Odd News

A New York City man who was forced to leave a casino because patrons complained to staff has filed a complaint about his treatment with the Casino Control Commission. The man was followed into the restroom by a poker room manager and was told of the complaints from other gamblers. The stinky guy returned to his table but was asked to leave.

I don't know about you, but if in a bizarro world I was a 54 year old, 440 pound person who was gambling for 17 hours straight and I was told discreetly that half the casino was vomiting from the odour emanating from my body, the last thing I would do is go back to my seat to face my accusers. And if I had arrived by taxi, I would walk home, no matter how far, to avoid getting on a bus or into a cab near other people. What does this guy do? He makes a scene and then headlines with his antics. And now he demands an apology. You want an apology, Mr. Wax? We're sorry your B.O. will remain ingrained in the minds of our more fragrant clients whose business we may never see again thanks to you.

US toll in Iraq hits all-time low as month ends

That was the AP news headline today. Does anyone else believe that this is the calm before the storm that will be unleashed in the months ahead? The "opposition" in Iraq doesn't have the resources the Americans do or for that matter that Iraq has. But I don't believe that insurgents there are ready to give up, especially while American troops are still there. I expect that they are regrouping, raising money and re-organizing before mounting a major wave of attacks. Let's hope I'm wrong. Let's also hope that no major attack is perpetrated against a western country. After all, nothing has changed for those who have been disgruntled with The West for more than half a century.

My Recipe: Meatballs

Vinny’s Meat Balls

Ingredients:
225 grams (1/2 lb.) ground beef
225 grams (1/2 lb.) ground veal
225 grams (1/2 lb.) ground pork
3/4 cup bread crumbs
1/3 cup parmigiano (parmesan) cheese (reggiano if you can manage it)
2 tbs. of chopped Italian parsley (preferably fresh)
2 eggs, beaten
2-3 cloves chopped garlic
1 tsp. salt
pepper to taste
1 cup oil (in order of my preference: sunflower/canola/vegetable)
Yield: About 25 smallish meatballs

Directions:
1. Manually mix well all ingredients (except oil) in a large bowl.
2. Using palms, shape mixture into balls no larger than a golf ball.
3. If using in pasta sauce, do not fry. Place in sauce and simmer about 2 hours.
4. Pour oil into frying pan.
5. Set heat to medium high.
6. Place meatballs into pan allowing sufficient room to roll them around during frying.
7. Fry for about 5 minutes (from when sizzling starts), rolling them almost constantly to ensure uniform cooking and to avoid sticking.

Notes:
1. Do NOT fry until meatballs get scorched. If necessary, lower heat.
2. If using in pasta sauce, do not stir sauce very much to avoid disintegration.
3. Meatballs may be stored fried or uncooked in freezer until needed.
4. You can form marble-sized meatballs for use in soups such as chicken soup (do not fry, but be sure to simmer in soup sufficiently).

My Recipe: Lasagna

Vinny's Lasagna

Ingredients:
1 package (approximately 400 grams) of fresh lasagna or cannelloni/manicotti sheets
1 tub fresh ricotta
1 mozzarella ball
3 tablespoons parmesan cheese
2 eggs
2 tbsp. oil
Italian parsley
salt

Note: Also requires meat sauce as per my pasta sauce recipe.

