From Family Guy:
Chris: What do you do at a Young Republicans meeting?
Alyssa: We help those who already have the means to help themselves. Also, we perpetuate the idea that Jesus chose America to destroy non-believers and brown people.
Chris: I don't know why, but I feel safer already.
Saturday, 14 February 2009
Friday, 13 February 2009
Q & A's from around the web
How do you get rid of Cold Saws ASAP?
Bring them out of the tool shed and put them by the fire.
E-bay
Bring them out of the tool shed and put them by the fire.
E-bay
Thursday, 12 February 2009
He's no Jimmy Carter
You've probably heard about the massive salmonella outbreak caused by peanut products in the U.S. The story just got more interesting. Stewart Parnell, the owner of Peanut Corp. of America, who was forced by health officials to recall 1,800 different products, has refused to answer questions in a hearing of the House of Representatives subcommittee investigating the affair on the grounds it may incriminate him. Probably a wise decision since he is as guilty as can be.
So far, about 600 people have been made sick and nine people have died from ingesting the tainted foods.
This peanut-brained, sick bastard knowingly and systematically pushed through as much product as he could even when tests showed his Georgia plant was laden with salmonella bacteria. His guilt was secured by investigators in a number of e-mails he sent, once pleading with health officials to allow him to "turn the raw peanuts on the floor into money".
Once again, we see an example of the almighty dollar being placed above human health and even human lives. The last thing I want is for this guy to go to prison. He needs to work his tail off for the rest of his life and be made to pay restitution to each and every victim. Would anyone disagree with me? Let's see if his high-priced lawyer gets him off with a slap on the wrist.
It's times like these that I miss the good, old days when an angry mob carrying torches and pitchforks could pluck a guy like him out of his home and force feed him a half dozen of his own peanut butter sandwiches. Well, maybe I'll settle for my Pepsi.
So far, about 600 people have been made sick and nine people have died from ingesting the tainted foods.
This peanut-brained, sick bastard knowingly and systematically pushed through as much product as he could even when tests showed his Georgia plant was laden with salmonella bacteria. His guilt was secured by investigators in a number of e-mails he sent, once pleading with health officials to allow him to "turn the raw peanuts on the floor into money".
Once again, we see an example of the almighty dollar being placed above human health and even human lives. The last thing I want is for this guy to go to prison. He needs to work his tail off for the rest of his life and be made to pay restitution to each and every victim. Would anyone disagree with me? Let's see if his high-priced lawyer gets him off with a slap on the wrist.
It's times like these that I miss the good, old days when an angry mob carrying torches and pitchforks could pluck a guy like him out of his home and force feed him a half dozen of his own peanut butter sandwiches. Well, maybe I'll settle for my Pepsi.
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Name That Tune
I started another site recently called "Name That Tune". It's fashioned after the popular game show from the '70's. There are three clues in the form of increasing snippets of the beginning of classic rock and pop songs from mostly 50's-70's. Give it a whirl--maybe challenge your friends. The answer follows the clues in the form of a link. I've been adding a new tune each day, so be sure to bookmark it. You can get there from here. There's also a link on the right hand side of this page.
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
I feel sick to my stomach
Maybe I should make this a regular category. It seems that increasing numbers of things have this effect on me these days.
I just read that city aldermen in Calgary, Canada received a 5% pay hike. No, that's not the sickening part, although it doesn't make the stomach feel great in these trying economic times. Apparently, some of the aldermen were campaigning to scrap the increase, rightfully citing hard times as the impetus for letting the city keep the money. After all, times are just as hard for city coffers as they are for Joe Citizen.
The part that makes me want to throw up is that some of the others sitting around the council table who happily accepted the raise, say that the members who were fighting the increase were merely "grandstanding". Nothing like accusing those who would do the right thing of just trying to make the rest look bad. In effect, the shameful trying to shame the righteous.
I can't remember how many times in my life I got the same treatment. Once, when I was not yet established in a career, I was working in a very large printing shop, at the bottom of the ladder. When someone from a press crew was absent, a worker from the next lower rung would fill in for him. In my case, I got to be "roll man".
That job required that you check approximately 1,000-pound rolls of paper for nicks, stripping the roll down to where it was "clean" and then using a crane to lift and set the roll on the press. You also set up the roll to be spliced with the preceding roll as it finished, so that the paper would feed continuously. If you screwed up in either of these functions, the press would come to a stop and precious time, paper and manpower were wasted in getting started again.
On a particularly bad week, production-wise, our foreman came to chew out our crew and one thing he said was that on the times that I was working as roll man, the production rate was higher and the wastage was lower. I should mention that this particular press had three crews that worked around the clock. Anyway, it didn't take more than a few minutes for the regular roll man from my crew to come to me and give me shit for making him look bad. What kind of twisted thinking is this?
Something else from that job sticks out in my mind. There were a few guys who sometimes as they were finishing their shift would say to me in a very proud manner as I was arriving for my shift "I just f____ed the dog all day". If you're unfamiliar with this expression, it means "did nothing".
I just read that city aldermen in Calgary, Canada received a 5% pay hike. No, that's not the sickening part, although it doesn't make the stomach feel great in these trying economic times. Apparently, some of the aldermen were campaigning to scrap the increase, rightfully citing hard times as the impetus for letting the city keep the money. After all, times are just as hard for city coffers as they are for Joe Citizen.
The part that makes me want to throw up is that some of the others sitting around the council table who happily accepted the raise, say that the members who were fighting the increase were merely "grandstanding". Nothing like accusing those who would do the right thing of just trying to make the rest look bad. In effect, the shameful trying to shame the righteous.
I can't remember how many times in my life I got the same treatment. Once, when I was not yet established in a career, I was working in a very large printing shop, at the bottom of the ladder. When someone from a press crew was absent, a worker from the next lower rung would fill in for him. In my case, I got to be "roll man".
That job required that you check approximately 1,000-pound rolls of paper for nicks, stripping the roll down to where it was "clean" and then using a crane to lift and set the roll on the press. You also set up the roll to be spliced with the preceding roll as it finished, so that the paper would feed continuously. If you screwed up in either of these functions, the press would come to a stop and precious time, paper and manpower were wasted in getting started again.
On a particularly bad week, production-wise, our foreman came to chew out our crew and one thing he said was that on the times that I was working as roll man, the production rate was higher and the wastage was lower. I should mention that this particular press had three crews that worked around the clock. Anyway, it didn't take more than a few minutes for the regular roll man from my crew to come to me and give me shit for making him look bad. What kind of twisted thinking is this?
Something else from that job sticks out in my mind. There were a few guys who sometimes as they were finishing their shift would say to me in a very proud manner as I was arriving for my shift "I just f____ed the dog all day". If you're unfamiliar with this expression, it means "did nothing".
Monday, 9 February 2009
Encounters
No, it's not what you think. I just realized I'm late with the rest of this post from a couple of days ago.
My idea is this: Rather than place an ankle bracelet that allows police to track sexual predators on parole, etc., why not equip children with a simple device that signals them when a known paedophile is in the vicinity? Also or alternatively, the same signal can be received by a parent or anyone carrying a cell phone. The man's privacy is upheld since only his wherabouts is indicated and children are kept safe. It's a win/win situation. Carriers, politicians and police services, are you listening?
My idea is this: Rather than place an ankle bracelet that allows police to track sexual predators on parole, etc., why not equip children with a simple device that signals them when a known paedophile is in the vicinity? Also or alternatively, the same signal can be received by a parent or anyone carrying a cell phone. The man's privacy is upheld since only his wherabouts is indicated and children are kept safe. It's a win/win situation. Carriers, politicians and police services, are you listening?
