This one was fairly brief considering the economic climate here at home and around the world. But it did mention that they would put stimulus money into various programs to kick start the economy. I briefly surveyed them and found a couple of interesting ones, one of which I'll share.

For the benefit of those who are unfamiliar with Newfoundland, it would help if I described it a bit before explaining the funding that is to soon take place. Newfoundland is one of the most impoverished areas of Canada. It was bad enough even before all the codfish were taken from the Atlantic, which was one of its main occupations, so you can imagine what it's been like since.

So, to help out our poor brethren on The Rock, what do you suppose the federal government of Canada has committed to do? Build a state of the art research centre? Relocate a government ministry to St. John's, Newfoundland? Perhaps, commit money for retraining of unemployed fishermen? Actually, the feds say they will make available about $200,000 so that peat moss can be developed into an alternate bedding material for dairy cows. Go ahead--read the previous sentence again, but I guarantee it won't sound any less bizarre. Maybe the thinking is that if those big, fat dairy cows can sleep more comfortably, they might be persuaded to produce cappuccino or other exotic drinks more lucrative than plain milk. I'm all for making animals comfortable, but how, exactly, will this stimulate the local economy?

Test cow with peat moss bed:

Here's a freebie for all you faithful readers

I have documented my displeasure with Rogers Cable customer service very well in this blog. I have been anticipating giving them their walking papers, but it's difficult to wean myself off TV viewing. I'm hoping that it won't be long that I can get for free or a minimal charge, my TV fix from the web. Paying $61 a month for what is mostly crap on the idiot box these days is um, idiotic.

I already have available a multitude of sporting events that my second tier cable subscription doesn't include by going here. The site also has a lineup of network, specialty and comedy programming, some of which are 24-7, here. And not only is it free, but no sign-up, log-in or e-mail registering is required! Don't say I never give you anything.

On the horizon, is a piece of hardware that you pay for once for about $100, and you never have to pay a red cent for all the programming you can stand. Ever. Now, that's the kind of deal television executives should have been providing all along instead of charging a king's ransom for a half decent lineup and then nickel and diming us to death for converter boxes, digital cable, high definition, etc. Read all about it, here.

Rogers, your days are numbered...

Fraser Institute report

According to an Edmonton, Alberta teacher, an annual report ranking all the schools in the province "is doing more harm than good." Mr. Peter Shipley, who has a daughter in grade seven, went on to say "What comes out of it is a lot of frustration for schools that are low on the list, but it’s not going to end anytime soon because that’s the nature of our society — always compare, compare, compare."

What I'd like to know, is how are school administrators to know if changes are needed if comparisons aren't made? I wonder if he's also against testing students since exams just "compare, compare, compare." Perhaps, they shouldn't keep score at sporting events, either--it's so hard on the...er...um...team with the lower score. (I'm sure Shipley would object to referring to it as the "losing team". ) Okay, one last shot at this guy: It's probably teachers with views like Shipley that are dragging down some schools.

Sinatra swings

This is part of a Family Guy episode I saw recently. One particular bit almost made me fall down laughing. It was funnier when Stewie sang it but...

From the "Wow" file..

I saw this on the news on TV...












Apparently, the man only suffered minor injuries. How bizarre is that?

Happy Birthday!

Actually, it's my city's birthday. The place I've called home for over half a century is 175 years old, today. In terms of other major cities, Toronto is just a toddler. Yet, this city is one of the most vibrant, cosmopolitan (yet never forgetting its meagre beginnings), culturally diverse cities in the world. I'm not sure which I am more proud of--Toronto or Canada. To me, each represents the epitome of what a city or country should be. Mayor David Miller points to the city's public services, strong work ethic, frugality, and sense of social justice as keys to Toronto's success. I would agree with that sentiment. The city has come a long way from it's Puritan roots. I've heard stories that up until the 50's, city playgrounds were "locked" on the Lord's day so that children could not use them. Personally, I recall that you'd be hard-pressed to find any business open on a Sunday, including gas stations and stores. When I took my first vacation in Florida around 1979, arriving on a Sunday, I couldn't believe my eyes when we found a supermarket open. "Heathen!", I thought. ;) Even on week days, Toronto bars could not open until noon and could not serve alcoholic beverages until hours later unless it was accompanied by a meal. Pubs had to close at 1 a.m. Since then, Toronto has joined the ranks of the un-anointed with bars staying open until 2 a.m. and most shops opening on Sundays and those with tourist attraction designation are even open on statutory holidays. I used to have personal photos from the 50's but my ex- was too vindictive to let me have them after the divorce. So, instead I'll post a few of Toronto landmarks then and now from the web with commentary about my connection to them. Old City Hall: This is a relatively new photo of relatively old building (1899) still in use, today. I believe they still use courtrooms here and it boasts a jail in the basement for unruly "guests". I hate to admit that in my troubled youth, I was indeed a guest here once.

New City Hall: Built in 1965 to a tremendous positive reaction for it's unique architectural design, the taller tower is 27 floors and the "flying saucer" in the middle is the city council chamber. My school took us here on a field trip shortly after it opened.