Directions:
1. Prepare pasta sauce using ground beef as directed in my pasta recipe.
2. Slice pasta with sharp knife or pizza cutter into about 2 inch wide strips.
3. Hard boil the eggs (about 5 minutes after boiling starts). While waiting for the eggs…
4. Pour oil into very deep baking dish or a large roasting pot. Using a paper towel, grease bottom 5. and sides of baking dish.
6. Put a little of the meat sauce into the baking dish and spread.
7. Shell, chop (not too small) and salt the hard boiled eggs.
8. Place ricotta into a dish, work in about 2 tbsp of water and some chopped parsley and salt to taste.
9. Shred the mozzarella and set aside.
10. Mostly fill a large pot with water and bring to a boil--reduce to allow a gentle boil.
11. Add 2-3 tsp. of salt (depending on size of pot) to water.
12. Place 2 or 3 pasta strips into pot, boil for several minutes (until it softens and expands)
13. Very, very carefully (try to avoid tearing) lift out each pasta strip and set aside until you are 14. able to handle it without burning your fingers, but not so long that it sticks onto itself.
15. Keep repeating steps 11-12. When you have enough to double layer the bottom of the baking dish…
16. Place two rows of pasta covering the bottom of the pan, alternating the direction, each row perpendicular to the previous, making a weave pattern. Be sure to overlap the edges of the strips so that it stays together when serving.
17. Spread a little mozzarella, then ricotta, then a little sauce, then some egg, and finally a little more mozzarella.
18. Place a single layer of pasta (again, in the opposite direction of the previous layer)
19. Repeat steps 17-18 until you are out of ingredients.
20. Place a little sauce on top of lasagna, sprinkle the parmesan on top and shake/sprinkle some parsley on it.
21. Cover with lid or tightly wrap with foil. Bake for about 30 mins in preheated oven at 350 degrees.

My Recipe: Pasta Sauce

Vinny's Pasta Sauce

Ingredients:
A few meatballs or a few pork ribs/and or a few ounces of stewing beef or a few skinless chicken thighs or substitute approximately 400 grams of lean ground beef instead of any other meat.
One 23 fl. oz. jar strained tomatoes
1/3 of a 5.5 oz. can tomato paste
1 small onion (or half of a large one)
One or two cloves garlic, depending on size and taste (not your size, the size of the clove(s) and not the taste of the garlic--your taste) ;)
3 tbsp. oil, preferably olive oil
1 tsp. chopped oregano, fresh preferably
1 tsp. chopped Italian parsley, fresh preferably
1 tsp. chopped basil, fresh preferably
1 tsp salt (or to taste)
3-4 shakes ground pepper (or to taste)

Directions:
1. If using ground beef, brown as usual, seasoning with salt and pepper to taste and set aside.
2. Finely dice onion and garlic and set aside.
3. Pour oil into medium-sized saucepan and set burner to medium heat.
4. Unless using ground beef, place meat in saucepan, salt lightly and stir frequently until well braised on outside.
5. Throw onion into saucepan and continuing stirring until it is about to change colour (about 2 minutes).
6. Throw in garlic and continue stirring until onion and or garlic start to caramelize.
7. Pour strained tomatoes into saucepan--save lid. Pour about 1/3 cup water into the strained tomato jar, secure lid and swish water around. Pour contents into saucepan and stir.
8. Set burner on simmer.
9. Scoop out tomato paste and stir into sauce.
10. Put all seasonings into saucepan and stir.
11. If using ground beef, place previously browned meat into saucepan and stir.
12. Simmer for at least two hours, if possible, stirring occasionally.
13. Check for saltiness/seasoning after about an hour and make appropriate adjustments.

Notes:
1. Depending on the amount of fat content in the meat, you may end up with excess oil sitting on top of the sauce. If so, slip a teaspoon in and scoop out excess.

2. Depending on how long you cook the sauce, it may become too thick due to evaporation. If so, add a little water and stir.

I think they're trying to wear me down

I just got a phone call from Rogers Cable giving me a spiel on how they can save me a large amount of money by combining my current Rogers cable TV service with their phone service. I replied "There's no way you can beat the deal I have now." The girl says "How do you know that without doing a cost comparison?" To which I respond "Because you've been sending me three fricken pieces of mail and or flyers telling me about it every single week for the last five years!"

"Sorry to bother you, sir. Have a nice day." Click.

Actually, I didn't say "fricken" or raise my voice...damn it!

Please, never leave matches or lighters laying around

House fire causes $100,000 in damage

July 27, 2008 Elisabeth Johns
The Hamilton Spectator
Firefighters battled a blaze that caused $100,000 in damage to a Brantford home Saturday afternoon.