Q & A's from around the web
Why are smokers not affected by secondhand smoke?
If someone farts while you're eating feces, it doesn't seem to bother you.
If someone farts while you're eating feces, it doesn't seem to bother you.
Sunday, 8 February 2009
Q & A's from around the web
My wife broke her leg so she can't bring me beer for a while. Should I divorce her?
Serious answers only.
Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldn't go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?
Serious answers only.
Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldn't go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Close Encounters of the unwanted kind
How come there's a national "Do not call" list designed to keep annoying telephone calls from disturbing the peace and sanctity of our personal space, and spam blockers designed to allow us to keep billions of unwanted e-mails from destroying our time and sanity, but there's nothing to stem the tide of unsolicited junk mail cluttering up our cherished bills, parking tickets and notices of jury duty?
Why is it legal for someone to send me as much crap as they can afford to send and I am obligated under threat of being taken away by armed agents of the government, to accept it all? Isn't it about time that in the name of the environment, not to mention in the name of Vinny, that a national "Do not send" list is established?
Virtually every business day of the year, I receive about three pieces of junk mail. I never spend more than the time it takes to pick it up and deliver it to my recycling bag, reading any of it. Yes, it's good that it is recycled (I hope you all do, too), but there is a large cost involved in the life cycle of printed matter.
And while I'm coming up with ideas for this wish list, can someone please come up with a "Do not encounter" list for cell phones? You know, you populate your cellphone with the names--phone numbers, I guess, of people you'd least like to run into, say, your ex-wife who took you to the cleaners and would frisk you for more in a chance encounter, the guy you borrowed $50 from a month ago that you were supposed to pay back three weeks ago, Uncle Leo, etc., and through the magic of GPS, keeps them at bay. Perhaps for a small additional monthly fee, the phone will direct you to the nearest and best hiding place when someone from your DNE list is dangerously near.
A light bulb just went off--or is it "went on"? Funny that we say an alarm went off when it really went on. Anyway, on this same theme...ya know what? This post is long enough. If your attention span is as short as mine, you stopped reading after the first paragraph. I'll describe my brilliant idea in another post, tomorrow. Be sure to stop by. I'll be serving free coffee and Danish.
Why is it legal for someone to send me as much crap as they can afford to send and I am obligated under threat of being taken away by armed agents of the government, to accept it all? Isn't it about time that in the name of the environment, not to mention in the name of Vinny, that a national "Do not send" list is established?
Virtually every business day of the year, I receive about three pieces of junk mail. I never spend more than the time it takes to pick it up and deliver it to my recycling bag, reading any of it. Yes, it's good that it is recycled (I hope you all do, too), but there is a large cost involved in the life cycle of printed matter.
And while I'm coming up with ideas for this wish list, can someone please come up with a "Do not encounter" list for cell phones? You know, you populate your cellphone with the names--phone numbers, I guess, of people you'd least like to run into, say, your ex-wife who took you to the cleaners and would frisk you for more in a chance encounter, the guy you borrowed $50 from a month ago that you were supposed to pay back three weeks ago, Uncle Leo, etc., and through the magic of GPS, keeps them at bay. Perhaps for a small additional monthly fee, the phone will direct you to the nearest and best hiding place when someone from your DNE list is dangerously near.
A light bulb just went off--or is it "went on"? Funny that we say an alarm went off when it really went on. Anyway, on this same theme...ya know what? This post is long enough. If your attention span is as short as mine, you stopped reading after the first paragraph. I'll describe my brilliant idea in another post, tomorrow. Be sure to stop by. I'll be serving free coffee and Danish.
Friday, 6 February 2009
Classic cars from my childhood
Back in the late 60's, my older brother must have been quite a car enthusiast--probably "nut" is a more accurate adjective...even if it is a noun. He had recently purchased this beauty... (you can read about it here)
...a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 396, when he shortly thereafter embarked on an ambitious plan to build a '57 Chevy from the ground up, no less.
I remember him working on that car in the garage, sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend, at all hours, often working in the dark by the light of one of those lamps-on-a-cord-with-a-hook thingees. I can recall the jubilation when the engine first turned over. There would have been high fives all around except I'm almost positive no one had ever done a high five until a decade or two later. Even after that first milestone, there were setbacks. The car would randomly stall, sending my bro back to the drawing board.
The car wasn't one of my favourite colours--plain white, but millions of people the world over consider the '57 Chevy one of the most stylish vehicles ever produced.
Another thing I remember is how loud that street machine was. I don't recall what size engine was in it or what kind of exhaust system/mufflers/resonators it had, but I can tell you unequivocally that it would not be ignored. A slight touch of the gas pedal, idling or not, and heads would turn from a block away. What I do know is that the Chevelle's 396 CID was bigger than whatever was in the Chev.
You may not believe what I am about to share, but I have heard this from my brother on more than one occasion. The '57 was faster off the line than the muscle car Chevelle! The only reason I can think of why this was so, is that the gear ratio must have favoured lower speeds in the '57.
It seems that "the white car" (how my 13 year old brain thought of it) wasn't with us very long. One day while bro was out cruisin' on Yonge Street, he came to a red light alongside a guy on a noisy bike. They glanced at each other and they rev'ed their respective machines. It seems silly to even think that a street-legal car could compete with even a moderately quick motorcycle, but...
The light turned green, the engines screamed, the tires screeched and like greased lightning they were off. In what must have seemed like a split second, driver and rider came to an even faster stop at the next light, the car slightly before the bike. The rider was blown away. He offered to buy the car from my brother on the spot and soon thereafter, I never saw "the white car" again.
To see all posts in this series click here.
Last Kiss music video.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
...a 1967 Chevrolet Chevelle SS 396, when he shortly thereafter embarked on an ambitious plan to build a '57 Chevy from the ground up, no less.
I remember him working on that car in the garage, sometimes alone, sometimes with a friend, at all hours, often working in the dark by the light of one of those lamps-on-a-cord-with-a-hook thingees. I can recall the jubilation when the engine first turned over. There would have been high fives all around except I'm almost positive no one had ever done a high five until a decade or two later. Even after that first milestone, there were setbacks. The car would randomly stall, sending my bro back to the drawing board.
The car wasn't one of my favourite colours--plain white, but millions of people the world over consider the '57 Chevy one of the most stylish vehicles ever produced.
Another thing I remember is how loud that street machine was. I don't recall what size engine was in it or what kind of exhaust system/mufflers/resonators it had, but I can tell you unequivocally that it would not be ignored. A slight touch of the gas pedal, idling or not, and heads would turn from a block away. What I do know is that the Chevelle's 396 CID was bigger than whatever was in the Chev.
You may not believe what I am about to share, but I have heard this from my brother on more than one occasion. The '57 was faster off the line than the muscle car Chevelle! The only reason I can think of why this was so, is that the gear ratio must have favoured lower speeds in the '57.
It seems that "the white car" (how my 13 year old brain thought of it) wasn't with us very long. One day while bro was out cruisin' on Yonge Street, he came to a red light alongside a guy on a noisy bike. They glanced at each other and they rev'ed their respective machines. It seems silly to even think that a street-legal car could compete with even a moderately quick motorcycle, but...
The light turned green, the engines screamed, the tires screeched and like greased lightning they were off. In what must have seemed like a split second, driver and rider came to an even faster stop at the next light, the car slightly before the bike. The rider was blown away. He offered to buy the car from my brother on the spot and soon thereafter, I never saw "the white car" again.
To see all posts in this series click here.
Last Kiss music video.
Click here to go to most recent posts.
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Is there a software that can adjust the brightness of my monitor?