Maple Leaf Stadium: It was built in 1926, but the team was already playing at another stadium since 1886. The team was part of the International League. I used to hear that names like Willie Mays, Sparky Anderson, etc. played here. When I was a kid in the early 60's, my friends and I used to regularly walk about thirty minutes to the stadium to collect discarded pop bottles to refund for candy money. Toronto would not get an MLB team until I believe, 1977, playing out of Exhibition Stadium, which by the way, played through a snowy day its very first opening day. Some question whether we have a major league team, today. Americans don't seem to have noticed that the Toronto Blue Jays won back to back World Series championships in '92 and '93.

Rogers Centre: Current home of the Blue Jays and Canadian Football League Argonauts. I was lucky enough to have been invited to watch a MLB game by a client who had a private box. When the stadium was first built, luxury boxes were going for $1 million for a ten-year commitment. Ouch. And that did not include the price of tickets, food, drinks or gratuities!

Maple Leaf Gardens: Built in 1926, it is regarded as the holy shrine of hockey. The Toronto Maple Leafs won four cups in five years here in the early 60's. Haven't won one since. Ouch. Cheap seats then were $2. When I was in my teens, I paid a scalper $20 for a $4 ticket. Ouch. Air Canada Centre: Today's home of both the Maple Leafs and the NBA Toronto Raptors. Due to poor performance of the leafs, I haven't attended a single game here. Due to the poor performance of the Raps, I attended only one game here because I got a free ticket. Downtown Toronto: Then.

Downtown Toronto: Now.

Toronto skyline: This shot was taken from Toronto island. Prominent is the CN Tower, built in 1974, at 1815 feet tall, it remained the tallest, free-standing structure in the world until 2008. Those "tiny" buildings to the right are as much as 90 stories tall. My brother-in-law, who is a welder, has his name permanently etched into one of the tower's steel girders. Around 1980, I had dinner in the revolving restaurant. What do you think?--Does $22 for lamb chops sound expensive for 1980? Ouch. I still have the two glasses shaped like the tower that our drinks were served in.

I left out a number of venues deserving mention. Maybe I'll feature others in future postings.

Love and the City

A couple of evenings ago, I had just turned on the TV and was hunting, when I stopped on a news story about volunteers teaching adolescents to cook. The story returned to Susan Hay, well-known Global TV weather girl and charity worker. The camera was close in on her face and in that moment it struck me what a truly rare young lady this is.

With bigtime looks and small town personality, she could take the world by the tail if she wanted. But what does she do, instead?

From 2001-2003, she hosted a news segment titled "Heart of the City" about community involvement. In 2003, Hay went to Africa with World Vision to help children orphaned by AIDS. She went to Africa two more times to transform lives. As if that isn't enough, Susan is a spokesperson for four charitable and research foundations, runs marathons to raise money for leukemia research, and is currently hosting "Making a Difference" seen bi-weekly on Global.

Ok, back to that instant in time I mentioned earlier. Just then, they flashed Susan Hay's e-mail address on the screen, and I jumed up and wrote her a short note commending her for all the good work she does. Despite being at the TV studio at the end of a very long and arduos day, this lovely woman took the time right there and then to respond to my e-mail within fifteen minutes of my having sent it.

The world could use a few more Susan Hays.

Woo Hoo!

The good news: I just finished an online poker tourny where I finished eleventh out of 2,382 entrants!

The bad news: It was only a freeroll (free to enter with very small prize money put up by the poker site), so all I won for my three hours of "work" was two dollars. Yes, you read it right.

What's in your wallet?

For a Massachusetts man, the answer is "ten human teeth". A Wal-Mart shopper who was about to purchase a new wallet, opened up a compartment and to his horror made the grisly discovery. Police were called but with no blood or gum tissue, no D.N.A. identification could be made. A spokesperson for the world's largest department store said she believes it is "an isolated incident".

"believes"? As in she's not sure? Was she covering up the fact that several times a week Wal-Mart customers find teeth in the wallets they purchase?

How appropriate that this story came from Falmouth, Mass.

The Story.

Warning:

If you're thinking of getting one of those payday loans where you borrow a few hundred bucks to be paid within a week or two, think again. You'd be better off selling a kidney. Apparently, the fees and interest rates are so high that many people get into a vicious cycle of borrowing to repay the first loan. I always thought interest rates of greater than 30% or so were illegal, but it seems I've been wrong all along. Some of these places charge as much as 800% per annum!

One poor woman who borrowed $500 spent the next year trying to extricate herself and in the process paid over $6,000 in interest and fees!

Just thought I'd pass on the warning.

Quote

Shaquille O'neal of the Phoenix Suns after scoring 45 points against Toronto Raptors last Friday night:

“I’m the only player who looks at each and every centre and says to myself, ‘That’s barbecued chicken down there.”’

Q & A's from around the web

Why do religious people look down on athiests?

The answer is much simpler than you think. A recent study has shown that believers, on average, are .37 inches taller than atheists. Plus, they spell better.