The fire broke out in a bedroom of a two-storey family home on Dorchester Avenue around 3:30 p.m.

When firefighters arrived on the scene, flames could be seen coming out the window of the room at the back of the house.

Firefighters were able to contain the fire to the bedroom and extinguish the blaze within eight minutes.

There were no injuries since no one was home at the time. A cat was found in the residence.

Q & A's from around the web

I have finally decided to let go of my lover and go back to my husband. Have i done the right thing in giving my lover up and staying in a marriage for the kids' sakes?

Um i dont think it is fair to your kids that you stay in it for them because you could be causing it to be miserable and there could be tention in the home and later on your kids dont know how to love because you didnt know how and you should have thought about your kids before you started cheating on your husband I cant believe that you even wrote about this you are being dishonest to your family and to me you arent helping anyone out except for yourself and you are going to keep this lie up of everything is ok and you were cheating on your husband now you have brought the possiblities of diseases to your marriage because who knows who your "lover" has been sleeping with besides you and who there partners been with and now you want to pretend that you guys are happy for the kids who is this really helping you or the kids?

Editor's note: I nominate this for "Longest Sentence of the Year Award".

Fifth Grader

I missed most of the show, tonight. Turned it on just in time to see this:

Q: What is the fewest amount of letters required to make a word in the English language.

Guy said he wasn't sure and opted to use his classmate's answer. Interesting, since the answer lies within the question, itself.

Paying the Bills

As a cable customer, Rogers Cable, owner of the "Dome Formerly Known as Skydome" and host of baseball's American League Blue Jays, wishes to offer me a chance to win a pair of tickets to "see the NFL's Buffalo Bills lock horns with the Pittsburgh Steelers" in a pre-season contest. The scheme is part of a multi-year deal bringing NFL teams here to show Canadians what real football is like (not Canadian football with its silly three-downs rule). I imagine its real purpose is to see if Toronto would support an NFL team of our own...and, of course, make oodles of money for Rogers.

Lord knows Ted Rogers needs money desperately. His company is the largest cable operator in Canada. He runs TV networks, wireless communication services, phone services internet service and the list goes on. For years, now, he's been begging me through endless mailings, flyers and ads to buy more services from him. Oh, and did I mention he owns the Blue Jays along with their fancy digs?--a facility he paid approximately $21 million for in 2004. Now, I don't begrudge a man trying to eke out a living in these rough times of revenue sharing that virtually ensures that no billionaire owner ever assumes any risk of losing money, but what about the poor Toronto taxpayers who were fleeced out of their hard-earned tax money to pay for the dome in the first place?

Teddy paid less than five cents on the dollar for the magnificent house that Art built and his first order of business was to rename the structure to "Rogers Centre". Shrewd thinking. Nobody could ever accuse him of practically stealing the Skydome because you see it's the Rogers Centre. Under then Toronto Mayor Art Eggleton's watchful eye, the retractable roof Skydome was constructed at a cost of a whopping $487 million--almost half a billion dollars! You could invade a small country for a price tag like that, couldn't you? Hell, we could have annexed Alaska when the Americans weren't looking. Who would notice?

Getting back to Roger's offer...he wants me to see the Bills and the Steelers live. I'm not sure why, though. You see, even if I watch them on the tube, there's a good chance that I would be watching them on his TV network. Of course! He wants me to buy his beer!

Note: Rogers bought Skydome from Chicago-based investors group Sportsco International who had purchased it out of bankruptcy in 1999 for about $92 million. But this doesn't make nearly as interesting a story.

This just in...

Perhaps you've heard: President Bush thinks that "Wall Street got drunk."

After asking guests at a private fund-raiser to turn their cameras off (clearly, at least one person didn't), Bush continued: "It got drunk, and now it's got a hangover. The question is: How long will it sober up and not try to do all these fancy financial instruments?"