You behoves retrevial drivers for department's plant (graphics card, monitor).You can take it in corporation provided, produce's, upper or google.com
Editor's note: I thought I had a reasonable grasp of computers, but maybe not. I can't understand a word of the above answer. Can you?
You behoves retrevial drivers for department's plant (graphics card, monitor).You can take it in corporation provided, produce's, upper or google.com
Editor's note: I thought I had a reasonable grasp of computers, but maybe not. I can't understand a word of the above answer. Can you?
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Humber College to International Space Station: Do you copy?
Four community college students from Toronto contacted the space station through a hand-built apparatus, making them the first college-level students in the world to do so. It took them more than a year and a half to build the transceiver with many setbacks along the way, but in the end, the successful contact was so overwhelming that one of the students broke down and cried.
A number of the campus students spoke with U.S. astronaut Sandra Magnus for about ten minutes while she hurtled through space at 27,000 kilometres per hour.
The students' professor called his students' accomplishment the highlight of his career.
In a strange coincidence, I have a personal connection to this story. I happen to have attended Humber College when I was a youth. It's a small world, isn't it? Even when you're talking to someone out in space.
The Story.
A number of the campus students spoke with U.S. astronaut Sandra Magnus for about ten minutes while she hurtled through space at 27,000 kilometres per hour.
The students' professor called his students' accomplishment the highlight of his career.
In a strange coincidence, I have a personal connection to this story. I happen to have attended Humber College when I was a youth. It's a small world, isn't it? Even when you're talking to someone out in space.
The Story.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
17th century sanitary conditions in 2009?
One thing that always gets my ire up is when the almighty dollar is put ahead of people's health, safety or well-being. In recent days, there has been a media circus surrounding the closing of a supermarket by Toronto health department officials due to a "heavy infestation of mice" and evidence of a rat infestation, also.
News reports indicate that after a store customer complained to Toronto Public Health, "a large number of rodent droppings in display, food preparation and storage areas" were witnessed by health inspectors. The store, part of one of the largest food chains in Canada, released the following statement:
News reports indicate that after a store customer complained to Toronto Public Health, "a large number of rodent droppings in display, food preparation and storage areas" were witnessed by health inspectors. The store, part of one of the largest food chains in Canada, released the following statement:
"The store is currently undergoing an intense sanitization process. Our food safety team is on-site and assessing all products for any potential compromise to packaging. Loblaws vows to remove any products at risk and to review pest control processes. We are committed to providing customers with a clean and safe store environment. We are taking swift action to resolve the situation."
It begs the following questions:
Where was the "intense sanitization process" before they got caught for this gross violation?
Where was the commitment to "review pest control processes"?
The most damning thing is that clearly many employees were aware of the severity of the problem with droppings all over the place and yet no one chose to do anything about it. As far as I'm concerned, the promises to rectify the situation are as empty as I hope the store will be for the foreseeable future. The health and safety of Loblaw's own customers, the ones filling the store's coffers, were blatantly and totally disregarded. The good ship Trust has sailed, Mr. Weston.
If you won't do the right thing for you customers, at least do it for the future of your employees. And if not for them, then for your own future bottom line and quite possibly your own job. If you haven't already, I suggest you initiate a complete and thorough inspection and review of possible infestation at each and every Loblaws store. In the end, it may be cheaper than doing nothing. Even if it isn't, consider it the cost of getting a good night's sleep. One can only hope that it did not come easy the last few days.
Monday, 2 February 2009
A Page out of the history books
I've never been a fan of Bettie Page. Hell, I hardly knew who she was--just heard her name bandied about. If you've never heard of her, she was what used to be referred to as a pin-up girl. That was back when newspapers didn't display women's breasts in all their glory and you had to buy (or sneak a peek at) what used to be called a smut magazine. Hell, in "the olden days", there were smut magazines that didn't even show nipples! It was a much different world from today. Miss Bettie Page was also one of the early girls appearing in Playboy.
Just yesterday, I inadvertently learnt she died in 2008 and being the inquisitive type, I decided to do some research. This intensive work consisted of doing a Google image search of her name. I didn't find her to be overly attractive, but then, who was in the 50's? As I pored over dozens of Bettie's pix, one of them stopped me in my tracks.
Although she is featured in provocative poses and in various stages of undress, only in this one particular photo did she have the slightest effect on my er, um prurient interest. She bears an uncanny resemblance to a girl I've had a crush on since I was a child. In fact, the apple of my eye is every bit as attractive today as she was way back then. See if you don't agree...
Veronica Lodge then and now:
Bettie Page then:
Side by side:
Is there not a striking resemblance? Further coincidence is that "Betty" (different spelling) is Veronica's best friend's name. As it turns out, the creator of the Archie comic book characters, Bob Montana, fashioned Archie's girlfriend around Veronica Lake, a popular actress back in the 40's. I wonder if Lake had a lodge...
The Archies
Just yesterday, I inadvertently learnt she died in 2008 and being the inquisitive type, I decided to do some research. This intensive work consisted of doing a Google image search of her name. I didn't find her to be overly attractive, but then, who was in the 50's? As I pored over dozens of Bettie's pix, one of them stopped me in my tracks.
Although she is featured in provocative poses and in various stages of undress, only in this one particular photo did she have the slightest effect on my er, um prurient interest. She bears an uncanny resemblance to a girl I've had a crush on since I was a child. In fact, the apple of my eye is every bit as attractive today as she was way back then. See if you don't agree...
Veronica Lodge then and now:
Bettie Page then:
Side by side:
Is there not a striking resemblance? Further coincidence is that "Betty" (different spelling) is Veronica's best friend's name. As it turns out, the creator of the Archie comic book characters, Bob Montana, fashioned Archie's girlfriend around Veronica Lake, a popular actress back in the 40's. I wonder if Lake had a lodge...
The Archies
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Life is ebbing away
I'm 54 years old and I'm dying. I don't have cancer. I don't have heart disease. I don't have any terminal affliction at all. As I was watching a documentary about the making of the 1957 movie Sweet Smell of Success (starring Burt Lancaster, Tony Curtis and Martin Milner, best known for Adam-12), something I've been feeling for a few years now suddenly became clear. Every time another celebrity from my early life passes away, so too does a piece of me. I have seen hundreds of heroes and villains alike go to the great beyond. This evening, it felt like there's very little left of me to die.
It doesn't help that I have lost interest in some of the things that used to inspire, enlighten and fill my life with joy. I haven't been to the movie theatre in four years, before that, it was ten years. Between the years I was five and twelve years old (early 60's), I used to go to the movies once a week. It shaped my early impressions of life. Later, when I was about 20, I returned to my weekly habit of movie-going. That lasted about 10 years. It seems that the biggest draw became special effects.
I had the misfortune of having a formative mind just at the time that rock and roll was born. Misfortune, because once the explosion and subsequent wave of incomprehensibly historic music waned, for me, it was as if music had died altogether. Hip hop just doesn't cut it after living through Elvis, The Twist, Beatle Mania, The British Invasion, Woodstock, Heavy Rock, etc.
I never realized how much some of the celebrities who were a part of my life meant to me until they were gone. I don't even understand now why watching an episode of the Dean Martin Roast series on YouTube practically brings me to tears even though I might have a huge grin on my face. I mean other than the fact that probably about half the guests from those shows are ghosts now. It's as if the death of each figure from my childhood takes a little of the colour of my soul away and soon I will be invisible...like them.
I wasn't ready for it, although it's perfectly logical that a point would be reached where the rate of dying celebs from any era would reach a crescendo. At my current age, many of the actors, musicians, comics, etc. that I watched, listened to, laughed at and idolized in my early life, who were just establishing themselves are now about 65-75 years old--right about life expectancy for them. I have mourned so many of the older ones already; I feel I don't have the heart to endure any more. Here is just a sample of the prominent figures who met their maker in 2008...
Suzanne Pleshette - Emily on The Bob Newhart Show.
Roy Scheider - French Connection, Jaws
Sir Arthur C. Clarke - 2001-A space Odyssey
Richard Widmark - Judgement at Nuremberg
Charleton Heston - Ben Hur, Planet of the Apes
Dick Martin - Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In
Harvey Korman - Carol Burnett Show, Blazing Saddles
George Carlin - Comic
Larry Harmon - You probably know him by his "other name"--Bozo the Clown
Isaac Hayes - Wrote the theme from Shaft, the chef on South Park
Jerry Reed - When You're Hot, You're Hot, Amos Moses, Smokey and the Bandit
Paul Newman - List too long
Bettie Page - 50's pin-up model, early Playboy centrefold
Van Johnson - Actor
Rock and Roll Heaven
It doesn't help that I have lost interest in some of the things that used to inspire, enlighten and fill my life with joy. I haven't been to the movie theatre in four years, before that, it was ten years. Between the years I was five and twelve years old (early 60's), I used to go to the movies once a week. It shaped my early impressions of life. Later, when I was about 20, I returned to my weekly habit of movie-going. That lasted about 10 years. It seems that the biggest draw became special effects.
I had the misfortune of having a formative mind just at the time that rock and roll was born. Misfortune, because once the explosion and subsequent wave of incomprehensibly historic music waned, for me, it was as if music had died altogether. Hip hop just doesn't cut it after living through Elvis, The Twist, Beatle Mania, The British Invasion, Woodstock, Heavy Rock, etc.
I never realized how much some of the celebrities who were a part of my life meant to me until they were gone. I don't even understand now why watching an episode of the Dean Martin Roast series on YouTube practically brings me to tears even though I might have a huge grin on my face. I mean other than the fact that probably about half the guests from those shows are ghosts now. It's as if the death of each figure from my childhood takes a little of the colour of my soul away and soon I will be invisible...like them.
I wasn't ready for it, although it's perfectly logical that a point would be reached where the rate of dying celebs from any era would reach a crescendo. At my current age, many of the actors, musicians, comics, etc. that I watched, listened to, laughed at and idolized in my early life, who were just establishing themselves are now about 65-75 years old--right about life expectancy for them. I have mourned so many of the older ones already; I feel I don't have the heart to endure any more. Here is just a sample of the prominent figures who met their maker in 2008...
Suzanne Pleshette - Emily on The Bob Newhart Show.
Roy Scheider - French Connection, Jaws
Sir Arthur C. Clarke - 2001-A space Odyssey
Richard Widmark - Judgement at Nuremberg
Charleton Heston - Ben Hur, Planet of the Apes
Dick Martin - Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In
Harvey Korman - Carol Burnett Show, Blazing Saddles
George Carlin - Comic
Larry Harmon - You probably know him by his "other name"--Bozo the Clown
Isaac Hayes - Wrote the theme from Shaft, the chef on South Park
Jerry Reed - When You're Hot, You're Hot, Amos Moses, Smokey and the Bandit
Paul Newman - List too long
Bettie Page - 50's pin-up model, early Playboy centrefold
Van Johnson - Actor
Rock and Roll Heaven
Saturday, 31 January 2009
Ripped from the headlines
I saw a headline for this story on the TV listings channel and then hopped over to my PC to find the full story.
A homeless man who couldn't find a warm place to spend the night was rudely awakened by police in the bank lobby he was was catching Z's in. As punishment for his crime, he was sentenced to 30 days in a larger, warmer room, this one with free meal service. I'll bet he won't want to go through that ordeal again.
The Story.
A homeless man who couldn't find a warm place to spend the night was rudely awakened by police in the bank lobby he was was catching Z's in. As punishment for his crime, he was sentenced to 30 days in a larger, warmer room, this one with free meal service. I'll bet he won't want to go through that ordeal again.
The Story.
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Now, you know
This video is so compelling, it just flies by. It explains the urgency with which we need to act to prevent a catastrophic meltdown of the planet--not necessarily due to global warming, but to many of the systems we take for granted every day--financial, food production, globalization, density, consumption, environment, etc. These systems are all based on infinite expansion, which is not only unsustainable, it can and will come to a screeching halt much sooner than most people think. World renowned Canadian author, broadcaster, environmentalist Dr. David Suzuki explains:
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Do Not Call or Do Not Care?
Unscrupulous telemarketers (mostly based outside North America) are actually using the list as a source of names to call. In Canada, the CRTC (government body) requires telemarketers to pay a fee (dependent on which area/how many names) to download a DNC list with a risk of a $15,000 fine if they call anyone on the list. Some of these low-lifes are paying, for example, $50 for 600,000 live names on the Toronto list--it's a telemarketer's wet dream!
And just now, I stumbled upon a website whose only business is to supply telemarketers with DNC lists at wholesale prices! They are registered with the national DNC, download a fresh list each day and then resell the names at a discount to anyone who wants the names. Kind of restores you faith in humanity, doesn't it? Now, you know why you're still gettting calls.
And unless these people are based in the country they are calling, there's nothing anyone can do about it--they are out of the jurisdiction of authorities.
And just now, I stumbled upon a website whose only business is to supply telemarketers with DNC lists at wholesale prices! They are registered with the national DNC, download a fresh list each day and then resell the names at a discount to anyone who wants the names. Kind of restores you faith in humanity, doesn't it? Now, you know why you're still gettting calls.
And unless these people are based in the country they are calling, there's nothing anyone can do about it--they are out of the jurisdiction of authorities.
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
I am outraged and ashamed
There is no bigger proponent of multi-culturalism and racial diversity than I. I am also a proud Canadian trumpeting far and wide on this medium how great a place Canada is as the most culturally diverse country in the world. We seem to get along much better than most countries, celebrating our differences in so many ways--via parades, food fairs, picnics, festivals, etc., some of these events attracting over one million participants, many travelling from other countries to join the festivities.
But this past week, an incident has tarnished Canada's image. It is alleged that three drunken Vancouver-area, off-duty police officers brutally assaulted and robbed a man of colour. In the process, the victim alleges that one of the officers uttered a racial statement. As of this writing, no charges have been laid, but it seems very likely that there will be soon.
You may be asking yourself why I'm bringing this to light. I'm conflicted about it, really, but let me try to explain. It's not the Canadian way to sweep things under the rug. If we do wrong, we acknowledge it, hold those responsible accountable, make reparations, and fix things that need fixing. Hopefully, the publicity this case attracts will inspire authorities and politicians to work that much harder to ensure that conditions that allow something like this to happen, are rectified.
For anyone to commit such a heinous crime is appalling, but for members of those sworn "to serve and protect", it is nothing short of sickening. I just hope that justice will be served in the way of severe punishment for the guilty. The last thing we need is for the poor victim to be victimized again.
The Story.
But this past week, an incident has tarnished Canada's image. It is alleged that three drunken Vancouver-area, off-duty police officers brutally assaulted and robbed a man of colour. In the process, the victim alleges that one of the officers uttered a racial statement. As of this writing, no charges have been laid, but it seems very likely that there will be soon.
You may be asking yourself why I'm bringing this to light. I'm conflicted about it, really, but let me try to explain. It's not the Canadian way to sweep things under the rug. If we do wrong, we acknowledge it, hold those responsible accountable, make reparations, and fix things that need fixing. Hopefully, the publicity this case attracts will inspire authorities and politicians to work that much harder to ensure that conditions that allow something like this to happen, are rectified.