With brilliant economic acumen like that controlling the American purse strings, it's a miracle the country hasn't completely imploded. I hope for everyone's sake it doesn't sink much further before the next inauguration takes place and a more advanced form of primate takes office.

Driving along in my automibile...

I kept forgetting to write about this. About a week and a half ago, I decided to drive to Mohawk Raceway one evening, about 25 miles from my hometown of Brampton, Ontario, just outside Toronto. I gave myself 30 minutes to get there, which should have been sufficient. As I got on Highway 401, the traffic was bumper to bumper, barely moving. It was a warm and pleasant evening and so I rolled down the windows, turned off the air conditioning and enjoyed the fresh air and sunshine. After fifteen minutes of this, and having covered only a few miles, the pleasantness was quickly fading. It must be some serious accident, I thought to myself.

The answer came fifteen minutes and a few more long miles down the six lane highway. It was, indeed, a substantial accident. A transport truck had flipped over on its side and was blocking all but one lane. I hoped that no one was seriously hurt. My prayers go out to anyone who was involved. I didn't examine the scene very closely, so I couldn't say how many vehicles and or how badly they may have been damaged. The reason being that I just wanted to get on my way. What really irritated me about the whole thing is that this terrible accident caused me and literally thousands of other drivers great inconvenience--never mind the wasted gas, even though it occurred ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY!

You want to hear a much sadder story? Let me tell you about the poor folks on the other side as I was speeding away from the scene. And I am not exaggerating. I estimate that about 25-50% of those travellers had come out of their vehicles resigned to the fact that they weren't moving even an inch anytime soon. They were having parties, throwing frisbees, chatting, walking, kids were playing tag, etc. It resembled a tail gate party more than it did one of the busiest highways in North America. This continued for pretty much the rest of the way to my destination. Maybe it wasn't sadder for them after all.

I had missed the first (horse) race, but was happy I wasn't going the other way. The evening was uneventful except for when I asked the girl serving me a cappuccino if anyone had ever told her she looks a lot like Ellen Degeneres. She was wearing a baseball cap and had her head down digging out my change, but I could see she had a large grin on her face. She said "Yes, but..." and the rest I couldn't make out as she mumbled it. And from my left, the female of a couple of cops agreed with me saying "Yes, she sure does, doesn't she?"

About three hours later, I hop in my car--which is hard to do since I don't drive a convertible, and hit the highway. Yeah, you guessed it. Sort of. The accident had been cleared, but for some unGodly reason, the stretch continued to be routed through a single lane. There appeared to be some construction going on, but I saw nothing to warrant using only one lane. It was stop and go, but only for a few miles, so again comparatively speaking, I felt lucky.

To all you rubber neckers: Keep your fricken eyes on the road ahead of you! And to everyone: Always carry a frisbee in the trunk.

McCartney doesn't disappoint

Sunday night, Sir Paul McCartney invaded The Plains of Abraham just outside Quebec City 250 years after The British conquered New France. Despite protests in the media and expectations of trouble at the concert, it went without a hitch. Sixty-six year old McCartney wowed the 200,000 fans for two and a half hours, performing songs from his career as a soloist, with Wings, and The Beatles. It was the only North American stop of his tour.


McCartney's former wife, Heather Mills, who sued the ex-Beatle for some $50 million dollars after only two years of marriage was spotted near the stage sporting a solid gold prosthetic leg furiously pressing the keys of a calculator.

First Gitmo war-crimes trial under way

First, U.S. President George Bush changed the definition of "war" by declaring it on an enemy he can't define by nationality. Next, he invaded a country that had nothing to do with "his war on terror". Then he changed the rules by which war is fought by detaining "enemy combatants" longer than prescribed by law without access to legal counsel. This trial is starting six and a half years after Gitmo opened for business. He wasn't finished yet, though. He also promoted and abetted the use of torture not only in Iraq but by shipping "prisoners" to countries known to use torture routinely so that he can pull a Bart Simpson and claim "I didn't do it".