For anyone to commit such a heinous crime is appalling, but for members of those sworn "to serve and protect", it is nothing short of sickening. I just hope that justice will be served in the way of severe punishment for the guilty. The last thing we need is for the poor victim to be victimized again.
The Story.
Monday, 26 January 2009
US STOCKS-Lower open seen as Caterpillar woes weigh
...was one of the headlines this morning prompting this image in my mind:
Q & A's from around the web
How to recognize whether someone is acting or not in front of you?
If they utter the words "But soft, what light through yonder window...", there's a good chance that they are acting.
If they utter the words "But soft, what light through yonder window...", there's a good chance that they are acting.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Why DID BUSH PROMISE TO CATCH OSAMA BIN LADEN DEAD OR ALIVE THEN FAIL??
Unless Bin Laden is right next to the oil, they will never find him.
Unless Bin Laden is right next to the oil, they will never find him.
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Excuse my enthusiasm
It's not often I have something to get excited about when it comes to my beloved basketball team. Last night was one of those precious times...
If anyone wasn't sure how important point guard Jose Calderon is to the success of the Toronto Raptors, they should know now. After being out for 11 games during which Raps had lost the last seven straight, Calderon's return last night punctuated his worth. He scored a game-high 23 points (on nine of ten from the field including a three-pointer), had ten assists and was a perfect four for four from the free throw line, leading Raps to an easy ten-point victory (114-104) over the Chicago Bulls. And he needed only 29 minutes to do it-he was on a minutes watch due to his return from his injury.
In doing so, Calderon became the owner of the second-longest consecutive free-throw streak in NBA history. He is a perfect 80 for 80 this season plus three from last season. The record is 97. At Jose's current pace, he may be in a position to break it within the next six games.
If anyone wasn't sure how important point guard Jose Calderon is to the success of the Toronto Raptors, they should know now. After being out for 11 games during which Raps had lost the last seven straight, Calderon's return last night punctuated his worth. He scored a game-high 23 points (on nine of ten from the field including a three-pointer), had ten assists and was a perfect four for four from the free throw line, leading Raps to an easy ten-point victory (114-104) over the Chicago Bulls. And he needed only 29 minutes to do it-he was on a minutes watch due to his return from his injury.
In doing so, Calderon became the owner of the second-longest consecutive free-throw streak in NBA history. He is a perfect 80 for 80 this season plus three from last season. The record is 97. At Jose's current pace, he may be in a position to break it within the next six games.
Q & A's from around the web
My wife broke her leg so she can't bring me beer for a while. Should I divorce her?
Serious answers only.
Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldnt go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?
Serious answers only.
Surely you can rig up a chair on wheels so she can do her duty. What kind of man wouldnt go a little out of his way to add a couple wheels to her kitchen stool so she can bring you whatever you need?
Friday, 23 January 2009
Spank the monkey!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a
peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to crap out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Nice gig if you can get it
$14 million per year. How does that sound? That's what Brian Colangelo, Toronto Raptors President and General Manager negotiated to pay Jermaine O'Neal. This, for a guy who has a history of bad knees. It seems an excessive wager. I wouldn't pay that much for the best knees in the world. To be honest, I haven't followed NBA salaries since--well, never. But J.O.'s season seems to agree with my point of view.
He had a very slow start, putting up numbers like 4-6 points per game. Then, just as he was starting to click with a few high-scoring games, he flopped like a fish out of water. I don't recall how many games he was out for. I don't remember because he's been out several different times already and we're only in the middle of the season. He's probably missed almost as many games as he has played.
Now, there are trade rumours, but who in their right mind will take a chance on him now that they've seen confirmation that he is washed up? Colangelo, for the most part, was hailed as the second coming of Christ in Toronto, but the sheen on his halo has been fading about as fast as the Raptors have been sliding down the Eastern Division standings--currently on a seven-game losing streak.
Colangelo has collected a team of somewhat talented, nice guys who lack the killer instinct necessary to compete in the NBA. No team has blown more double-digit leads than the Raps--once coughing up an 18-point lead. They have the most porous defense in the league. I have seen players literally get out of the way to allow opposing players direct access to the basket. I don't like to name names, but his initials are "Jamario Moon". As a big basketball fan, this is almost unbearable to watch night in and night out.
This team has to be among the most underachieving in the history of the NBA. We have Chris Bosh, a strong, young mutiple all-star averaging over 20 points per game. Bargnagni, who has finally blossomed into one of the most well-rounded seven-footers in the game, also averaging over 20 in the last 10-12 games. Jose Calderon was one the premier point guards in the league before going down with a hamstring injury and who incidentally is perfect from the free-throw line for this entire season--76, I think. We have Jason Kapono, who won the three-throwing competition easily at last year's all-star game. Moon can almost fly to the moon--if he weren't afraid of getting hit. The rest of the supporting cast on a given night can shine.
Despite all that, they lose far more than their share of games. I believe the reason is that you can't have too many softies on one team--no matter how good they are. You can get away with one or two, but load up the squad and you're asking for trouble. You need toughness. And this team is lacking it big time. Are you listening, Bryan?
On Jose's free-throw streak.
And more.
He had a very slow start, putting up numbers like 4-6 points per game. Then, just as he was starting to click with a few high-scoring games, he flopped like a fish out of water. I don't recall how many games he was out for. I don't remember because he's been out several different times already and we're only in the middle of the season. He's probably missed almost as many games as he has played.
Now, there are trade rumours, but who in their right mind will take a chance on him now that they've seen confirmation that he is washed up? Colangelo, for the most part, was hailed as the second coming of Christ in Toronto, but the sheen on his halo has been fading about as fast as the Raptors have been sliding down the Eastern Division standings--currently on a seven-game losing streak.
Colangelo has collected a team of somewhat talented, nice guys who lack the killer instinct necessary to compete in the NBA. No team has blown more double-digit leads than the Raps--once coughing up an 18-point lead. They have the most porous defense in the league. I have seen players literally get out of the way to allow opposing players direct access to the basket. I don't like to name names, but his initials are "Jamario Moon". As a big basketball fan, this is almost unbearable to watch night in and night out.
This team has to be among the most underachieving in the history of the NBA. We have Chris Bosh, a strong, young mutiple all-star averaging over 20 points per game. Bargnagni, who has finally blossomed into one of the most well-rounded seven-footers in the game, also averaging over 20 in the last 10-12 games. Jose Calderon was one the premier point guards in the league before going down with a hamstring injury and who incidentally is perfect from the free-throw line for this entire season--76, I think. We have Jason Kapono, who won the three-throwing competition easily at last year's all-star game. Moon can almost fly to the moon--if he weren't afraid of getting hit. The rest of the supporting cast on a given night can shine.
Despite all that, they lose far more than their share of games. I believe the reason is that you can't have too many softies on one team--no matter how good they are. You can get away with one or two, but load up the squad and you're asking for trouble. You need toughness. And this team is lacking it big time. Are you listening, Bryan?
On Jose's free-throw streak.
And more.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
On his last legs
AMSTERDAM, N.Y. – After he finished his lobster dinner, an upstate New York man apparently was still hungry for seafood so he swapped the lobster shell for crab legs — and now he faces a petit larceny charge.
Montgomery County Sheriff's deputies said a 57-year-old man brought back a reassembled lobster shell to his local Price Chopper store and claimed the crustacean was spoiled.
The store manager was about to let him trade the lobster for a $27 bag of king crab legs when he discovered the lobster was just a shell. Deputies said the man ran from the store clutching the crab legs when he was confronted.
Deputies said the man had already devoured the crab legs when they caught up with him at home. He was given an appearance ticket to answer the larceny charge in court.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The story reminded me of the turkey scene in Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation, which always makes me grin.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Black shmack
Is it just me or wouldn't the election of a black leader anywhere else in the world go by without any fanfare whatsoever? What does this say about the United States?
Let me be clear. I am happy for the American people, Black people everywhere, and even the entire rest of the world. It's just that to me, the circus around the event underscores the kind of deep-seated problems of hate and racism that have been a part of the United States since it was founded. Let's hope that Obama's inauguration signals the beginning of the end to the ongoing systemic problems that discriminate against Blacks, Hispanics and others in America.
Let me be clear. I am happy for the American people, Black people everywhere, and even the entire rest of the world. It's just that to me, the circus around the event underscores the kind of deep-seated problems of hate and racism that have been a part of the United States since it was founded. Let's hope that Obama's inauguration signals the beginning of the end to the ongoing systemic problems that discriminate against Blacks, Hispanics and others in America.
Pope to get YouTube channel
It appears that the Pope is getting his own channel on YouTube. According to The Vatican's press office, video of the pope's speeches as well as news about the pontiff will be posted. I can't wait to see all the Pope bloopers and Pope practical jokes videos. I hear he's a riot at house parties.
Pope Benedict does his oft-requested impression of Mr. Bean:
Pope Benedict does his oft-requested impression of Mr. Bean:
Monday, 19 January 2009
Danger! Danger!
The actor who played one of the most memorable TV characters from my youth has passed away. Bob May died of congestive heart failure in California on Sunday. Bob is best known for the man inside the robot from the hit 1960's television series "Lost in Space".
The robot was so difficult to get into and out of that Bob would stay put during breaks in the shooting. Passersby would sometimes see smoke wafting out of the robot.
"Danger, Will Robinson" was an oft-heard phrase on the show, usually repeated while flailing his robot arms about, although the voice was provided by someone else. Will Robinson was the young son of the Robinsons who were modelled after the family in the novel "Swiss Family Robinson".
Bob May was 69.
During show's run:
1995: Bob is on the left.
The robot was so difficult to get into and out of that Bob would stay put during breaks in the shooting. Passersby would sometimes see smoke wafting out of the robot.
"Danger, Will Robinson" was an oft-heard phrase on the show, usually repeated while flailing his robot arms about, although the voice was provided by someone else. Will Robinson was the young son of the Robinsons who were modelled after the family in the novel "Swiss Family Robinson".
Bob May was 69.
During show's run:
1995: Bob is on the left.
Sunday, 18 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Is there a software that can adjust the brightness of my monitor?
You behoves retrevial drivers for department's plant (graphics card, monitor).You can take it in corporation provided, produce's, upper or google.com
Editor's note: I thought I had a reasonable grasp of computers, but maybe not. I can't understand a word of the above answer. Can you?
You behoves retrevial drivers for department's plant (graphics card, monitor).You can take it in corporation provided, produce's, upper or google.com
Editor's note: I thought I had a reasonable grasp of computers, but maybe not. I can't understand a word of the above answer. Can you?
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
What are the causes and effects of teacher retentions?
Probably too much salt in the diet.
Probably too much salt in the diet.
Friday, 16 January 2009
A great, big harrah!
goes out to Seagate. As one of the largest manufacturers of hard drives in the world, and having fallen on hard times, Seagate has announced that it will reduce its workforce by 3,000. No, that's not the part that needs to be applauded. It also said that various executives' salaries will be reduced between 15% and 20%. Now, we're getting warmer. The CEO will take a 25% salary hit. Applause!
Why does the reduction of someone's pay require applause. Simple. Very quietly (to some) the gap between CEO's pay and that of the average worker has widened exponentially over the last few decades. You're probably thinking "Vin, you must be exaggerating when you use the word 'exponentially', aren't you?" Au contraire, my friend. It is almost beyond belief how the wage gap has turned into a veritable chasm.
In 1965, the average Joe's pay envelope contained only 1/24th of what The Big Kahuna's did. Back then, that difference almost sounded reasonable. But greed being the hallmark of the rich, by 1979, that difference had grown to 35. By 1989, it was 71. 1995 was a banner year--it hit the 100 times milestone. Unbelievably, it was at this point that Chief Executives' salaries really took off. By the year 2000, they were making 300 times more than Joe Lunchpail!
If you were making $40,000/year, The Grand Poobah was pulling down about $12 million. And that's not counting the myriad of stock options, bonuses and benefits which can add millions more. Baby, you're a rich man! The tech wreck caused executive pay to be reduced...but it was short-lived. The gap between the poor and the rich continued its relentless, ever-widening journey.
This graph gives a visually-startling picture of the enormity of this untenable situation. Unfortunately, it only shows data up until 2005.
On behalf of all the little guys, a hearty congratulations, Seagate, on taking a gutsy stand on executive pay. Here's hoping your peers follow your sensible and ground-breaking stand.
The Story.
Why does the reduction of someone's pay require applause. Simple. Very quietly (to some) the gap between CEO's pay and that of the average worker has widened exponentially over the last few decades. You're probably thinking "Vin, you must be exaggerating when you use the word 'exponentially', aren't you?" Au contraire, my friend. It is almost beyond belief how the wage gap has turned into a veritable chasm.
In 1965, the average Joe's pay envelope contained only 1/24th of what The Big Kahuna's did. Back then, that difference almost sounded reasonable. But greed being the hallmark of the rich, by 1979, that difference had grown to 35. By 1989, it was 71. 1995 was a banner year--it hit the 100 times milestone. Unbelievably, it was at this point that Chief Executives' salaries really took off. By the year 2000, they were making 300 times more than Joe Lunchpail!
If you were making $40,000/year, The Grand Poobah was pulling down about $12 million. And that's not counting the myriad of stock options, bonuses and benefits which can add millions more. Baby, you're a rich man! The tech wreck caused executive pay to be reduced...but it was short-lived. The gap between the poor and the rich continued its relentless, ever-widening journey.
This graph gives a visually-startling picture of the enormity of this untenable situation. Unfortunately, it only shows data up until 2005.
On behalf of all the little guys, a hearty congratulations, Seagate, on taking a gutsy stand on executive pay. Here's hoping your peers follow your sensible and ground-breaking stand.
The Story.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Public Service Announcement
If you discover that your bank has erroneously credited your account with a large sum of money, don't spend it. In fact, report it immediately before you get some cockamamie idea in your head.
Case in point: A Pennsylvania couple is behind bars after police say they failed to call the bank when a glitch put an extra $175,000 in their account. What did these normal, hard-working people decide to do instead of reporting the error? Why, they both quit their jobs, moved to Florida and were in the process of buying a new home when the law caught up with them. Now, they each have a new home. With a courtyard. I mean an exercise yard. I think it's best that they're segregated from the general gene pool, anyway.
What's even more remarkable (there's always something more remarkable in cases like this) is the woman's defence. She said her husband, who is a roofer, often gets big pay cheques and she was unaware of any error. I guess quitting their jobs and buying a new home is pretty routine for them.
The Story.
Case in point: A Pennsylvania couple is behind bars after police say they failed to call the bank when a glitch put an extra $175,000 in their account. What did these normal, hard-working people decide to do instead of reporting the error? Why, they both quit their jobs, moved to Florida and were in the process of buying a new home when the law caught up with them. Now, they each have a new home. With a courtyard. I mean an exercise yard. I think it's best that they're segregated from the general gene pool, anyway.
What's even more remarkable (there's always something more remarkable in cases like this) is the woman's defence. She said her husband, who is a roofer, often gets big pay cheques and she was unaware of any error. I guess quitting their jobs and buying a new home is pretty routine for them.