It begs the question: Why bother now going through the motions of a trial? Why not go one step further and just execute anyone and everyone Bush and his cronies please? The Americans are the most powerful military and economic force in the world, their problems going forward notwithstanding. Their ability to stage coups and grant or withhold aid also makes them the most powerful influence in world politics. How can anyone oppose them (at least at the moment)?

I believe the day of reckoning is fast approaching. As American economic power erodes, so too does its military and coercive powers. As developing nations begin to achieve their economic due and America's deeds and modus operandi are more clearly seen and understood, she will become ostracized and alienated. No longer will the fear of American retaliation (military or economic) or fear of the effect of a great American economic slowdown, rule the minds and actions of the nations of the world.

We are living in very interesting times, indeed. A new world order is emerging, however, it will not be the one George Bush envisioned--either Bush.

News Story

Who are they trying to kid?

It looks like I'm not the only one who dabbles in "designing women". While searching for an image for a music video I'm working on, I came across a photo of an attractive, young woman. I googled her name but nothing could have prepared me for what I found. I should say here that I still have no idea what makes her a celebrity, but I suspect she may be some kind of model. I really don't care. First, let me show you a couple of Tara Reid choreographed photos:





The epitome of perfection, no?

Here's some spontaneous photos:





No doubt, she is crying because someone showed her a unretouched picture of herself.

And finally, a nice close-up of that beautiful , silky-smooth belly seen in the first two photos:


Whoever is doctoring up these images is a far better artist than (s)he is a photographer.

Q & A's from around the web

What are some American products that need quality improvement? Besides vehicles please

Cars.

George Bush.

...and the award for stating the most obvious goes to...

U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for calling President Bush "a total failure".

"You know, God bless him, bless his heart, president of the United States, a total failure, losing all credibility with the American people on the economy, on the war, on energy, you name the subject."

Congratulations, Nans! What took you so long?

From the same news item...

16 percent of those surveyed thought the country was moving in the right direction

I was going to write that those pollsters have really got to stop posing these questions to chimpanzees, but that would be unfair to the majority of primates who have seen the light and sold all their positions in American equities.

Full Story

Is this the result of child abuse?

...or is he just a dick?

I never knew much about Andy Dick--only that he always looked like a disturbed individual wherever I saw him. Now, I see his name in the news and I think to myself--maybe sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. See for yourself:

Andy Dick was arrested early Wednesday for investigation of drug use and sexual battery after the comedian allegedly pulled down a teenager's top, police said.

News Story

And from Wikipedia:

In 2005, Dick stirred controversy in Edmonton, Alberta at Yuk Yuk's comedy club when he dropped his pants and exposed his genitals to the audience. Amid the uproar, he was ushered off the stage and the second night was cancelled.

There are too many other incidents to mention.

Q & A's from around the web

When a horse takes a drop in class, does it know it's better than the other horses running that race?

Only when it passes the tote board and sees that it's the favourite.

My sleepy town is in the news!

Five men accused of plotting to detonate liquid explosives on board trans-Atlantic passenger jets have pleaded guilty to lesser offences in a London court.

The defendants allegedly identified seven flights from Heathrow airport to Chicago, New York, San Francisco, Washington, D.C., Toronto and Montreal, although prosecutors say no specific date had been selected.

Finally, Canada generally and Toronto specifically shed their "unimportant" status. Hurrah!

Full Story

Ding! Ding! Ding!

This morning at about 11:00 a.m., the fire alarm went off in my apartment building. Reluctantly, I walked down five flights of stairs. I noticed immediately that no one was in the stairwell and not one tenant from the building was outside. I know there's a good dozen or more cars in the parking lot most days so there are people at home. I strolled completely around the building and nary a person was seen. The fire department arrived and after several minutes, the alarm was shut off.

I guess it's a case of "crying wolf". Most alarms are false and so people are conditioned not to respond. I'm not even that crazy about my life but I got out of the building toot sweet. It'd be interesting to know how many people die or are injured each year by ignoring alarms. Maybe it's just nature's way of thinning the herd and cleansing the gene pool.