The Story.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
I'm an old geezer
It's official. I am losing more hair--wait, it's not what you think. It was decades ago when I first started seeing large amounts of hair going down the shower drain every morning. It was painful to watch at first, but eventually, I came to accept its inevitability. This was especially difficult for a guy who once did not get a haircut for three and a half years, easily reaching behind my back and grasping my hair, which was half way down my back.
Now that my hair is very sparse, it seems that I am losing less of it to the drain, but something more sinister and distressing is occurring. Each morning, after showering, I stand in front of the basin and mirror, shaving, brushing, primping, spraying, etc. The other day, as I started to clean the area, I noticed that there were an assortment of hairs all about. That's not the distressing part.
To a third party, it might not have been given any notice at all, but as the owner of all those precious hairs, it meant a lot. What I witnessed were hairs of every possible origin. There were hairs from my head, perhaps a moustache hair, there may have been a nose hair or two, I saw at least one eye lash and I was fairly certain a thick and outlandishly long eye brow hair sat in the sink. It's anyone's guess whether a hair from an ear had joined the others just to make sure all sources were represented.
Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much. About six to eight months ago, I bought a battery-operated ear/nose hair trimmer and I've been very happy with it, relieving people of having to nervously look away after spotting the unsightly and embarrassing growth. Oh, I had tried my best to trim it with very small scissors, but it was always a job badly done and not without its dangers. On one occasion, a sudden sharp pain in my nose signalled I had cut something I shouldn't have. Half a tissue shoved up my nose became almost entirely soaked with blood before the stream subsided.
So, perhaps losing all this "extraneous" hair isn't such a bad thing--maybe soon, I won't have any hair left anywhere that I need to be concerned about removing...and risking my life in the process.
Now that my hair is very sparse, it seems that I am losing less of it to the drain, but something more sinister and distressing is occurring. Each morning, after showering, I stand in front of the basin and mirror, shaving, brushing, primping, spraying, etc. The other day, as I started to clean the area, I noticed that there were an assortment of hairs all about. That's not the distressing part.
To a third party, it might not have been given any notice at all, but as the owner of all those precious hairs, it meant a lot. What I witnessed were hairs of every possible origin. There were hairs from my head, perhaps a moustache hair, there may have been a nose hair or two, I saw at least one eye lash and I was fairly certain a thick and outlandishly long eye brow hair sat in the sink. It's anyone's guess whether a hair from an ear had joined the others just to make sure all sources were represented.
Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much. About six to eight months ago, I bought a battery-operated ear/nose hair trimmer and I've been very happy with it, relieving people of having to nervously look away after spotting the unsightly and embarrassing growth. Oh, I had tried my best to trim it with very small scissors, but it was always a job badly done and not without its dangers. On one occasion, a sudden sharp pain in my nose signalled I had cut something I shouldn't have. Half a tissue shoved up my nose became almost entirely soaked with blood before the stream subsided.
So, perhaps losing all this "extraneous" hair isn't such a bad thing--maybe soon, I won't have any hair left anywhere that I need to be concerned about removing...and risking my life in the process.
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Im axin a question fo da nÑ–ggaz. Do u like KFC or Churches Chicken betta?
Editor's note: Ironically, immediately following the question above, was this question...
Does racism still exist?
Editor's note: Ironically, immediately following the question above, was this question...
Does racism still exist?
Monday, 12 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
What is the best way to get marijuana legalised?
You mean before your court date?
You mean before your court date?
Saturday, 10 January 2009
Vehicular Assault
Yesterday morning at 9:00 a.m., I moved my car from my building's parking lot to allow it to be cleared of snow (the lot, not the car). I parked my car across the street at a busy shopping mall. I would find out at about 4 p.m. that I had left the vehicle unlocked all day long.
As I approached the car, I noticed right away that the driver's door lock was in the raised position. I was very uneasy as I got in and checked my console and glove box, almost expecting to see something was missing. Though there was nothing of value, anyway, I breathed a sigh of relief that no one had disturbed the sanctity of my car.
If you've never had your car or home ransacked, you wouldn't know the ugly feeling of violation. It's sort of how I imagine a woman would feel after being sexually assaulted, but of course, far, far less devastating. But the thought of some low life who probably has b.o. and bad breath along with a wanton disregard for anybody's property or feelings going through your personal stuff is not a pleasant one.
There was a time when my vehicle would get broken into on a regular basis. I lost jewellery, a briefcase with personal papers inside, and even had my wire wheel covers stolen. When you first discover the crime, you feel like you could kill the bastard if he were right there.
Anyway, the absence of criminal activity on this day made me think of Michael Moore in Bowling For Columbine where he found a number of homes with unlocked doors in downtown Toronto, and commented on the contrast between Canadian and U.S. cities. I don't buy that large Canadian cities are filled with angels as Moore would have everyone believe, but it was a pleasant surprise that even in a busy shopping mall parking lot just outside Toronto, with hordes of young people from nearby schools coming and going, my open vehicle remained unsoiled by strangers' hands.
As I approached the car, I noticed right away that the driver's door lock was in the raised position. I was very uneasy as I got in and checked my console and glove box, almost expecting to see something was missing. Though there was nothing of value, anyway, I breathed a sigh of relief that no one had disturbed the sanctity of my car.
If you've never had your car or home ransacked, you wouldn't know the ugly feeling of violation. It's sort of how I imagine a woman would feel after being sexually assaulted, but of course, far, far less devastating. But the thought of some low life who probably has b.o. and bad breath along with a wanton disregard for anybody's property or feelings going through your personal stuff is not a pleasant one.
There was a time when my vehicle would get broken into on a regular basis. I lost jewellery, a briefcase with personal papers inside, and even had my wire wheel covers stolen. When you first discover the crime, you feel like you could kill the bastard if he were right there.
Anyway, the absence of criminal activity on this day made me think of Michael Moore in Bowling For Columbine where he found a number of homes with unlocked doors in downtown Toronto, and commented on the contrast between Canadian and U.S. cities. I don't buy that large Canadian cities are filled with angels as Moore would have everyone believe, but it was a pleasant surprise that even in a busy shopping mall parking lot just outside Toronto, with hordes of young people from nearby schools coming and going, my open vehicle remained unsoiled by strangers' hands.
Friday, 9 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Sister is going to get a dog home soon. what's the focus we should train on?
Teach him that if he absolutely must lick his privates, he should leave the room first.
I wish my dog would get a job.
Teach him that if he absolutely must lick his privates, he should leave the room first.
I wish my dog would get a job.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Wizards lack magic
to overcome the Toronto Raptors' 21-point lead. In a battle of two of the worst teams in the NBA, Raptors, true to form, built a big lead in the first half, but despite allowing Washington to get close late in the contest, Raps hung on to win 99-93. Wizards scratched their way to within 5 points with just 39 seconds remaining, but I had given them too much credit, having predicted Raps would win by only 3 pooints.
It's not easy
being a Toronto Raptor's fan. This NBA team has lost more games in which they led by double-digits than any other team in the league. Their game against the Milwaukee Bucks this past Monday was nothing short of a showcase for how to give up a lead late in a game. The Raptors had led for almost the entire game. Now, with 34 seconds left and the Raps on top by 3, I suppose it's not entirely uncommon to lose such a game. But what is very uncommon is that in those 34 seconds, Toronto allowed Milwaukee to score 13 unanswered points, winning by 10. Once again, they folded like a cheap tent.
I posted on a message board just a day before that game that the Raptors have all the talent they need to be contenders, but the one thing they lack is grit. Call it determination. Call it hunger. Call it killer instinct. Whatever you want to call it, it is what often separates winners from losers. Without it, you cannot win consistently.
Case in point: Last year, in a game against the Los Angeles Lakers, Raps led by as many as 22 points in the third quarter. This should have been enough to allow them to coast to a victory, right? Wrong. Not only did they lose the game, they gave up the lead while still in the third quarter! That was the night that Kobe Bryant scored his historic 81 points, handing the Raps a hard-to-swallow 104-122 loss.
So, the question now is what will Raptors do tonight in Washington? Really, it shouldn't matter. The Wizards have only won seven games all season. But the Raptors have lost to such teams before. It's a tough call. They may win by 20 or maybe lose by 10. Here's my prediction: Raps will build a sizable lead--perhaps 15 points. In the end, it will be a nail-biter that will see them narrowly squeak out a 3-point win.
I posted on a message board just a day before that game that the Raptors have all the talent they need to be contenders, but the one thing they lack is grit. Call it determination. Call it hunger. Call it killer instinct. Whatever you want to call it, it is what often separates winners from losers. Without it, you cannot win consistently.
Case in point: Last year, in a game against the Los Angeles Lakers, Raps led by as many as 22 points in the third quarter. This should have been enough to allow them to coast to a victory, right? Wrong. Not only did they lose the game, they gave up the lead while still in the third quarter! That was the night that Kobe Bryant scored his historic 81 points, handing the Raps a hard-to-swallow 104-122 loss.
So, the question now is what will Raptors do tonight in Washington? Really, it shouldn't matter. The Wizards have only won seven games all season. But the Raptors have lost to such teams before. It's a tough call. They may win by 20 or maybe lose by 10. Here's my prediction: Raps will build a sizable lead--perhaps 15 points. In the end, it will be a nail-biter that will see them narrowly squeak out a 3-point win.
Sterling drops
One of the early pioneers of the First Nation's movement in Canada is gone. Sterling Brass died on Friday at the age of 70.
Chief Lawrence Joseph remembers Brass as a true leader who worked hard to improve the lives of First Nation's people.
He is survived by his three children Goldy Silver, Copper Nickel and Zinc Mercury.
Story
Chief Lawrence Joseph remembers Brass as a true leader who worked hard to improve the lives of First Nation's people.
He is survived by his three children Goldy Silver, Copper Nickel and Zinc Mercury.
Story
Monday, 5 January 2009
A sparkling performance
Canada proved to be too much even for a motivated Swedish squad who fell short in the fight for Gold for the second year in a row to the same adversary. For Canada, it was its fifth consecutive Gold Medal, a feat they accomplished twice now, having also won Gold in years 1993-1997.
Canada wasted no time opening the scoring with a goal just 38 seconds into the game. The game remained close until the lead widened to two in the second period. Despite having six or seven opportunities with a man advantage, including two short stints with a two-man advantage, the Swedes could not capitalize.
Finally, an even-strength Swedish goal midway through the third period made it Canada 3 Sweden 1. When Sweden pulled out all the stops, vacating the net in favour of an extra forward with more than two minutes left in the game, Canada scored two empty-net goals, clinching the Gold Medal.
Canada wasted no time opening the scoring with a goal just 38 seconds into the game. The game remained close until the lead widened to two in the second period. Despite having six or seven opportunities with a man advantage, including two short stints with a two-man advantage, the Swedes could not capitalize.
Finally, an even-strength Swedish goal midway through the third period made it Canada 3 Sweden 1. When Sweden pulled out all the stops, vacating the net in favour of an extra forward with more than two minutes left in the game, Canada scored two empty-net goals, clinching the Gold Medal.
What's just below Gold?
National disgrace. This is the reality that every Canadian national hockey team (not to be confused with Canadian NHL team, who have been a national disgrace for longer than I care to remember) must contend with every time they step on the ice. Despite the tremendous pressure, team after team--junior, Olympic, World and women's teams keep coming through with the goods. The current World Junior Hockey tourney is no exception.
The Canadian machine has sputtered on the way here--they allowed the Americans to build a 3-goal lead on New Year's Eve, but fought back to win 7-4 and then in an even more remarkable match this past Saturday night, the boys scored on Russia with five second left in regulation to send it into overtime, where the Canadians won in a shoot-out.
So, tonight they go for Gold for the fifth time in as many tournaments. They face a very talented and determined Swedish team and it should prove to be a highly exciting and entertaining game. And once again, nothing less than Gold is acceptable.
The Canadian machine has sputtered on the way here--they allowed the Americans to build a 3-goal lead on New Year's Eve, but fought back to win 7-4 and then in an even more remarkable match this past Saturday night, the boys scored on Russia with five second left in regulation to send it into overtime, where the Canadians won in a shoot-out.
So, tonight they go for Gold for the fifth time in as many tournaments. They face a very talented and determined Swedish team and it should prove to be a highly exciting and entertaining game. And once again, nothing less than Gold is acceptable.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
Why does my school make us pull up our pants?
If you don't like it, go enrol in plumbing school.
If you don't like it, go enrol in plumbing school.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
New music video
I recently posted a new music video at my sister site. Actually, it has nothing to do with my sister. I hope you enjoy it.
www.videosbyvinny.blogspot.com
www.videosbyvinny.blogspot.com
Q & A's from around the web
Do you believe all these female porn stars that say they have high iqs?
For example:
Katie Morgan
Wikipedia: "She claims to have a genius IQ according to internet tests."
Having a high I.Q. doesn't equate to having morals, though. So they may be geniuses, but with all the "creative" things they do on camera for the sack of a buck, do they honestly think it matters how smart they are?
Editors note: At first I thought "for the sack of a buck" was a typo, but then I thought "Hmmm...it does make sense".
For example:
Katie Morgan
Wikipedia: "She claims to have a genius IQ according to internet tests."
Having a high I.Q. doesn't equate to having morals, though. So they may be geniuses, but with all the "creative" things they do on camera for the sack of a buck, do they honestly think it matters how smart they are?
Editors note: At first I thought "for the sack of a buck" was a typo, but then I thought "Hmmm...it does make sense".
Friday, 2 January 2009
Q & A's from around the web
If you were to stage a monkey knife fight what would be the name of your champion chimp?
Furious George
Chimp Norris
Furious George
Chimp Norris
Thursday, 1 January 2009
Need another reason to hate banks?
On Wednesday, I sat down to do some important online banking. As I tried to get to my bank's website, I got a browser message saying it was unreachable. After a couple more attempts, The familiar green home page appeared. I typed in my password and after an unusually long delay, I got a message indicating some problem and to try again and if it persists, to call the help desk.
After a few more unsuccessful attempts, I called the number listed. I got a busy signal. I figured I wasn't the only one experiencing the problem. Several more calls (and log-in tries) over the next twenty minutes proved unfruitful. I let it go.
About an hour later, there was no indication the problem had occurred. Now, I'm no genius--ok, I am, but it doesn't take a genius to see something wrong with this picture. Rather than advise possibly thousands of clients to try again or phone a line that will either be busy or else unanswerable due to volume and frustrate them further, why not update the log-in error message as soon as they realize there is a widespread problem and indicate NOT to try again and NOT to call the help desk as they are aware of the situation, and possibly give an estimated time to resolution? I'm just sayin'.
After a few more unsuccessful attempts, I called the number listed. I got a busy signal. I figured I wasn't the only one experiencing the problem. Several more calls (and log-in tries) over the next twenty minutes proved unfruitful. I let it go.
About an hour later, there was no indication the problem had occurred. Now, I'm no genius--ok, I am, but it doesn't take a genius to see something wrong with this picture. Rather than advise possibly thousands of clients to try again or phone a line that will either be busy or else unanswerable due to volume and frustrate them further, why not update the log-in error message as soon as they realize there is a widespread problem and indicate NOT to try again and NOT to call the help desk as they are aware of the situation, and possibly give an estimated time to resolution? I'm just sayin'.
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