Brothel offers customers gas rebate

Clients of the Shady Lady Ranch will get a $50 gas voucher if they fork out $300 -- worth about one hour's worth of services -- at the brothel in Beatty, Nevada, 130 miles northwest of Las Vegas.

Owner James Davis said he already has had to order another $1,000 set of gas vouchers because the first $1,000 were spent in one week.

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If the price of gas goes any higher, I wouldn't be surprised if some women will be going to gas stations offering "services" of their own in exchange for a "fill-up".

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

This week's contestant is a school teacher. I hope she does better than the other teachers I've seen on the show. (I'm watching it as I write this.)

First mistake: Before getting to the first question, she proclaims she will not be admitting she's not smarter than a fifth grader--a requirement of not going all the way in the test and winning the $1 million grand prize. Something, incidentally, that no one to date has accomplished.

She's got up to $25 thousand answering such challenging questions as:

Spell "elephant".
and
What continent has the coldest annual average temperature?

The following question was more than she could handle...

What is the name of the river that forms the border between the state of Texas and Mexico?

She answered "Colorado River". She was saved by her "classmate".

Now, I'm just a stupid Canadian, but I didn't need the visual aid of the map to know it's the Rio Grande.

She didn't even attempt to answer the next question, opting to use her "cheat" and taking her classmate's answer--which was correct. In fact, all the students had the correct answer.

The next question was interesting:

In Fahrenheit, how hot is the surface of the sun?
a) 10,000 degrees
b) 35,000 degrees
c) 35 million degrees

Thinking out loud, she says to herself "The sun's really, really hot, so I'm going to say the hottest answer." Then, she thought better of it and decided she really didn't have a clue and "dropped out". Her fifth grade "classmate" had the right answer: 10,000 degrees. Definitely not smarter than a fifth grader.

The next contestant was a real door knob. His 'mates got him to $50,000, despite him asserting he knew answers that he did not. He did, however, admit that he didn't have the foggiest idea what a contraction in grammar was when presented with a grade one question and was again saved by a "classmate".

After seeing the $100,000 question, he confidently said "I know the answer. It's a Spanish dude and I'm going to lock in "Christopher Columbus". First of all, Columbus was Italian. Secondly, the question was about the explorer responsible for circumnavigating the globe in the 16th century. Thirdly, Columbus sailed in the 15th century--1492 to be exact. He dropped down to $25,000. His "classmate" had the right answer. Definitely not smarter than a fifth grader.

The preview for next week's program showed yet another guy who says he will be the first to win the million. I can't wait.

The compelling thing about this show is not how stupid people are--we see/hear/read about stupid people all the time. What does it for me is that they are completely oblivious to how stupid they are.

What's that sound?

War drums are beating louder as Iran test fires nuclear missiles. What choice does the U.S. have but to invade Iran? The world is not safe when a country has nukes to defend itself--particularly when said country has plenty of oil. History says so. I mean the U.S. says so.

With the price of oil in the stratosphere and no relief in sight, America is getting thirsty for additional cheap supply. Unfortunately (for the U.S.), the time is wrong for an invasion. The recession at home coupled with the troops being spread too thin indicates that such an adventure is unlikely in the short term.

What I think we're going to see is a prolonged period, say several years, where the Americans will denounce Iran using all the propaganda they can muster. Sound familiar? During this time, Iran will defy all calls to disarm. I always find it ironic that the bullies with the most and the best weapons, not to mention the proclivity to engage in warfare, are always the ones demanding disarmament of others, citing how dangerous they are. Who are they kidding?

Iran is no danger to anyone. If Iran makes a first strike against anyone, I will stand in front of City Hall and literally eat my hat. On the other hand, if anyone would like to take my wager that the U.S. war machine will strike somewhere, anywhere, before Iran does, I'll give you 100 to 1.

Is this thing on?

In the news: Rev. Jesse Jackson has apologized to the Obama campaign for saying he wanted to castrate Obama during a Fox News program. Is this guy unstable or what? In his apology, he stated that he was unaware that his mic was on at the time. Like that excuses it? Would he think it's alright if I met him on the street and called him a nigger since it wouldn't be on a broadcast? Give me a break.

Recently, Jackson also accused Obama of "talking down to blacks". What's wrong with this guy? Does he think Obama is trying to court the white vote? I think Jackson has mental issues. This isn't the first time he's made statements like this.

In 1984, he called New York City "Hymietown," referring to the city's large Jewish population. He later acknowledged it was wrong to use the term, but he said he did so in private to a reporter. Okie dokie--as long as it's in private, you can hate all the Jews you want, Jess...or niggers.

Where are they now?

I was flipping channels (again) and who should I discover but my old friend Illya Kuryakin. Actually, his name is David McCallum. Kuryakin was his character's name on the 60's hit TV show The Man From U.N.C.L.E. He was the second man--the first being Robert Vaughn (above, left). The show I saw McCallum on is NCIS. You may have seen Vaughn's many guest appearances on Law and Order.

You may have wondered why the show was called "man" rather than "men". Apparently, Vaughn was to star solo (his character just happened to be named Napolean Solo), but McCallum's small part in an early episode was a hit with fans and he was made a co-star.

Moment of Truth

Should they rename this TV show "Are you a Worthless Douche Bag?"? I've only watched this show a couple of times, including now as I write this. With the contestant's sister, boyfriend of five months and mom present, she admits:

She has snooped through her boyfriend's computer files.

She has left the scene of a car accident that she was at fault for.

She has woken up in bed with a man whose name she couldn't remember.

She has wished that a part of her boyfriend's anatomy were more endowed.

Now, all this is a pretty sad reflection of her poor character, but lest we forget...she also is the kind of person who would admit to having committed these most vile acts, disgracing herself and hurting, perhaps destroying her most important relationships before an audience of millions...for money.

Even whores conduct their business in private. Yeah..."worthless douche bag" is about right. Maybe they should have a new show called "Why I'm Still Involved With a Worthless Douche Bag".

Note: There's no misogyny in this post. I just haven't had the "pleasure" of viewing a male contestant's answers.

What's an Anderson Cooper?

What kind of a nut would name their child "Anderson"? For those who avoid CNN like the plague, Anderson Cooper hosts "Anderson Cooper 360".


"Anderson Cooper" isn't a name--it's a multi-national pharmaceutical corporati0n. It's two thirds of a law firm. It's a sub-sub-compact car model. But it isn't a person's name. Even if a parent had a sense of humour that sick, why wouldn't the object of such a cruel joke change his name to something sensible the second he learned he could? The only conclusion is that he likes it. That's just sick, isn't it?

Stock market sell-off?

I don't think so. Everyone from lay people to stock market analysts refer to the recent market activity (going decidedly lower) as a sell-off or as "everyone selling". Not everyone is selling. In fact, for every share sold, someone buys a share. That's the way the market works. You can't sell a single share unless someone is willing to buy it. So, you would be as accurate in calling it a buy-off as a sell-off. Just one of my kazillion pet peeves.

Giant spider?

Some guy on YouTube posted a video of a "giant garage spider". Watch it, then judge if what I posted (copied below) was justified.



Dude, when I was vacationing in the Dominican Republic, I found a spider on my room (indoor) wall that was about six inches in diameter. I whipped off my shoe and smashed it and the thing was still alive. I had to repeatedly hammer it to kill it. That was a spider.

Oh, Nelly!

It's official. I am an old fogey. I have been hearing and reading snippets about "Nelly" for some time. It wasn't until two days ago that I learned that Nelly was not a woman or even several women. Why would I think that, anyway? For the same fricken reason that if I hear about a musical talent named George, Ill assume it's a guy.

It's not that we didn't have such silliness in my generation--we had an actress named Michael Learned and a musical group named something "Brothers" (my usual steel trap memory is failing me, today) that was comprised of girls--but the thing is, I used to know about the music scene. I have completely lost interest in something I used to love to the point where I can know of an "artist" and not really know anything about him/her. I listen to a steady diet of 60's and 70's with an occasional smattering of pre-60's and post 70's. I'm either an old fogey or I've been spoiled...or both.

Are you smarter than a fifth grader

I just had to post this. The question was:

What 16th century Aztec emperor was killed by conquistador Hernando Cortes and his army?

The contestant said "I want to say 'Apollo', but that's that Greek guy". The kicker is that his wife is Mexican and she knew the answer.

If you're thinking "Montezuma", you're right.

Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

Tonight's contestant said she wanted to dispel the stereotype that beautiful women are dumb.

First of all, how presumptuous and conceited of her.

Secondly, a number of women before her have made similar statements, the vast majority of them having eaten their words, thereby promoting the stereotype. Unless she had never seen the show, wouldn't the smart thing have been to shut up?

The poor dear was completely stumped by:

An acorn comes from what tree?

Her answer to this difficult question? -- Pine tree.

She was saved by her classmate.

She was then presented with this question:

To what mountain range does the Matterhorn belong?

She looked dumbfounded (as she did after every question) and didn't say a word. The host tried to help her, saying "What mountain ranges do you know of?"

She said "The Appalachians...the Himalayas...(thinking she might be making a fool of herself, she continued)...but I'm not sure those are even mountain ranges or I just made the whole thing up." Then, obviously attempting to do damage control, quickly said she was "dropping out" (meaning she was taking the money she had won to that point and leaving).

She breathed new life into that tired, old stereotype.

Q & A's from around the web

im a german...if i join the airforce... can the airforce get me a green card?

You need to be a legal resident of the U.S. of A. in order to get a "green card"
Marry a hot American citizen fraulein or a horny MILF is your other option!

Amazing sidewalk art!

Hard to imagine that there is no hose and no water in this photograph.






Look at how he even drew the light reflecting off the bottle and how the neck appears to be off/above the sidewalk. Is this guy talented or what?

One of my favourites. The guy standing in the distance appears to be a tiny man on top of the bottle--got there via the "ladder". Not only is he artistic, he is extremely creative/imaginative.

I need to concentrate to convince my mind that this guy is kneeling on the sidewalk and not two feet below it. Genius!

Okay, now it's getting ridiculous.



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How much do you hate waiting in line?

Yesterday evening, I got a yearnin' for a chocolate sundae. I hadn't had one for years and was dying for one. It was warm out--not hot, so I figured the Dairy Queen shop shouldn't be too busy. I walked the ten or so blocks there and as I approached, I could see that there was a queue of people all the way out the door. It took me about .001 seconds to decide to walk back home. I think I would rather have a candle burn the underside of my foot than wait in line like cattle. If they were giving away cars, my reaction would be the same. Back home, the pralines and cream ice cream in my fridge tasted better than usual.

Diarrhea Explosion

How dreary would our lives be without the internet to enrich our experiences each and every day? Almost every foray into the web produces at least some prose, image audio or video that will stay with us a long time. And it often results from the unexpected--like these little gems:


Did you know that Amazon.com has "A community about diarrhea explosion."? And that they encourage you to "Share your images and discuss your questions with diarrhea explosion experts."? How does one become a diarrhea explosion expert? Is there a Diarrhea Explosion University? Do you exit with a BS in DE?

A couple of links further down the page and we're told about:

Diarrhea Explosion - Band Biography and mp3s/songs...

Clinking on the link reveals that there are indeed people who purposely named themselves "Diarrhea Explosion". I will forgo all the ca-ca jokes, but I would have been a lot happier if the link had turned out to be fake, and was simply created by inserting the search terms into the link name.

If you care to be further enriched, check out the other 425,000 links.

Q & A's from around the web

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